I am moving to Columbus, Ohio in a month. I'll write a sentimental post sometime in the future. In the meantime: ESSAY CONTEST.Back in January, 2006, I took the reins of this blog from a Mr. James F. by writing a sweet essay about my hatred towards DC. I also included some links to some previous work from my old personal blog and my column at the American University newspaper.
(If you're interested, follow the link and click around to find a photo of me and some of my very early writing. My bi-weekly column started in September, 2004 and went weekly in 2005. It's not that great. Give me a break, I was in college. It was called The Rusty Nail. If you're so inclined, happy reading.)
So, if you want to take the reins of Why I Hate DC, send an essay and some writing samples (not required) to whyihatedc@gmail.com by July 6 at noon. And, yes, I am going to be an asshole about the due date. If you can't get shit done on time, then you can't blog.
The original essay contest rules are here and they still apply (except for the due date of course).
Good luck, ya'll. In the meantime, you still get another month of Rusty. My condolences.
(Image courtesy of the wonderful Columbus-area resident Natalie Dee.)
Meh, no one's worried about who's picking up this blog.
ReplyDeleteThe operative question is, when does why.i.hate.columbus.blogspot.com go up?
Anyways, congrats I guess. I'm fleeing as well, San Diego-bound.
Lester is a douche!
ReplyDeleteMuahahahahahahahahaha! You think you hate DC? You're gonna love Columbus. Such a cosmopolitan place. Such lovely,
ReplyDeleteopen-minded people...
Congrats!
ReplyDeleteThis gives me hope that maybe I can get out too.
6 plus years of hard time.
Although I dont think Columbus would be my first choice to go to.
Find someone bitter and with a digital camera!
I fortunately escaped DC 3 weeks ago myself but have continued to read your blog to validate my decision to leave. Your anger will be missed!
ReplyDeleteenjoy never seeing the sun from october to april, the wind sweeping across the ohio flatlands, and strip malls and arby's as far as the eye can see.
ReplyDeletei spent 22 years in ohio, its a hole you should escape from, not willingly go into.
Um, could people stop telling him how bad it is? I don't want him to change his mind.
ReplyDeleteWHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO OHIO? GOOD GOD. COLUMBUS, OHIO? WOW, HAVE FUN
ReplyDeleteDC will get better once all the fucks like Rusty will be gone, we should of all demanded this years ago! Down with Rusty! We Miss James. Down with Rusty
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Ohio is a huge step backwards, but whatever fits your groove man. Good luck in the middle of nowhere. Miss ya Rusty!
ReplyDeleteI had moved to DC from Columbus. Columbus is the test-market center of the United States. Everything there is average- except for the stuff that is mediocre. In all seriousness, while I didn't like it all that much at the time, in retrospect, Columbus isn't all that bad. The cost of living is super cheap, some of the people are nice, they are some decent restaurants, and the miles of chain stores are endless.
ReplyDeleteRusty sucks...
ReplyDeleteCongrats on getting out. If you're really leaving. Personally I think this is all an elaborate hoax to lull your slim hispanic assailant into a false sense of security before you STRIKE!
ReplyDeleteWow, the DC pretentiousness is in full swing in these comments.
ReplyDeleteYou will be missed, my friend.
ReplyDeleteOMG. Ohio is DEFINITELY worse than Pennsyltuckey! That is what you get. It might even be worse than DC!
ReplyDeleteHA HA HA HA!
For those sunless months, they have a "Brewery District," which actually seems charming. I'd move to that fancy schmancy $350/month neighborhood and avoid ever wandering beyond it.
ReplyDeleteAgatha - The Brewery District is actually more residential now than it used to be. The Short North's where it's at now. Good art galleries, good restaurants, great bars, good retail.
ReplyDeleteGerman Village is a great place to be, too. I would almost be tempted to move back there if you could land me a brick townhome overlooking Schiller Park.
I HATE YOU RUSTY
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ReplyDeleteI nominate HRH King Friday XIII to head this blog. Also, anyone who takes the reins must mock and use as much profanity and sarcasm as possible. The profanity and especially the sarcasm have been missing since James F. left.
ReplyDeleteI thought we all assumed Rusty is Gay ... how on earth does he have a girlfriend. Rusty must not be allowed to have casual sex with a real name like Lester
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your new opportunity in Columbus- I always enjoyed reading your blog. You will be missed!
ReplyDeleteSomeone I despise lives in Columbus, and while I should be content knowing they have to live their pitiful life in flyover land, I wonder if you would be kind enough to throw acid in their face for me? Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI second the nomination for King Friday XIII.
ReplyDeleteCongrats, Rusty.
Ruster, what the fuck are you doing in Columbus, and where the fuck did you get the name Lester? Grief, Columbus fucking Ohio. Have a blast.
ReplyDeleteWell I, for one, am kinda jealous. Living in Columbus will put you much closer to the WORLD'S LONGEST YARD SALE (www.127sale.com)
ReplyDeleteI see that Columbus is about three hours away from Defiance, the northernmost point, but it's only an hour and a half from other points on the yard sale map (Eaton, Cincinnati).
Oh wow, this is getting me all worked up. Please please please go to this thing. I want to live vicariously.
Dear God, Columbus? I lived in Ohio for four years, and while the Midwest has its benefits (jello salad, Wisconsin cheese, and the OSU Buckeyes), I have to say, its pitfalls far outweigh its merits. Think homespun Michael's crafts-style sweatshirts worn by the masses, Camaros blaring the music of Journey & Rush, fat people ad nauseum, and blisteringly cold winters in flat ugly grey terrain. Have Fun!
ReplyDeleteGosh now maybe we'll get a new post more than once every 3 weeks.
ReplyDeleteJust give it to HRH King Friday XIII and be done with it.
Wait, there are more Arby's in Columbus? Now I understand the appeal.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, Columbus is Charlotte. These middle of the state cities can grow and expand outwards forever without geographic limitations. They're all the same.
If you're looking for wife, house, dog and kids, you're definitely going to the right place. If you're looking for strange, hazy nights and bloodshot Tuesday mornings, you had better go a little further west to Chicago.
Columbus? Your anti-mugging defense skills will come in quite handy.
ReplyDeleteBut, on the flip side, their subway never derails.
"Columbus? Your anti-mugging defense skills will come in quite handy."
ReplyDeleteYou're kidding, right? Compared to D.C., Columbus's crime is miniscule.
Please let the next blogger not be a douche ....
ReplyDeleteLove to read your comments. Hope you enjoy Ohio.
ReplyDeleteGood luck man! I vote for King Friday as well. People do not name themselves, it's not your fault you are named Lester. Poor bastard... I hope you are at LEAST named after some beloved dead relative.
ReplyDeleteWow...Ohio? That place sucks worse than where I"m from. Why would you willingly go to that hell hole?
ReplyDeleteLooks like "Bad girl" had a subpar experience with a "Bad Guy" in Columbus.
ReplyDeleteBad Girl, methinks thou dost protest too much.
Sunless? It's like .2 degrees of latitude north of DC. You are all idiots.
ReplyDeleteI looked it up. 1.03 degrees of latitude north of DC. Idiots.
ReplyDeleteCasual sex is great ....
ReplyDeleteYou are so lucky to leave this miserable place! Hopefully I'll be back in CA by the end of the summer. The worst thing about Washington is the people! Never have I met such smug, rude, disingenuous, uncreative, bland, socially retarded people.
ReplyDeleteI'm in the middle of the worst of DC as I work for the FDA with the corrupt officials at the Headquarters and I live in Dupont Circle with all the stuck up faggots.
Anyone left in this shit hole can just rot with the rats!
anonymous guy (right above this posting):
ReplyDeleteI was going to suggest you submit an essay to take over the blog. Your hatred is strong. But then you had to ruin it with the "faggot" comment.
Bummer.......
How much does MA suck if you'll leave D.C. for Ohio rather than go back home??
ReplyDeleteWow, Rusty. Boston sucks and all, but you don't have to rub Whitey Bulger's nose in it.
yay for the toothepastefordinner reference
ReplyDeleteHeads up - for a great time in Columbus... be sure to hit the "Shadowbox Cabaret" at the Easton Town Center Mall... it makes for a WONDERFUL Friday night out.
ReplyDeleteWow. I lived in cowtown for ten years and the little hamster in my brain had to spin his wheel like ten seconds before I could remember what Easton was. Rusty, you might be interested to know that Columbus now has Google Street view. DC? Not so much.
ReplyDeleteRusty,
ReplyDeleteGood bye and good luck. I for one will miss reading your blog on my cell phone on my daily reverse Metro commute from Tenleytown to Rockville. Hope you beat all the kids in that Guitar Hero tournament.
-DoT
Oh wow. I almost moved to Cleveland last week, but couldn't do it. Ohio is gray 9 months out of the year, I don't care how far north it is from D.C. and that other guy was so right - fat people for miles. And strip malls like Fairfax and Rockville.
ReplyDeleteGood luck and have fun getting fat. I agree that Boston would have been a better choice if you're going to pick a cold place.
DIE RUSTY DIE
ReplyDeleteI have lived in D.C. and Ohio...Ohio is worse....much worse...In fact the only thing I liked about DC was that it wasn't Ohio....you should reconsider.
ReplyDelete