We Still Have LSS to Kick Around

After finally reading the writing on the wall, dead journalist walking Laura Sessions Stepp took the Washington Post's buyout offer. The long national nightmare was finally over.

Or was it?

A quick gander at today's Health section led me to a brand new Laura Sessions Stepp article. In typical LSS fashion, the story was about something that most alarmist news outlets had covered back in the 20th Century.

Freak dancing.

Oh for Pete's sake.

Stepp even admits to writing about freak dancing back when in 2001. So, why is it suddenly newsworthy? Because Dancing with the Stars is teaching young women (with preteen girls being specified) that there are different ways to dance sexy while still maintaining an air of mystery.

This is stupid. You know how it takes two to tango? Preteen girls can learn to tango all they want. They'll need a partner who needs to know how to dance as well. And I'm going to hypothesize that not too many preteen boys are that interested in learning how to tango or waltz.

The worst part is that Stepp is advocating physical education programs that teach "acceptably sexy" kinds of dancing (like swing). Swing dancing is acceptable. But teaching kids how to do the Electric Slide in step with "popular hip-hop songs" is not. The Electric Slide solves nothing. Isn't the point that kids want to dance with a specific partner and not a room full of people?

Actually, who cares what the point is. It's the Electric Fucking Slide. Why doesn't LSS go the whole nine yards and suggest the Macarena as a way for kids to rhythmically express themselves? No one should be doing The Electric Slide. Ever.


  1. I don't think the buyout is effective until the end of the year. So you've got nearly seven more months of grapin' and lipstick partyin' and collar poppin' to go. Rock on.

  2. And those preteen boys who DO know how to dance... well, LSS, you don't have to worry about them.

  3. AnonymousJune 03, 2008

    I heard on Tony Kornheiser's radio show (he took the buyout too) that even though they no longer work for the post, they could still be hired to do regular writing on a contract basis.



  4. AnonymousJune 03, 2008

    Tony Korndoucher needs to take a buyout and move to Mars. Wilbon too. Their schtick became old in about 1934. Time to move on douche-knocks.

  5. i am a strong supporter of the electic slide at weddings and bar mitzvahs everywhere.

  6. AnonymousJune 04, 2008

    Cupid Shuffle anyone?

  7. I was taught line dancing & square dancing when I was in elementary & middle school. Like the electric slide, it took a long time to learn, it accomplished nothing and several special ed students went home crying.

  8. AnonymousJune 09, 2008

    I too suffered through the endless mortification that was sixth-grade square-dancin'. I guess they gotta teach kids not to be terrified of the opposite sex eventually, so they ascribe to the "pitch 'em in the lake" method?

  9. AnonymousJune 28, 2008