Much like my esteemed colleague Dave, I too enjoyed returning to DC as much as one would enjoy swallowing a cup of rusty thumbtacks.
You know, when you're driving back into town at night after being away for a week, the first thing you notice is the stars. Specifically, the stars fading away one by one as the city lights blend them out of the skyline. For me, that's pretty sucky and also a bit depressing, but what can you do.
Then, unfortunately, the first real indication that you're back in town is that gaudy Air Force Memorial (yes, you heard me, GAUDY. Somebody had to say it). Seeing that thing from the freeway isn't depressing, but it fails to cause me to reflect on our airmen and their sacrifices. Plus, it was technically erected during a time of war which I think is a little weird anyway. When I drive past it, all I can do is stare and say to myself, "what the fuck." With the exception of the beautifully done Vietnam Wall Memorial, the military shouldn't be allowed to rely on modern art sculptures or post modern or whatever it is (both of which I do really enjoy in the museums instead of the freeway). But as a general rule, if the military won't allow gays to serve openly, they're not allowed to use pomo.
Juxtapose "spike" against Crystal City (which I affectionately call Military-Industrial Complex City), and you realize how much a small group of silly people in our nation's capital can really fuck things up for everyone else despite their best intentions. That's Washington's REAL power, and for some, its attraction.
Anyway, I'm home now, and I suppose it's all rusty thumbtacks from here on out.
1.05.2009
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Now some moron tells you that Crystal City has nothing to do with Washington, D.C., and that you're off message here.
ReplyDeleteMoron says what?
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ReplyDeleteYou're so right, M@. I don't understand their way of thinking at all. People who think NOVA can't be occasionally lumped in with DC are really splitting hairs. Moreover, those people probably live in the burbs themselves, yet they read/critisize a blog about DC. How hypocritical is that?
ReplyDelete'welcome' back. I'm sincerely looking forward to your play by play of the inaugural shitstorm that is brewing since I can't be there myself.
ReplyDeleteThe memorial is ugly and yeah the OP is an idiot, like most of the other dysfunctional OPers on this site.
ReplyDeletethe "freeway?" Is that some kind of midwest slang? If you think the Air Force memorial is gaudy, then i guess you've never seen the Air Force thunderbirds or the missing man formation.
ReplyDelete"those people probably live in the burbs themselves, yet they read/critisize a blog about DC. How hypocritical is that?"
ReplyDeleteWell, I've been in DC (the actual place) for 17 years and I think suburban assholes who profess to hate DC yet spend the better part of their waking hours in DC day after day, year after year, are the ultimate hypocrites.
"People who think NOVA can't be occasionally lumped in with DC are really splitting hairs."
ReplyDeleteYou know that Arlington and Alexandria were literally part of DC when the city was first organized, right?
All y'all southern folk took yer lands back in the name of the Confederacy 'cause y'all didn't wanna give up slavery as a way of life.
(its a fact, look it up!)
The memorial makes me think of the long claws of a monster buried alive and trying to claw his way free.
ReplyDeleteYeah, yeah, I know what it's supposed to be, but I see monster claws first.
Well, it sure beats a Massachusetts-style billboard, right?
ReplyDelete"Well, I've been in DC (the actual place) for 17 years and I think suburban assholes who profess to hate DC yet spend the better part of their waking hours in DC day after day, year after year, are the ultimate hypocrites."
ReplyDeleteWell, if you read this blog, that would probably equate to all people outside of the District of Columbia, and especially those evil Virginians.
And I think "hate" is a really strong word. There are probably more DC transplants from the midwest who actually hate the 'burbs, especially VA and "The South" in general, than DC local suburbanites who literally "hate" DC. A lot of the things that people hate about DC, DC hates too anyway. Inefficient gov't, crime, high taxes, shitty schools, etc.
I just don't like the area around the memorial, the memorial itself, isn't so bad although it takes getting used to.
ReplyDeleteWhat I really *love* about the Air Force memorial is that it looks so damn out of place that even when you get right up on it you expect it to turn out to be a computer generated hologram. 'cause what I really want is three polished metal spears that resemble nothing so much as the carrot shavings on top of a nouvel cuisine piece of fish looming over the sedate hill of Arlington National Cemetery.
ReplyDeletethe first real indication that you're back in town is that gaudy Air Force Memorial (yes, you heard me, GAUDY. Somebody had to say it) - Awesome.
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one that actually likes that thing? It's not gaudy at all. Quite the opposite, I think it's the essence of simplicity and elegance. It perfectly captures it's intended imagery with very just a few simple curves.
ReplyDeleteNow the World War II memorial, on the other hand. That thing sucks. It's ostentatious and boring at the same time, and destroyed what used to be an unspoiled view.
I hate DC, but I like the South. Well, not the deep south. But Virginia, NC, SC. Mid-atlantic South I suppose or something.
ReplyDelete"GAUDY"
ReplyDeleteIts gaudy if you're a transplanted hick posing as an urban sophisticate from your bland cookie cutter apartment in Herndon. (and all of NOVA is bland)
I'm with you Jamie...I think the AF memorial is simple & stunning. The first thing I thought when I saw it was "fighter jets!"
ReplyDeleteM@ obviously expended a lot of mental energy on that comment.
ReplyDelete(Seriously.)
@M,
ReplyDeleteWhat took you so long, moron? And nothing can be gaudier than the Mormon Temple, for Christ's sake.
M@,
ReplyDeleteYou're like a widemouth bass that has swallowed the lure.
Are you refreshing this page every 45 seconds? Or every 15 seconds?
Up and @M, @M Ant!
You know that there was an architect named Gaudy, right? That's where the word comes from. (That's called: Etymology, history of words)
ReplyDeleteGaudy died after being hit by a bus.
If you are tossing the term "Gaudy" around and you didn't know any of the above until now, you might be a dumbass. (or you might call yourself "M@", but whats the diff?)
They've been watering those Airforce Memorial Tines since DC was founded as a suburb of Alexandria. They didn't really sprout above the 395 line until aught five.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYou know that there was an architect named Gaudy, right? That's where the word comes from. (That's called: Etymology, history of words)
ReplyDeleteGaudy died after being hit by a bus.
If you are tossing the term "Gaudy" around and you didn't know any of the above until now, you might be a dumbass. (or you might call yourself "M@", but whats the diff?)
--Anonymous,
You sound like a complete retard. Did you just take a 9th grade vocabulary word and define it for my edification.
You are like a finless brown trout (i.e., piece of shit).
Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteYou should spend more time answering questions on Yahoo!
Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteSo I just looked it up. His name was spelled Gaudi. Jesus Christ. If you're going to try to impress me w/ your esoteric knowledge, check the spelling.
Etymology! LOL! You should teach 9th grade!
Note that its usage was in quotations marks: "Gaudy"
ReplyDelete'acause thats how they spells it in Virginnie.
You get points for basic Google skills though!
Anonymous (138.88.83.95),
ReplyDeleteIt was also in all-caps. Gaudy is not a "term" but, rather, is a word in the English language.
Btw, you can't even spell. It's "it's," not "its."
Nice sparring with you.....
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAnd, so, YOU come up short, ARNL. :)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete