5.09.2008

WJLA is the Turd in the Punch Bowl

Whenever my friends and I watch a 10pm episode of LOST, we usually stick around for another half hour talking crazy-ass theories (OMG, I think Claire is a ghost!). That means we're talking over WJLA's newscast.

Yesterday, we were in the middle of discussing what exactly Jacob wanted Locke to do when WJLA did a feature on Grand Theft Auto IV and how it will make your kids fuck prostitutes, kill police officers, and drive drunk.

Watch it here in all of its alarmist glory. Bonus points to WJLA for their "Embed Video" being broken. Sorry, guys. You need to click through.

These "journalists" all worked very hard to make it to this point. The point in their career where they can scare the dickens out of parents by using the ghost of a dead 18-year-old and the doughy specter of a 15-year-old glued to the couch.

Not mentioned is that every one needs to show ID to get the game. I'm 25 and I got carded. I haven't been carded for beer in years. So, WJLA, when you're talking to those scared parents, why not throw that in their faces. The story isn't that kids are playing an awesome game that has a shit ton of sex and violence. The story is that these moron parents bought their kids something that is clearly labeled as inappropriate for gamers under 17 without even doing a Google search. And now they're going to play Indian giver with the game in order to act like good parents.

That 15-year-old kid made a crucial mistake. If someone at a local news station asks you to consent to an interview while you're playing video games, the answer should always be "no." They are going to use you for evil.

13 comments:

  1. It was really gay of you to use the term "indian giver" -- especially as a dude who won't even spell out Redskins.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah really Rusty, are you some kind of gypsy?

    Unrelatedly, I nearly got into a fight on the way to work this morning about whether Claire is a ghost or a zombie.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousMay 09, 2008

    I was JUST finishing my post on the exact same thing when my friend forwarded me your blog link.

    Besides-how hypocritical is it to chastize a game you have to go out of your way to buy and is clearly marked "M for Mature" only to put some of the worst parts of the game up after "we are going to show you some nasty stuff in about...3 seconds" fake disclaimer.

    I'm going through some other web sites that have done similar fluff-bullshit stories. So annoying.

    Oh and Claire looked kinda stoned, didn't she?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'd like to see one of those kids try to carjack me. I grew up playing Mortal Combat! That automatically makes me a 28 year old who knows how to fight to the death and decapitate the loser with my bare hands.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousMay 09, 2008

    Hey "duh",

    Good catch!!!!! Geez, Rusty is quite the hypocrite, now isn't he? Come on, Rusty. Let's hear your lame ass fucking excuse. I'm sure it will rank right up there with when you repeatedly denied that gays are at higher risk of spreading and contracting HIV than straights.

    He actually blocked his comments from anonymous posters because someone posted "redskins" over and over. Now he uses "indian giver". Way to go Rusty, you idiotic dickdrip.

    ReplyDelete
  6. "Redskin" is a clearly perjorative term used by people to mock American Indians. "Indian giver" is most likely not perjorative. It is an expression so widely used that it's been accepted into popular culture as acceptable.

    Anonymous, someone posted "redskins" thousands of times. It made the comments unreadable. But the real reason I banned anymous comments was because someone started dropping "n-bombs."

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousMay 09, 2008

    Rusty is a douche ....

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousMay 10, 2008

    Wow, anon has no life, no balls and no brains

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm not even Indian and think "Indian Giver" is kind of offensive. and I just called Native aMerCans Indians...

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm with those who think "Indian giver" is offensive.
    Also, since when does common usage make something not offensive? That's just a ridiculous argument, even if you were right. Another ridiculous argument is that it's not pejorative. You were using it pejoratively.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousMay 13, 2008

    It's amazing how dumb and clueless parents have gotten. What happened to talking to your kids?

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousMay 16, 2008

    Typical of Rusty. Can you say DOUBLE FUCKING STANDARD???

    Holy crap you are an idiot. Is it really that difficult to say "Yeah, I guess I shouldn't have used that term".

    So how is it to never be wrong, Rusty? I really envy you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous said...
    anon above, here is M@sshole's response;

    Wednesday, March 04, 2009
    Update
    Just some "housekeeping" announcements today, folks.

    1. I'm going to try to take a couple of days off from the Internet, as I'm becoming a bit of an obsessive crackpot with the blogging and social media. I need to detoxify a bit, I think.

    2. There has been some confusion regarding my reference to a dalliance with a married woman. I don't know what to say but that it was a different married woman.

    3. No longer will I be publishing or even reading anonymous hate mail. That's an automatic delete from this day forward.

    4. Also, I won't allow myself any longer to be baited into making (overtly) racist comments. (I have three African Americans and a half-Asian as Facebook friends.)

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    Luv the way the little bitch named 'm@' is "taking a few days off from the internet.'

    'cept when it comes to this blog of course. Satan's tail, I can't wait until that bitch moves back to mississippi.

    March 05, 2009
    Stanley said...
    lookin' a little tubby there, mattie. but hey, it goes with the receding hairline.

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    Oh, there's a bitch from Howard University who needs to get fucked.... I'll do that.

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    "I have three African Americans and a half-Asian as Facebook friends."

    In other words; Facebook = Reality.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    What's the grad. rate there? 30%?

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    Goodbye, nigger.

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    Bub bye! Have fun being black.

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    I got a big white cock for ya, babe. :)

    9:42 PM

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    Re: Howard University. Duh on the DSL. I used that to bait you. You told me you work at Howard.

    Got a boyfriend there? LOL

    9:44 PM

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    Yeah, I think we should just have sex. I like black chicks.

    9:46 PM

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    no, i was doing that too. i used three different services.

    9:49 PM

    M@ said...
    what are you? a receptionist? I know damn well you're not a doctor there. LOL.

    9:50 PM

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    u know u want it.

    9:53 PM

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    I can handle you.... and unlike black guys, i go down... ;)

    9:52 PM

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    You WISH, girlfriend. Hey, do you have gmail? This would be much easier if I could just call you or chat.

    Are you OK? You seem obsessed with me. IT's unhealthy. I worry about you....

    9:56 PM

    M@ said...
    Look, if you have some serious points to make, I will listen to you. If you want to talk. I'm sorry about your troubles. Have a good night.

    9:57 PM

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    Yeah, what happened to you?

    9:58 PM

    M@ said...
    What happened to you, dude?

    9:58 PM

    March 05, 2009

    ReplyDelete