Marion Barry to Give Away Turkey, Crack

It's turkey time and Councilmember Marion Barry (D-Ward 8) is planning to give away 1,200 birds starting at 9 a.m today, so sayeth the Washington Post.

Apparently he does this every Thanksgiving. The article isn’t clear if he’s giving away live "birds," which if he were, would be pretty hilarious to watch.

But you’ve got to HURRY if you want one! This event started an hour ago. You don’t want to miss out on all that free turkey… and crack. Do you?

As tradition, the Mayor did the same thing earlier in the month, but still. This is Marion Barry we’re talking about. We’re watching closely because only he could fuck this up in classic Barry way.

Here's the kicker. Barry made a statement and it goes like this. Washington Post.com:

But Barry has words for any jaded souls out there.

"I think it is truly tragic when so many people are unable to afford a meal at thanksgiving due to the massive loss of jobs and the impact of a slow economy," Barry said in a statement announcing his program. "America is focused so much on Wall Street and Main Street, but nobody is focused on the side or the back street where poverty is prevalent. We as a society of people just don't care enough and that cycle must change."

Oh fuck you, Barry. “We” (read: white people) "just don’t care enough” about the poverty, the government inefficiency and the political cronyism in this city that you've helped to create and perpetuate? I’ve got news for you. The city government hasn’t cared in decades. Jaded are those kids stabbing each other in Anacostia High. Jaded are the children in the city turning to prostitution just to feed themselves. (Side note: Will someone please page Laura Sessions Stepp about this? I want her 1950’s utopian-centric head to explode.)

And lest we forget, Barry has been the lead proponent in erecting the new Nationals Stadium EPIC FAIL. Evidently his answer to helping poor people is to spend millions of taxpayer dollars to price them out of the ghetto and then give them a turkey as a parting gift. And, finally, Barry has been one of the chief assholes blocking Michelle Rhee’s educational reforms, arguably the last best hope for the District’s public school system. A wise man once said, you can give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. But teach a man how to fish and he can eat forever.

Well, you can give away a million turkey’s Barry, but you’re still a dick. Just sayin'.