Four Million Lousy Handjobs All At One Time

Like a supervillian who won’t DIE, Metro lives on. Ugh. Metro has agreed to pay a portion of the money KBC Bank was demanding thereby satisfying the terms of their lease. City officials have declared this a successful resolution. But come on, even though they didn’t pay the full $43 million (which is double KBC’s original investment), the reality is that $17 million just got sucked out of riders' safety and maintenance budgets. That’s like saying: "Well, you've been raped, but hey, at least you're not pregnant!"

So much for my idea of reincarnating Metro. Konichiwa, futuristic trains! It’s a shame especially because the Park Service expects there to be ohhh… 4 million people on the national mall for Inauguration Day. And how will the city’s transit system fare?

Flashback to 1976, says the Washington Post:

That year, a million spectators were expected on the Mall to celebrate the Bicentennial. Transit officials urged people to take public transportation and promised special service. But there was nothing special about the Fourth of July traffic jam, which stranded cars and buses for hours.

Oh you poor, poor idealistic suckers spectators. I guess I'm happy that so many people want to celebrate Obama’s Inauguration, but I was around for the 2004 Bush Inauguration too. Talk about a cluster fuck. As I recall, the city was flooded with large, midwestern, crazy Mormon types with ten-gallon bucket hats aimlessly meandering about. Not fun.

Now I can appreciate tourists wanting to visit the city (so long as they stay outta my way). It’s the nation’s capital after all. But all of them at the same time??? Only 230,000 people will have “reserved” spots in viewing areas close to the capitol portico, and Fenty says we can expect some of the remaining 3.5 million people to camp out the night before. You guys, this is going to suuuuuck. I may just take a week’s vacation and bail on the city (and this blog) around then. Who's with me?

My apartment is a ten minute walk to the capitol and two blocks from the Metro. I haven’t decided if I’m going to rent out my crappy studio. People say I should, but I don’t know. I’ve always despised the city for charging ridiculous ammounts for rent. So how much better would I be for jacking prices even higher even if it’s just for one day? It would only add to the misimpression that people should want to live here. But then again, this is DC. How many people are really thinking about what’s fair?