6.02.2008

Killed a What Now?

My friends and I were sitting on the back of the H4 when a crazy person engaged us in conversation.

"You're all so young. I became an old man the first day I was in Vietnam. The first person I killed was a baby."

Seriously, what's the best response to this? We were all rendered speechless.

Suggestions in the comments are encouraged.

16 comments:

  1. AnonymousJune 02, 2008

    I think all you can really do in that situation is offer a solemn high five.

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  2. I would have said..

    Me too. I had an abortion at 14.

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  3. I would have said..

    Me too. I had an abortion at 14.

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  4. there are a whole bunch of fat bastard/austin powers lines you could have used in that situation. baby, it's what's for dinner!

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  5. AnonymousJune 02, 2008

    Charlie in the trees!!
    Charlie in the trees!!

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  6. My favorite crazy-person-on-a-bus story was when I was on the D6 (hated living on that line) with a male friend and some crazy guy advised him to drink lots of water, because ladies love a hydrated man.

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  7. AnonymousJune 02, 2008

    Rusty is a douche? ....

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  8. I have a patented fake-smile-and-eyes-on-the-ground move that I reserve for the crazies.

    Last summer I watched a homeless guy beg every person who walked by to give him a water on a blistering day in Chinatown. I excused myself and bought him a bottled water...a tragic mistake, as he then thought he was my friend, and followed my boyfriend and me as we walked around, in and out of stores...for an hour. Jesus God.

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  9. Georgetown Prep AlumJune 02, 2008

    I would have said..

    Me too. I had an abortion at 14.


    Really?

    Was the baby daddy a white guy?

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  10. I would have gone with silence too.

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  11. Response:

    "You may have slayed a baby, but I'm going to slay the Fender at the Guitar Hero tournament at Middle C Music in Tenleytown on June 7th. BE THERE OLD MAN."

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  12. Middle C said I was the only adult to register so far. So, uh, if you're over 18, please register so I don't end up on Megan's List.

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  13. AnonymousJune 03, 2008

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Lai_massacre

    sad, but true. many babies were killed. point blank.

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  14. AnonymousJune 04, 2008

    Que? No habla.

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  15. I met one who said he worked at the White House as an investigator of paranormal events. Apparently they have a problem with ghosts in the fountains and some of the bedrooms?

    I stuck with, "How interesting," And "Mmmhmmm."

    But for me, the hard part about being engaged by the crazies on the bus is the way everyone else openly listens in to the conversation. C'mon. At least pretend my discomfort is not making your day.

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