It's Staggering How Much More Female Attention I Get When I Wear the Cat Shirt

Mount Pleasant supposedly has a dollar store. It's called Dollar Star. There's a bright sign in its front window that says "Uno Y Mas." I'm told that this means "one or more" or something along those lines. I am blissfully ignorant when it comes to any foreign language. It's clear that the owners of Dollar Star are blissfully ignorant about dollar stores.

The dollar is supposed to be the price ceiling, not the price floor. Why advertise yourself as a dollar store when almost EVERY SINGLE THING you offer is more than a dollar?

Check out this sweet towel:

I assure you that, in the history of humanity, this is the lowest quality towel that has ever been produced, packaged, or purchased. Its absorbency is laughable. How much did it cost at the Dollar Star?


Or how about this sweet t-shirt of a green-eyed cat romancing someone with a rose?

How much did this integral part of any dude's wardrobe cost at Dollar Store?


That shirt has no business being more than a dollar.

Mother's Day cards? Mas. Bottle openers? Mas. Small porcelain angel figurines? Mas. Every single thing is mas.

This is the equivalent of Pizza Hut serving nothing but hamburgers (though they're already pushing it with this pasta business) or Mattress Discounters selling nothing but cabinets. If you're going to advertise that everything in store is at least a dollar, why not go all out and rename yourself Penny Star? It's just as accurate.

I can just imagine a Dollar Star consumer going to a legitimate dollar store somewhere in Delaware or West Virginia and being absolutely blown away. Such is the power of MAS.


  1. I think you are missing the point. There's nothing in that store that's worth more than a dollar, not that costs more than a dollar.

    The items you highlight make this point perfectly.

    When I lived in Mt. Pleasant, I went there exactly once. I think to find some kitchen gadget I really needed. It might have cost a dollar but broke before I finished cooking the meal. Never went back. I will not mourn their imminent demise at the hands of Target.

  2. i've seen you in that saucy shirt before! all it's missing is bedazzler jewels.

  3. The problem is not that the items cost more but that the dollar is worth less. Everything in the store is imported from places with stronger currencies.

  4. that shirt is awesome

  5. AnonymousMay 13, 2008

    Meeeeeeeowww! That's one hot kitty shirt.

  6. All the lead-tainted Chinese merchandise you can shake a stick at.....for a dollar.....or more....y mas.

  7. AnonymousMay 14, 2008

    Wow. That's a great towel. I'm going to have that designed stenciled onto the back of my pickup, to show that I'm a real 'Merican.

  8. I suppose someone needs to explain the finer points of the dollar store concept to them. They may as well said a penny and brought more customers in to rip off.