10.23.2008

Where's My Bourbon!

You know what I hate about DC? The weed here sucks. You'd think given the crime ridden reputation of this city that the quality/price/quantity ratio would be decent, right? But no, it's not, and you wind up having to drive allllll they way to suburb-tastic Annandale which VDOT never makes easy.

Unless your hookup lives in, say, Anacostia or certain parts of NE, you're smoking yuppie swag.

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So there you go, folks. A post. The blog lives.

I'm sure you have lots of questions. Hell, I have lots of questions. What's up with Rusty? Who's running the blog?

I miss Rusty too. He's a cool cat, smart, and we all loved him or at least loved to hate him which is really just another form of love. I haven't spoken to him directly. I only know he's alive because he sent me a blogger invite. In Why I Hate DC land, Rusty's like an omnipresent unseen Christ figure, constantly watching us from above and acting in mysterious ways. We shouldn't question HIS plan, but instead have faith and pray that he may return to us one day. There you go Russ. I just equated you to Jesus, you bastard.

As for Shiva the Destroyer (aka Liz)? I haven't the foggiest bottom. For now we'll have to accept that Liz is basically like Dr. Beverly Crusher in season two of Star Trek the Next Generation. For those of you who grew up watching 90210 or some other myopic teenage shit-drama, Dr. Crusher was the Enterprise's chief medical officer and the mother of the ship's sixteen-year-old helmsman, Wesley Crusher. Without any warning, explanation, or plot development, she disappeared from the show inexplicably abandoning her fatherless teenage son, Wesley, leaving him to fly the ship and be raised by Klingons. So that's where we're at. I'm Wesley.

(Try to guess whether or not I have a life.)

Look, what I'm trying to say is we'll play this banjo by ear. I know some of you submitted essays and wanted to contribute to the blog in a group setting and perhaps that's where we'll go. Stay tuned.

26 comments:

  1. I've actually had weed shipped to me from out of state. I feel your pain.

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  2. AWESOME! My wish has been granted!

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  3. Glad to see that the blog lives! Welcome.

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  4. This is great!

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  5. "Rusty was a cool, smart cat"

    Rusty was a hypocritical, suburban douchebag. He lived in fear in the whitest part of DC and did nothing other than complain about crime and Metro. That is, until he moved to Columbus, a city with no subway system at all and crime on par with DC. I don't miss that whiny dumb fuck at all.

    Man that felt good... I'm so glad we have a new whipping boy! Looking forward to hearing your gripes, if you can tear yourself away from reruns of Stargate SG1 and fake porn of Jeri Ryan long enough to post again.

    Welcome to the helm blog everyone loves to hate!! Glad it's afloat again, and hope you can live up to Rusty's standards of douchebaggery.

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  6. Heck yeah. I think you'll be better here than you were on your own blog, King Friday.

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  7. Yaaay. Finally someone worth subscribing to.

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  8. "What's up with Rusty? Who's running the blog? "

    You are.

    <3

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  9. "What's up with Rusty? Who's ruining the blog? "

    You are. Drug humor? Get real.

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  10. Post your essay!

    I hope it has lots of Star Trek references too.

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  11. Oh my god, you likened yourself to Wesley Crusher. I think I'm in love. Can we do Monty Python quotes too? I'm not being sarcastic. Seriously.

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  12. trust me going all the way to anacostia for some weed is no walk in the park (except if the park is the gates of hell)even if you do get weed and you live in an apartment full of nosey douche bags there's no where to smoke it, everybody seems to be on sum weird steez. Don't fuck up my high King, I'll be watching....

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  13. FUCK YOU RUSTY ... LIVE TO HATE DON't HATE TO LIVE

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  14. "the foggiest bottom."

    El-oh-el. Man knows how to turn a phrase. Rusty can't even wipe his ass.

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  15. That was the first "oh man ain't that the truth" moment I've had reading this blog since Rusty left. ALL HAIL THE KING!

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  16. LMAO. While I don't partake myself, I happen to know that this, my friend, is quite true. And well-said. Yay for WhyIHateDC!

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  17. If you can't find good weed you're not looking hard enough.

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  18. Least sucky post on this site, ever.

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  19. Seriously. Sure ain't in Oregon anymore.

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  20. happytrekkieOctober 24, 2008

    Ah sweet relief. Didnt Dr. Crusher leave us with that funky Dr Pulaski cause she got promoted to head Star Fleet Medical?

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  21. heck yes to geek references

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  22. Oh thank GOD! I was having a hard time surviving without my why.i.hate.dc

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  23. Are you going to abondon this blog like you did your own? By the way, I loved your King Friday blog.

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  24. LONG LIVE THE KING!

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  25. DC's got great weed man. It's always in who you know. And where you go. You know that shit doesn't just fall into your lap.

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  26. you are certified D.C haters.:)

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