An ugly time for journalism

The True Father Times needed a reporter to send to the G8 Summit in Scotland. So, of course, True Father sent Jen Waters. Because, really, where do you go once you've covered the hell out of rich peoples' dog houses and the crazy lady who makes paper out of old blue jeans? Clearly, the logical next step was to dive into the compliacted world of international politics.

Oh, and also, Marie Kester Coombs made it back into the TFT (under "Culture Briefs?"). You remember her, right? The white supremacist lady they regularly publish, who oh by the way just happens to be the wife of Managing Editor Francis "Fran" "Franny Boy" Coombs? (That totally is his full nickname. Francis "Fran" "Franny Boy" Coombs.)

But the bestest blow to el journalismo ever: Judith Miller is in jail! For those of you who forgot/never knew, Miller's patented "fake scoops", published in no less a newspaper than the New York Times, gave the pro-war lobby a lot of fake ammunition with which to convince themselves that blowing up some random brown people in retaliation for 9/11 would be an acceptable cathartic release.

And, more recently, it appears she may have helped someone in the administration commit some light treason with regards to the outing of noted superspy Valerie Plame, JUST as Plame was about to foil Lena Olin's master plans for world domination. (Or, I made that last part up in my head.) So just like that... Miller's in jail!

OK, but the judge didn't go all out here. I was disappointed. He could have sent her to the D.C. jail, which is everything you'd expect from a pound-you-in-the-ass jail in D.C., and maybe even less. It's way run down, way way over capacity, and inmates keep killing each other and stuff. The Bowtie was supposed to have set a new population cap for the jail 17 months ago, but, you know, that would require work, and there's no way to get a decent photo op out of it.

So Judith Miller, being a quasi-celebrity who merely helped deceive America into the Iraq slam-dunk cakewalk we still find ourselves gaily skipping through, does not get sent to real jail. No, she gets sent to Alexandria jail instead. Oh man, I can't even type Alexandria without having it show up in magenta. How bad can prison be there? It's, like, Jail Lite. Or maybe Tropical Fruity Jail with Mango and Passion Fruit. LAME!

Oh, FYI, apparently me wishing that Judith Miller had been sent to Super Scary Jail instead is mean-spirited.

But I am appalled by those who seem to be reveling in her jailing (incidentally, for a story that she never wrote) as retribution for the stories she did write during the run-up to the Iraqi War. Is this what the anti-war movement has come to?

Ummmmm... yes. Nobody would actually listen to reason or caution during the run-up to the war... so at this point, yeah, schadenfreude is basically all I've got left. Aww, Judy has a tummyache from jail food? Awwwww. That's adorable. And she can't get the other inmates to switch from rap videos to Fox News. Again, hilarious. If I thought I could get away with it, I would go down to the Fruity Jail posing as a visitor, and then basically laugh and point at Miller through the glass for several minutes.

So yeah, I'm definitely enjoying this. I'm hoping this goes on for a while, and that I get to hear about Judy getting sold for cigarettes or something. Hey, there's a reality show I would watch: Judy In Jail. Coming this fall on Fox. Oooh, I, um... need to go make some calls about this.