Bitch set me up, again

Over the weekend, former mayor and current Councilmember Marion "I voted for gay marriage before I voted against it" Barry was arrested by the U.S. Park Police. He was charged with stalking Donna Watts-Brighthaupt after a traffic stop in Anacostia Park.

Sunday was a busy news day, with a Barry press conference, which lashed out at the 'accuser,' making her out to be mentally unstable. Barry's spokesperson stopped short of explicitly saying "bitch set him up," but that was the general sentiment. Watts-Brighthaupt was the woman Barry purchased an expensive fur coat for at a fundraiser in April.

I have to give kudos to City Paper's Mike DeBonis for being all over this on a holiday weekend. WCP doesn't pay you enough, I'm sure. The latest news is DeBonis's interview with Watts.

After sifting through all of this nonsense, it appears that Barry and Watts are "sort of" dating. They "officially" dated for about six months, from late last year until early this year. The "relationship" included a trip to the DNC in Denver.

On Saturday, Watts was attending a screening of a CNN program at the Wilson Building. She attended with her children and her ex-husband. When Barry learned that the ex-husband would be present, he sent a memo demanding he be banned from the Wilson Building. Watts claims he was removed from the building and that she was embarrassed. This led to WAIT A MINUTE WHAT THE FUCK I DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT THIS.

Yeah, that's right. I'm not even going to go through the rest of this ridiculous narrative. Yeah, I get it, he's a former mayor of DC. He was mayor when this city had absolutely no idea how to govern itself (it still doesn't), and he was caught on tape smoking crack. Yeah, we all know that part. Then he was elected again after going to prison. He failed to pay income tax, he was arrested on drug charges (later dismissed, you know, because the Park Police is "out to get him"), and he is on probation now. He's also collecting around $100k each year to serve as "Councilmember" for Ward 8.

Well you know what, I don't live in Ward 8, and I didn't live here when Barry was mayor. Here's the part where I'm going to give "props" to all of the change that has happened in DC since 1999. Just for a minute I'll stop hating all of the self-important assholes who move here and bitch and moan about things that aren't a big deal. You know why? Because as much as I hate all you gastro-pub loving, North Face wearing, funemployment douches, at least you wouldn't vote for Marion Barry.

So, all you hiptard, gentrifying asshats, here's a memo: Anacostia is the next Petworth, please move there and recall this idiot. Otherwise can we just blow up the damn bridge and "retrocede" Ward 8 to Prince George's County and call this a day.

This is beyond embarrassing. This makes Mark Sanford look like Jimmy Carter and Wasilla, AK look like Shangra-fuckin'-La.

Enough is enough. It's sad that a man who showed so much promise for the District of Columbia, a man who was a part of the civil rights movement, has become such a nationwide spectacle.


  1. AnonymousJuly 06, 2009

    Suddenly, this blog has become great again.

  2. It realy is the winning formula here. You take an easy target like Marion Barry (or Metro sucks) and then add what is called "snark."

    You come off like a young white man who is neither too conservitive nor liberal and you criticize "douchebags." Also, you convince your nubile audience that you are NOT something that is a "hiptard." Not sure exactly what a hiptard is but I know I wouldn't want to be counted amongst them in the Census. Definitely non-Hispanic, non-Hiptard American.

  3. works alot better than the formula of being a psychotic unemployed idiot who still comments on a blog he claims to have no interest in. how's that working out for you?

  4. If (when) Barry runs for mayor against Adrian Fenty, I will totally vote for him.

    They're both corrupt assholes who only look out for #1, do whatever the hell they want on the taxpayers' dime, blatantly violate the law and laugh when called out on it, and appoint all their buddies to important posts within the government. Well, posts that would be important, if our government actually functioned in any capacity other than the aggrandizement of the mayor.

    At least Barry doesn't pretend to be anything else, and he's great fodder for the press. Maybe the Post will actually write about local politics again should Barry become mayor. WTOP seems to be the only legitimate (e.g., with paid reporters) news source in this town that actually cares that Fenty is, basically, Marion Barry all over again, minus the crack and prostitutes.

    It was a lot more fun with the crack and prostitutes.

  5. sad but true.

    the one comment i keep seeing over and over again on 'national' web sites, is "this is the reason dc does not deserve voting rights."

    obviously this is a terrible argument, that someone doesn't deserve to vote because you don't like what they choose... but still.

  6. Anonymous comments tuned off?


  7. Did anyone actually listen to the statment the spokesperson gave? That wasn't english. You would think a person with the title, spokesperson, would be fully literate in the language.

    I think its a pretty damming indictment of the constituency that keeps relecting this man as their represenative.

  8. Ahhhh...DC's favorite pastime, employing the unemployable and electing the unelectable.

  9. Where is 'Marrio The Black Guy' in all of this? Surely he has an opinion on the matter, considering that he 'lives in SW' and all...

    Maybe he's too busy wearing his brown flip flops and his ball cap with the pre-curved brim over in Arlington.