What Do Blood, And Gore, And Eleanore Holmes Norton Have In Common?

As much as it sucks living in DC, I thank God each and every day that I don’t live in Maryland. I’m especially grateful that I’m not a garbage man in Montgomery County:

"A sanitation worker was crushed Wednesday morning by the municipal truck on which he worked, according to the Montgomery County Police Department. The incident occurred about 8:30 a.m. and involved an unidentified Hispanic man caught in the recycling truck compactor that was operating in the Aspen Hill area, police said."

And if that weren’t enough, the Washington Post revealed today that Maryland residents have a tendency to go around stabbing people:

"Fla. Man Fatally Stabbed On Trip to Deliver a Boat
After picking up a boat in ironically named Welcome, Md., on Wednesday night, [Shelton Stephens] pulled his truck into the parking lot of a Hooters in Waldorf and went inside. Stephens, 52, sat down near a Waldorf man named Joseph J. Plass. It is not clear what, if anything, the two men said to each other. What is clear, police said, is that after they left about 7:30 p.m., Plass, 57, pulled a knife and stabbed Stephens in the upper body."

The article continues…

"On Tuesday, police found the body of 28-year-old Daniel Cordova, who was naked and had been fatally stabbed, behind a Waldorf home improvement store."

Man, first in Home Depot and now Hooters?? Attention men (and maybe some of you lesbians), don't go anywhere north of Silver Spring.

Meanwhile back in DC, imaginary Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton did a premature victory dance in front of the Senate Dirksen Building yesterday.

D.C. Delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton, emboldened by the election of Barack Obama to the presidency, predicts Congress will approve by next year long-sought D.C. voting rights legislation. "The election has made it all but inevitable," Mrs. Norton said Thursday.

Aww, Pinocchio thinks he’s going to become a real boy.