12.13.2007

Work Annoyances

Without being too specific, let me tell you a little about the building where my office is. One notable feature is that it has stairs.

That's right, folks. Stairs!

So I'd like to send a warm holiday message to all of the assholes who use the elevators to travel one fucking floor:

FUCK YOU, YOU LAZY SHITS. EVERY TIME ONE OF YOU PULLS THESE SHENANIGANS IT COSTS ME 20 SECONDS OF MY PRECIOUS LIFE. 20 SECONDS I COULD BE SPENDING BLOGGING.

It's not like these people are in bad health or anything. They're just lazy assholes.

And I know that this isn't DC related or anything, but these people need to be stopped at all costs. I hope next time a group of these fuckers make their little one floor sojourn that the building sets on fire and they get stuck. There'll be less human traffic when I run down the stairs to safety. No one will miss them.

OK. Rant off.

Let's finish with something a little more hopeful. I voted for Anacostia today. Did you?

14 comments:

  1. I'm do that all the time. Too bad. I ran five miles this morning and I'm tired now, so fuck off while I ride the elevator one floor.

    Besides, aren't you supposed to be bitching about the Metro fare increase today?

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  2. My building also has stairs, but they're locked from the outside. People are prevented from going up, but you can exit going down...for emergency purposes, I suppose. And actually, if I wanted to walk down to the 2nd floor from my office on the 3rd, I couldn't because the doors only open in towards the stairwell and to the outside on the ground floor.

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  3. Why, have you tried yoga. My wife have been doing it for years. Yoga will relax you? FREDTERP

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  4. they used to do this all the time in my old apartment building, but for their sake, the stairs were hidden behind doors that only really opened from the way out of the stairwell. i dont really know why people feel like they have to hide stairs all the time.

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  5. some people have "invisible" diabilities like rheumatoid arthritis that would make the stairs, even one flight of them, damn near impossible to climb. i'm not saying everyone in your building does...obvs some people are being lazy...but keep in mind that just because a person appears to have a normally functioning body doesn't necessarily mean they do.

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  6. To be fair, I once worked in a building where the stairs were locked from the outside. So when people wanted to get to the second floor, they had to take the elevator.

    Same for my building actually.

    But!

    That isn't the case from the second floor on. Some firm takes up a bunch of floors and they use the elevators to go from 4 to 5 and so on. And they very have the option of stairs.

    They're being lazy. Or they all have arthritis.

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  7. What pisses me off even more is when people take the elevator DOWN one floor.

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  8. rusty -- if your building is like mine, there's a door in the stairway (between the 1st and 2nd floors) that only opens for people coming down. so those of us on the 2nd floor have to take the elevator to go up. may not apply in your case, but it's a possibility. otherwise, totally right-on rant.

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  9. people in my dorm make snarky comments if you take the elevator for anything less than three floors. i've seen people that i know live on one floor get off at the one below and take the stairs because other people were already getting off at the lower one and they don't want the elevator to have to stop twice so close. ...which is getting a bit ridiculous i think

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  10. I also hate this. Have you been to Pentagon City Mall recently? Do you know who's waiting for that damn elevator? Four fat people and six teenagers, me on the first floor with my stroller. DC has an epidemic of lazy, overweight people, all waiting for elevators, because the escalator/stairs are too much work.

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  11. Dude, I'm with you w/the elevator thing, esp. the ones who go one floor down. Same folks who say they're on a diet then stuff their faces w/the xmas treats @the reception desk. Douche bags.

    But something happened that could cause me to re-evaluate: yesterday someone took a big steamy shit in a stairwell @the building where I work. I'm not kidding, there was a giant log w/ TP (or kleenex?) next to it. Too big to say a dog did it. It was around 2 in the afternoon, so it would have been possible for the motherfucker to get caught. If that happens again I'm taking the elevator, fuck it.

    I swear - DC is a fucking third world country!

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  12. I usually feel like "yeah that's why you have a fat ass"

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  13. It always seems to be the very people who could most use the exercise are the ones taking the elevator up or down one floor (ironically the worst case at my place is people taking it down one to stuff their faces at our convenience store...).

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  14. I find it a bit amusing when I see people take the elevator one floor DOWN to get to the gym and they are already in workout clothes!

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