4.17.2008

I Hate the Washington City Paper

So why not hate on the Washington City Paper readers as well? The WCP decided to have their first "Best of DC" poll since 1987. The paper features reader picks and staff picks. If the staff picks are as bad as their articles, we're in for a treat!

Now, I'm obviously going to be skipping quite a few of the WCP's categories. Let be 100% honest. I am only going to mention things that I either hate or disagree with. For all I know, this could be a great list. But as long as there's a few things that are, well, stupid, I'm going to focus on that.

Arts & Entertainments:

Obvious Reader Picks:

Obnoxious Staff Picks:

27 comments:

  1. Rusty you could have made your point with just this:
    Best Place to Stop While Driving Anywhere Worth Going- Sheetz

    That about sums it up. Sheetz is Shiitz. Their lines are ridiculously long and their customers are scary. Wawa on the other hand rules.

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  2. btw, maybe you should just refer to the city paper as the shitty paper in future posts.

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  3. Rusty-
    You area douche.
    However, you are correct, the City paper does suck the worst kind of suck ever.

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  4. s.eth,

    I love Sheetz.

    That is all.

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  5. I liked the Mall. Saw it once, crossed it off the "bucket list," and moved on.

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  6. But Matt! Surely you preferred jumbo slices and 50 cent beers to the Lincoln Monument!

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  7. 1. Sheetz is awesome. They change the "s" to a "z" at the end of, like, every word. They were doing that before the practice was appropriated by hip-hop culture.

    2. I'm not sure why, but "Sean Taylor is actually the worst R***kin. It's science. A good safety runs at least a 4.6 40-yard-dash. Sean Taylor's 40 time: Infinity." is the funniest fucking line I've read in a month.

    Well played.

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  8. "Best Way to Get to DCA for Free and Park for Nothing: Ride your bike."

    For cyring out loud.
    Oh okay. I'll just balance my roller luggage on my head while I peddle over the 14th street bridge during rush hour. And if I'm picking someone up, I'll have them ride on my handlebars. And where exactly do you put your bike when you get there?

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  9. Yeah, I'm with you on the pretentious staff picks; they're nauseating.

    The Piola thing is puzzling. I actually do think they have a really great happy hour (free food, cheap sangria), but best restaurant? They're a pizza place. I like them, but come on; I also live two blocks away. Best dessert? I didn't even know they had dessert. And every time I go there, the place is half empty - who exactly is voting for it?

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  10. My favorite was when they did those little nuggets on Washington's greatness written by the readers (I can't find those articles online). The one guy who said he lived in Washington all his life mentioned how he missed Columbia Hospital for Women, which he said was now a GW dorm, which it certainly is not. It's a Trader Joe's and a bunch of high-end condos.

    Nice to see they gave their fact-checkers the week off. Or laid them off. Either way, not exactly "shunning mediocrity."

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  11. asshattery. [linguistic swoon]

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  12. the best dim sum in DC can be found 2.5 hours north in philly.

    i mean, that's practically nova...

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  13. piola isn't even the best restaurant in rosslyn.

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  14. I went to Piola tonight and there's a large note on the bottom of my receipt to vote for Piola on washingtoncitypaper.com.

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  15. i interned in DC one summer and Ihate DC also. i love your blog.

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  16. Well yes, they were better but still, if you're only going once, see the mall to say you've seen it, then move you. You can always get 50 cent beer later.

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  17. I got a DC thing pissing me off today. Caps and Wizards playoff games at the same exact time, again... Couldn't the NHL and NBA get together on this one? Can't all powerful Comcast do something. Fuckin a...

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  18. The CP used to piss me off, but hoenstly, I can't be bothered to complain about it anymore because DCist has made it completely obsolete for my needs.

    Even though the CP has always had a touch of exclusionary elitism to its editorial focus, it's gotten worse in the past two or three years as the paper has convinced itself that its an actual news source.

    I liked it so much better when the CP regularly devoted their front page profiles to weirdos, homeless people and oddballs. It wasn't news, but at least it was amusing.

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  19. I'm with you on the NOVA pick. I'd shoot myself in the head before I lived in NOVA. Or went there for fun.

    But I have to disagree on the Malcolm X Park drum circle. I lived right across 16th for a year, and even though they occasionally bothered my Sunday morning hangover, I thought they were kind of cute.

    Anyway, I gave up on the City Paper when their reporter investigating women getting harassed on the street decided to do it himself. Just to see what it's like! Asshole.

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  20. Ben's Chili Bowl is terrible. To their credit, though, it's a tough pick between Black Eyes and Q & Not U for best band that should get back together. If you're into that hipster shit. They have cred?

    It's basically a poor version of Seattle's weekly The Stranger anyway.

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  21. AnonymousMay 02, 2008

    Rusty is a douche ...

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  22. Best independent movie theatre???? I'm bothered that they even put that category in at all considering that the Biograph and the Key are long dead and gone. I remember when DC used to be cool. It had character and funkiness. Now it is becoming a suburb and it makes me sad. It also makes a real best of list impossible.

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  23. AnonymousMay 08, 2008

    The Stranger's staff wouldn't wipe their asses with the City Paper -- even if their asses were distended, dingleberryed and the CP was the only thing around.

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  24. I find it pretty hilarious that so many focus on assigning arbitrary bull-laden descriptions of people as 'elitist', yet the same clowns insist that living in NOVA is akin to shooting yourself in the head. In all reality, DC is a f'n dump and it's "hot" areas are infested with crime, self-absorbed hill wankers, and others who can't seem to muster the reality of anything worth experiencing outside the city.

    District Proper isn't Manhattan...and NOVA isn't Brooklyn. Get a grip on yourself and venture outside your comfort zone. Assigning elitism to those at the city papers for all their hipster bs is meaningless when you simultaneously refuse to drive over a river b/c "it's not DC." Clowns.

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  25. "I find it pretty hilarious that so many focus on assigning arbitrary bull-laden descriptions of people as 'elitist', yet the same clowns insist that living in NOVA is akin to shooting yourself in the head. In all reality, DC is a f'n dump and it's "hot" areas are infested with crime, self-absorbed hill wankers, and others who can't seem to muster the reality of anything worth experiencing outside the city.

    District Proper isn't Manhattan...and NOVA isn't Brooklyn. Get a grip on yourself and venture outside your comfort zone. Assigning elitism to those at the city papers for all their hipster bs is meaningless when you simultaneously refuse to drive over a river b/c "it's not DC." Clowns."



    Sweet. That's exactly what I came on here to say.

    I have lived in (and passionately hated) Orange Line Arlington so I can see where you're coming from there but there's more to "Not DC" than a 5 mile strip of Wilson Blvd (which by the way a lot of the more "authentic" DC neighborhoods are starting to resemble in near facsimile).

    There are several great little neighborhoods in the greater DC area where you don't pay a 20%+ rent premium for the "privilege" of having a DC address. Where businesses are actually locally owned on more than the rare "Best of DC" occasion, where you can walk to just about everything you need, or to the Metro to get elsewhere. I could go on, or make a list of these places but if you're too lazy to discover them on your own, or more likely, too elitist and self-absorbed to even consider setting a foot out of your 60 square mile box (80% of which you write off as "ghetto") then I really, really, really don't want you for a neighbor.

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