Taxi Stand Plan for Adams-Morgan: Fail.

Here's the thing about Adams Morgan: it sucks. Royally. Popped collars and white girls getting desperate at 2am, a lot of DMX and Britney Spears. Lord, deliver me. The traffic is horrible, even in the wee hours of the morning, what with all the cars stopping so a blond girl from Ohio can throw up in the middle of the street, and taxis sitting there waiting for drunk dudes to load some other drunk guy into the cab without accidentally un-popping his collar.

So I was kind of excited when I heard that the AdMo Business Improvement District had decreed that there would be two taxi stands in Adams Morgan, one at the top of the hill and the other at the bottom of the hill. No more taxis stopping every five feet, no more drunk idiots stopping traffic so they can all run across the street to get into a cab. Excellent plan. Maybe my bus won't take twenty minutes to go four blocks.

This being the district, where plans are transformed into reality by the same process that Santa delivers presents (namely, that neither of them deliver anything), the plan did not go as expected. If you are going to go to the trouble of making a plan and hiring people, you might want to go ahead and enforce the new rules. Last night there were like fifty people at each taxi stand, waiting for their taxis, but the taxis were picking up fares anywhere that was convenient. Nice work, everyone.

Taxi Cab Drivers: you are fucking morons at the best of times. Don't push your luck. No one loves you.

Police: Start giving out some god damn tickets! Shoot your guns in the air Sarah-Palin-style! Tazer them! What ever! Just start writing violations.

Public-in-General: Attack at will. It's for the best, really.