Writing to Fill Space

1. The University of Maryland is, supposedly, a school filled with smarties who had to pull 3.7s in their (ugh) public high school to earn admittance. And yet, UMD students and alumni are consistently the stupidest people in the room.

"Stupid" might be a bit harsh. I admit to pre-judging anyone who went to UMD. Why? Because of shit like this.

At Thursday's football game between Maryland and West Virginia, a Maryland student, Thomas Agbonyitor, surely upset at his team getting hosed by the superior UWV squad, tackled a West Virginia fan. Why?

"I saw this fan standing around all cocky," Agbonyitor said. "So I did my best Shawne Merriman impression and took him out; everyone cheered. I hate when opposing fans come to our stadium and act like that."

Oh, well, if he was standing around all cocky, of course he deserved to be assaulted.

If anyone wants to have a good laugh at this moron's expense, here's a link to his totally indecipherable Myspace page. Go Terps!

2. I usually don't write about my dining experiences. That's more Tweaks's thing. But I have to make an exception for the worst brunch spot in DC.

Never, ever, ever go to Bardia's New Orleans Cafe. This place is a disaster. Our iced coffees came with foam and cream, but without ice. Apparently "iced coffee" is actually Cajun-speak for "lukewarm latte." My date's Eggs Hollandaise was so overcooked that the poached eggs were actually hard-boiled. Think about how disgusting that is. And instead of English muffins, the eggs were served on a thin, disgusting slice of deli ham. The potatoes were cold. My sausage omelette tasted like dish soap. I have never been more disgusted at a restaurant in my entire life. I left with a tummyache.

Good thing I have this here blog so I can spread the word. Avoid that place like the plague.


  1. I totally said that place was shit ages ago. The chicory coffee is decent tho.

  2. They actually wrote that shit up in their school newspaper as if it were a good thing, something to be proud of... What a total douche bag.

  3. Can't go wrong at Georgia Browns in the city or the Carlyle Grand outside of it.

  4. Hahahahahaha.....Caryle Grand = Over-Rated Suburban Sizzler. People in DC would never, never, never make the treck...not even close to being worth it! And yes, I've been there. Shit.....horseshit....

  5. Go try The Inn at Little Washington...if you can save $600+....about the only suburban thing in VA worth it...

  6. Good point emoemu, the whole school is one big, used, dirty douche bag.

    I went to a Maryland football game once with my girlfriend's family (her cousin was playing for the opposing team). Those fucking idiots screamed at us the entire way from the car to our seats, pushing my girlfriend's dad, yelling in her mom's face - it was disgusting. That school is full of fucking retards and that article is exhibit A.

  7. I love your blog, but you get a thumbs down here. College football stadiums are filled with stupid assholes?!?!?! No wai-omg-wtf!
    I saw some of those W.Va. dorks on Metro the day of that game. They were clogging up the escalator and wearing matching T-shirts. If one innocent kid has to be punished for the sins of the many, so be it.

    BTW, you had a date? I think it was an LNS mole sent to kill you.

  8. I like Bardia's, always have. Maybe if you want things like "iced coffee", you should go up the street to Starbucks. If you want "eggs hollandaise", go across and up the street to the Diner. If you go to a *New Orleans* restaurant, well...

  9. I like Bardia's, always have. If you want "iced coffee", maybe you should try Starbucks up the street. If you want "eggs hollandaise", maybe you should try the Diner or some place. If you go to a *New Orleans* restaurant...

  10. listen, umd kids aren't stupid. it's just when we combine alcohol and sporting events. most of us chose maryland b/c it was the best division I in-state school option we had. we're book smart, just a bit too eager and defensive (or offensive) when it comes to our sports teams.

    for the record, i've never been one to throw batteries and/or water bottles at the opposing team players.