5.04.2009

At Borders, There Is No Oral Sex



Image: As a surprise moderate, Justice Souter was also known for hating Washington.


Question: What do Malcolm Gladwell, George W. Bush and Justice David H. Souter all have in common?

Some months ago, a commentator here observed that an affinity for the work of Gladwell, a former science writer for The Washington Post, marks the mind of the pseudo-intellectual. Indeed, the best-selling author explains surprising and unseen patterns of the world in the wonderfully accessible style of Steven Levitt, whose Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything (2005) also reached popularity among the moderately bright and unbearably pretentious. With aplomb, Levitt could explain the underlying mechanics of chaos theory to a retard. Gladwell could teach a monkey to drive.

Looking for some mind candy to read on spot, I peruse the bookstore this weekend to pass a rainy day without lacing my coffee with whiskey and making a tour of the Orange Line corridor Irish pubs. Ever so helpful, the salesgirls wish not only to sell and up-sell but to discuss. For one unattractive but enthusiastic young woman, there is no better way to digest Malcolm Gladwell than to listen to his prose in spoken-word form. If I could, I would pee on her. For one pretty young redhead, however, there is a right way and a wrong way to appreciate Malcolm Gladwell. Which of his earlier works do I appreciate the most?

The woman brushes her hair behind her ear and smiles in a way that cannot be misunderstood. Were I to buy two copies of Outliers: The Story of Success (2008)—one for me and one to donate to the public library—she would blow me. It’s been several years since I read The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make A Big Difference (2000) but Blink (2005) seems too likely an answer, the former mathematical and more theoretical and the latter practical and insightful, a window into our animal minds.

I blink. The Tipping Point proves to be the wrong answer and there would be no oral sex—which brings me to George W. Bush, the 43rd president of the United States. There was no president in recent history so much a product of intellectualism and East Coast privilege but also none that rebelled so much against the label, restyling himself as a moron from Texas with a proclivity for simple speech and a penchant for brush-clearing. The son of a one-term president and grandson of a U.S. senator, Bush mimicked his brother, himself a U.S. governor, to brand the Bush men as—if not outliers—the ultimate Washington outsiders, no denizens of the District, no products of privilege.

Bush hated Washington so much he spent entire months in office on vacation, working at the Crawford, Texas, ranch he referred to as the “Western White House”—which brings me now to Justice Souter, the 105th justice of the United States Supreme Court, a Yankee from New Hampshire who professed to have “the world’s best job in the world’s worst city.” As the Post reminds us, the surprise liberal on the court, nominated by the elder Bush, proved to be no liberal but a dying political phenomenon in this country—the moderate New England republican. He spent his summers haunting the White Mountains of his beloved home state.

The more perspicacious reader now wonders how Gladwell, Bush and Souter share a connection. We understand that things connect to other things in unseen patterns, the entire globe itself one system in a system of systems. We understand chaos theory, the idea that a butterfly flapping its wings in northern Virginia—within a deterministic system—causes a traffic accident in Southwest D.C. or a rape in Silver Spring, Md. But what do these three men all share in common?

330 comments:

  1. I'm asking you a question.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I just took a shit. But I'm cute!

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  3. AnonymousMay 04, 2009

    They all scarf up cheap cuts of fatty beef and chase it with two pints of Safeway brand ice cream and a twelve pack of Bud each and every night. They do this while sitting on their asses in front of the "telly" while remarking about how all the assholes that appear on TV are "successful" and "important". Then they head off to 'bed'; which is really just code for buggering their progeny.

    They do this night after night, year after year, decade after decade before their fatty, sedentary ways catch up with them and they require quadruple bypass surgery. Then their buggered progeny blog about it all.

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  4. AnonymousMay 04, 2009

    Seriously: Move to Arkansas. You will be happy.

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  5. AnonymousMay 04, 2009

    Seriously, move yourself to Arkansas. You will be happy.

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  6. Are they sane after all? Smarter than the average denizen of DC? I've only had the pleasure of short trips to DC(accompanied by long sits on the interstate/bypass system.) OH-Arkansas sucks-don't go there.

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  7. Or maybe they didn't get a blow job under a table in DC.

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  8. Which might explain why they hated DC.

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  9. M@ had a Michael Jackson Poster in his roomMay 04, 2009

    I know: Their parents used the so-called "Cola Wars" during the 80's as a proxy for their disdain of one another.

    They then blogged about it, thus revealing to the world true nature of their shallow, materialistic, pop culture-dominated childhoods.

    Then, they became bitter 30-somethings with no prospects for a flourishing romantic relationship, no stable employment, and a day-to-day existence that is wrought with depression and self-loathing. (see the part about blogging the "Cola Wars")

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  10. AnonymousMay 04, 2009

    Arkansas does indeed suck. Which is why Mattie would be so happy there. He could bitch and moan about Arkansas for the rest of his miserable life. (may it be long in spite of the lack of prosperity)

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  11. This blog has become one big pile of suck. Is anyone still reading M@'s shit?

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  12. AnonymousMay 04, 2009

    Hey M@

    Check out this Craigslist ad

    Dude is selling his 51" television because he had to move back in with his parents.

    http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/ele/1154680195.html

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  13. are you guys really hating M@'s guts or are you using the classical preschool strategy and are you secretly in love with him?

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  14. If the anon cowards, too ashamed to use their own non-identities, must pretend to be me, do spell my name right.

    Cheers and so good to see that anonymous comments are still allowed here.

    Comment whoring anyone?

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    Daneil Hofrman-Grills.

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  16. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    Me like Blink.

    ReplyDelete
  17. M@'s life coachMay 05, 2009

    "are you guys really hating M@'s guts or are you using the classical preschool strategy and are you secretly in love with him?"

    Neither. Simply looking forward to his first blog entry from Austin TX. From there, he can complain about life in that liberal social and political enclave within the larger conservative, death-penalty-advocating state of Texas. As a bonus, he'll be able to make fun of Arkansas and point out how much better he is than anyone who lives in Arkansas.

    Its the perfect set up for him.

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  18. AnonanusMay 05, 2009

    You're welcome, Daneil Horfmunn-Gil. I know how much it means to you.

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  19. You really deserve a badge of honour anusanus!

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  20. In fact, anusanus, I propose that I present you with your well-deserved badge of honor (ahem; "honour"). Allow me to kneel behind you and lick you, anusanus. It is the highest honour I can bestow upon you. I do it for everyone who is my superior.

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  21. I'm no Limey bastard, damn it! But I sure as shit go out of my way to talk (and write) like one!

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  22. Oh dear, without the picture you just can't cut it as me and as has occured ine very thread you've tried to fuck with me in, I end up crushing you.

    Poor chaps. Your wig is slipping, as is your petticoat.

    Need a hand fuck pigs?

    ReplyDelete
  23. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    Sorry to butt in but I don't see anyone superior to Daniel Hoffmann-Gill here, I just see a bunch of anonymous fucking cowards, sucking on the teet of despair as they clutch their rapidly shrinking cocks.

    Yeah?

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  24. I Pretend to be a Somebody but I am infact a NobodyMay 05, 2009

    Yeah but I get to use other people's names because I have no identity of my own, not one I'm proud of anyway.

    I wish my parents loved me.

    *sigh*

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  25. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    We are anonymous.

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  26. Enough of this, when it it sexy time?

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  27. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    Your mum

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  28. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    Anyone seen my class act?

    I'm vacant.

    ReplyDelete
  29. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    Dancing in circles around a mental midget. Good times.

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  30. "Your mum"

    Hilarious!

    Hey, "Bob's your uncle, wink wink!"

    Time for tea and then we'll wait for the Yanks to invent something else that will change our lives yet again. We're so grateful for the Internet as it is, but we want more!

    ReplyDelete
  31. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    This blog is losing coherence. Is coherence even a word? Whatever, I am sure my point is made.

    ReplyDelete
  32. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    This site was once kinda funny and sorta relevant. Now it makes no fucking sense. I'm 10% dumber with every paragraph I read. Goodbye forever mouth-breathers.

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  33. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    "We're so grateful for the Internet as it is, but we want more!"

    You're welcome. You're also welcome for the electrical utilities you are using right now. Hey, I know Tesla was born elsewhere, but he couldn't have accomplished what he did if he had not been living and working in the States.

    Again, you're welcome.

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  34. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    Remember when this blog was kind of interesting and exposed the shenanigans that really went on in this city?

    Now it is just some self-indulgent creative writing dump for some yuppie in Arlington. There is more to DC than just NW and Arlington, in fact, a lot of the the craziest stuff happens outside of those areas.

    Read the DC Metro beats on the Times and Post, there is a ton of hilarious material there. Better yet, look at the Nationals attendance stats.

    Man, I miss Rusty.

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  35. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    (continued)

    I mean, how could you not report and make fun of Harold Brazil, the former DC Council member who apparently wet his pants in a tattoo parlor in Georgetown while being restrained in Georgetown. And this is in Georgetown! You guys need to keep up with the local news better.

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  36. Anonymous AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    I lied about going because I am a cunt.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Your MumMay 05, 2009

    I'm a classic UK insult.

    Cool.

    Your mum.

    ReplyDelete
  38. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    This place is a fucking shambles.

    Ban us anon fucks!

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  39. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    "You guys need to keep up with the local news better."

    Lets define our terms. "You guys" are M@ and Dave.

    Dave is a hiptard who thinks DC Councilmembers make $90K a year, and who also thinks that $90K per year is a lot of money in DC. That alone shows how out of touch with DC he really is.

    M@ is an anachronism. He thinks that DC is stuck in the 80's and he conducts himself accordingly. He's desperate to be relevant, and desperate for attention. Wrap that all up into one snotty, wanna-be package; and you've got nothing.

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  40. Let's define something else: I'm 99.9% sure all of these comments, including the ones from this Daniel asshole, are all M@. All of them. I am pretty confident that in addition to his strange rants and even stranger posts that resemble rape fantasies, he has multiple personality disorder. Or wants to have it. I'm not sure which one is worse.

    Either way, M@ is a cancer on this blog.

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  41. Mike:

    If only the anon ball bags were M@ but they are anon ballbags.

    Cancer is a harsh word but if M@s cancer then you are Pig AIDS.

    Well done on that.

    ReplyDelete
  42. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    What was the name of the other poster who used WIHDC for her own creative musings, with disasterous results? Oh yeah, Liz.

    Matt is Liz reincarnated, this time with a crony named Hoffman-Gill.

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  43. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    "I end up crushing you."

    Thats code for "taking it like a tranny hooker".

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  44. Don't talk about your dead mum that way.

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  45. AnotheranonymousMay 05, 2009

    "Now it is just some self-indulgent creative writing dump for some yuppie in Arlington. There is more to DC than just NW and Arlington, in fact, a lot of the the craziest stuff happens outside of those areas."

    Truer words were never said. Or written.

    ReplyDelete
  46. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    We don't have 'mums' over here, pussy.

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  47. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    Daneil Horfman-Grills,

    My bike was stolen. My other bike is your mum. Guess what I'm riding tonight?

    ReplyDelete
  48. OOPS!

    Don't talk about your dead mom that way you subhuman cunt.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Dan's MomMay 05, 2009

    You can't ride me as I'm dead already but as I know you like fucking dead things, how about intercourse with your own intellect?

    All the breast!

    ReplyDelete
  50. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    We have failed.

    AGAIN!

    ReplyDelete
  51. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    Another sad aspect to all of this: Dan actually stays up very late to argue with anonymous strangers on the internet.

    You lost you hair, Dan, because there is nothing of substance under it. It bailed out in search of more fertile grounds.

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  52. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    "Another sad aspect to all of this: Dan actually stays up very late to argue with anonymous strangers on the internet."A clear indicator of his relationship status.

    Good night (wink wink, Bob's your uncle)

    ReplyDelete
  53. AnonymousMay 05, 2009

    Motion Pictures

    The Internet

    Electricity delivered to your home, safely.

    You're welcome, Daneil Horfman-Grills.

    ReplyDelete
  54. AnonymousMay 06, 2009

    Another sad aspect to all of this is that Dan is actually only around till about 10pm GMT and I'm the one who is up all night arguing with people on the Internet and figuring out what the time is where they are.

    Shame on me.

    ReplyDelete
  55. AnonymousMay 06, 2009

    I also seem not to know what hair is.

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  56. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  57. AnonymousMay 06, 2009

    I also have forgotten that he has a girlfriend.

    HOW MANY THINGS CAN I GET WRONG BEFORE I NEVER POST IN THIS THREAD AGAIN BECAUSE I AM A WEAKLING!?!

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  58. Oh, I see that 10PM GMT is actually 7PM EDT. So when my snarky comments show up at 9PM EDT, it does indeed mean that I'm up at Midnight, honking away at anonymous strangers on the internet. Sad, but true.

    Thanks, all you Yanks in the DC area, for bringing Internet technologies to the un-inventive, un-innovated nations to which I pledge allegiance! Don't know what I'd whack off to without my American Internet technology.

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  59. Very bad maths indeed, you're quite simply making it up, I was in bed with my good lady and just because you link to my profile (God you love me don't you, I clearly fill your waking hours with joy) doesn't mean you're the real deal silly boy.

    Now fuck off.

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  60. Just to be clear 22:08 was my last comment here last night.

    Good grief, not only is maths a basic human interaction a struggle for you, so is maths.

    Poor child.

    Now you can fuck off.

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  61. Seriously, you anon hacks are a fucking bunch of cretins.

    ReplyDelete
  62. "I am fully aware of the horrors of domestic abuse, thanks very much, far more than I want to be."

    http://www.chickyog.net/2009/03/06/1-in-10/

    ReplyDelete
  63. AnonymousMay 06, 2009

    "tom p on 09.03.2009 at 11:55 Permalink | Reply

    Who the fuck do you think you are, Daniel Hoffman-Gill? You fucking cunty shithead.
    How fucking dare you imply that I in someway equivocate regarding domestic violence or harm to women.
    You can stick your smug sanctimonious cuntiness right up your arse."

    http://www.chickyog.net/2009/03/06/1-in-10/

    ReplyDelete
  64. HA HA! What a stalking fucking cunt, fervently Googling me as they manhandle themselves to a messy and noisy climax.

    Unlike you anon fuck face, I'm not ashamed of what I write online and put my name to it.

    I'll write that again...

    PUT MY NAME TO IT.

    You hide like a fucking coward.

    HA HA!

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  65. AnonymousMay 06, 2009

    "A family with the wrong members in control; that, perhaps, is as near as one can come to describing England in a phrase." ~ George Orwell

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  66. Thanks for plugging mywork by the way.

    You're in love with me.

    Keep hiding coward.

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  67. "I am not anti-American. But I am strongly pro-Canadian. "

    John Diefenbaker

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  68. AnonymousMay 06, 2009

    Men historically hyphenate their family to show the creation of a new family line, which would be different from their father's line.

    Such as when a new line is created in the aftermath of rape.

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  69. I'm sorry to hear your dad raped you.

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  70. Would you like me to rape you?

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  71. Anonymous DadMay 06, 2009

    He sucked his ass juice off my cock end.

    GOOD BOY!

    ReplyDelete
  72. AnonymousMay 06, 2009

    “The quickest way to end a war is to lose it.” ~ George Orwell

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  73. AnonymousMay 06, 2009

    “What can you do against the lunatic who is more intelligent than yourself, who gives your arguments a fair hearing and then simply persists in his lunacy?” ~ George Orwell

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  74. America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter, and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.

    ~Abraham Lincoln

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  75. AnonymousMay 06, 2009

    @ Daniel Hoffmann-Gill

    I'd post as something other than anony, but for some fucking reason, this site isn't cooperating with my google/blogger Id.

    So piss on that.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Daniel, you didn't ruin this blog. But you put the final nail in the coffin. You drove Marissa away, and she was the best writer on this blog.

    ReplyDelete
  77. AnonymousMay 06, 2009

    As mentioned previously, "Daniel" is really M@.

    You see, on the internet, anyone can set up a blog under an alter-ego. Anyone can create a fake persona and slap some video clips up onto You Tube.

    ReplyDelete
  78. AnonymousMay 06, 2009

    The perfect ironic metaphor of this blog is some Euro-trash dude bloviating about how superior he is to everyone else because he logs in with a Blogger account before he comments.

    When you're prepared to discuss this in person on the Southeast corner of Trinidad Ave. & Morse St. NE, at 3 AM, we'll talk. Otherwise, shut the fuck up!

    ReplyDelete
  79. Pam:

    if that really is the case then the answer is so simple, it hurts...

    CLOSE ANON COMMENTS.

    See, it really is that simple.

    Anon Coward Ball Bags:

    No. I am me.

    And come talk like an adult when you manage to put a name and face to your 'thoughts'.

    Now fuck off, I've done with you.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Also, to be clear, you have no idea what irony is.

    Typical fucking American...

    ReplyDelete
  81. AnonymousMay 06, 2009

    "Irony (from the Ancient Greek εἰρωνεία eirōneía, meaning hypocrisy, deception, or feigned ignorance)"

    In this case, it is hypocrisy (see the definition of "irony" above) to claim that banning anonymous comments from this blog will raise the quality of this blog. Why?

    Because "some Euro-trash dude bloviating about how superior he is to everyone else because he logs in with a Blogger account before he comments." And in doing so, he destroys the quality of comments on this blog.

    For further refrence, see DHG's comments about incest, rape, etc.

    ReplyDelete
  82. "Situational irony is the disparity of intention and result: when the result of an action is contrary to the desired or expected effect."

    GODDAMNIT, BAN ANONYMOUS COMMENTS ON THIS BLOG, NOW! MOTHERFARKING IGNORANT AMERICANS! I INSIST THAT YOU BAN ANON COMMENTS NOW!! WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?! DID YOUR MOTHER NOT LOVE YOU ENOUGH? DID YOUR FATHER NOT BUGGER YOU ENOUGH? OR WAS IT TOO MUCH!!???

    I INSIST THAT YOU BAN ANONY COMMENTS NOW IN ORDER TO RAISE THE QUALITY OF COMMENTS ON THIS BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  83. I am superior to all.

    You know, because I told you so.

    We do have a bit of a sticky wicket on our hands, because M@ beleives that he is superior to all. We'll sort that out soon enough...

    ReplyDelete
  84. Wow, and we thought Liz wrecked this blog ...

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  85. AnonymousMay 06, 2009

    Danny boi; thanks for shutting the fuck up, as you were asked to do.

    ReplyDelete
  86. AnonymousMay 06, 2009

    I think it's time you shut this site down or rename it to something approriate. It's just morons hate posting now. A shame.

    ReplyDelete
  87. AnonymousMay 06, 2009

    This is #98. Who will claim 99?

    ReplyDelete
  88. I have herewith adjusted my profile information as requested above in this lively discourse. I hope we can be more honest with each other forthwith, brothers.

    Cheerio!

    ReplyDelete
  89. (To be read in an exaggerated Monty-Python-esque voice:)

    Daniel,

    Whilst I adore pompous men who look older than their age, I must unfortunately inform yewwww that I do not want to be impregnated by yewww. Therefore, our days are numbaaaahed.

    The very thought of your spawn growing within me (assuming you are man enough render me into such a state) is enough to make me spew my bangers and mash. By the way, all the stagehands are fucking me with regularity.

    Cheerio!

    ReplyDelete
  90. AnonymousMay 06, 2009

    Welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, well. To what do I owe the extreme pleasure of this surprising visit?

    Well, well, well, well. If it isn't fat, stinking billygoat Danny-Boy in poison. How art thou, thy globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip-oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if you have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly thou.

    ReplyDelete
  91. AnonymousMay 06, 2009

    M@ is in Vermont.

    The wind in DC is coming out of the south tonight. It smells better than it usually does. Now I know why.

    ReplyDelete
  92. AnonymousMay 07, 2009

    Even if you write the name and link to the profile, it doesn't make it so.

    Some people here are so hepped up on their own rage, they can barely keep their teeth in.

    Get a life, seriously.

    ReplyDelete
  93. AnonymousMay 07, 2009

    Quality of comments on this blog?

    HA HA HA!

    Funny as fuck man, I think you mean, you guys can comment whatever offensive bullshit you want but as soon as someone comes along and destroys you, you go crying to your mommies.

    HA HA HA!

    Someone give these guys a fucking break, they need it.

    ReplyDelete
  94. AnonymousMay 07, 2009

    I love how the blog owners are taking responsibility for the comments here and letting people sock puppet and impersonate others profiles.

    Gee whiz!

    ReplyDelete
  95. Hello Anonymous Fuck-tards obsessed with me and my life.

    "Danny boi; thanks for shutting the fuck up, as you were asked to do."

    Wrong.

    Again.

    Oh dear little man.

    Bye for now!

    ReplyDelete
  96. AnonymousMay 07, 2009

    Danny said: "I've done with you."

    So you're a liar, too?! GASP! What a suprise...

    ReplyDelete
  97. No, you don't understand, I'm done with you meant that anon fuck not, as you're all hiding behind that coward's moniker, how can I tell you all apart?

    One by one.

    ReplyDelete
  98. AnonymousMay 07, 2009

    Done? Overdone, maybe. Burned, even. Outdone, for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  99. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  100. AnonymousMay 07, 2009

    Let us all know when you arrive in Washington, Danny.

    You are Robin to M@'s Batman. Sad.

    ReplyDelete
  101. AnonymousMay 07, 2009

    Typical fucking European.

    ReplyDelete
  102. AnonymousMay 07, 2009

    Lincoln really loved "off color humor." He used to tell the story of Ethan Allen. Allen traveled to England. At the home of his English host, Allen excused himself and went to the out house. Allen discovered that his host had hung a portrait of George Washington in said out house as an attempt to insult Ethan Allen.

    Instead, when Allen returned to his host, he said to the him; "you know, that was a smart idea, hanging George Washington's portrait in your outhouse. Nothing makes an English shit faster than seeing a portrait of General Washington!"

    Imagine if Allen's host were suddenly transported to an entire city named after General Washington. Oh, the hijinx that would have ensued.

    ReplyDelete
  103. I've been to Washington twice, nice museums.

    And sad more aptly describes your clumsy efforts to describe Matt and I as partners in crime fighting.

    Typical fucking Americans.

    ReplyDelete
  104. AnonymousMay 08, 2009

    I spent a week in London. Next time I'm there, I'll kick your teeth in.

    Next time you're in Washington, I'll kick your teeth in. Just let me know, m'kay shite-head?

    Yes, Batman and Robin. No doubt if an off-off-off Broadway production of "Batman and His Boot-Lick, Robin", were to begin casting, you'd fawn all over yourself to land the role of the Boot-Lick. 'Till then....

    ReplyDelete
  105. AnonymousMay 08, 2009

    EUROTRASHPost-modern, degenerate, trendy, or out-of-style European cultural phenomena masquerading as avant-garde High Art. Its origins are primarily German/Austrian but have extended to France, Scandinavia, England and Italy with success.

    e.g.The director's Eurotrash production of Hamlet featured lots of latex, swastikas, and a man wearing a diaper starring as Gertrude.

    ReplyDelete
  106. HA HA HA!

    Brilliant bullshit! Anonymous cowards then threaten violence in a medium that is incriminating.

    You guys make me laugh, seriously, you're a fucking joke, what kind of thick idiot makes a violent threat online where everyone can see it?

    It's funny, I'm meeting someone tonigth who made a threat to me, in London town, idiot posted the threat online so if they actually do anything, which I doubt, they are fully incriminated.

    And sure, when next you're here or I'm there, email me, that's if you're not such a anon fucking coward after all, fucking cunt.

    Your Batman analogy was tired the first time.

    Thanks also for the Eurotrash definition, glad to see you can read and look things up.

    NEXT!

    ReplyDelete
  107. AnonymousMay 08, 2009

    M@, Dave, Daniel Hoffmann;

    Creating a blog and/or online profile is not the same as living in the physical world.

    There you go. You're welcome. No charge.

    ReplyDelete
  108. What? What kind of simple minded fucking idiot are you?

    Your logic is as flawed and empty as your thinking.

    Just fuck off, quickly, before you embarrass yourself any longer with this nonsense.

    ReplyDelete
  109. AnonymousMay 08, 2009

    The Batman analogy was spot-on the first time, and it remains so. How are the Robin tights fitting today? A little snug? Thought so.

    Wait, you're involved in pointless arguments on other websites, to the extent where you've been threatened and you're meeting the other party in person tonight? HILARIOUS! HA!

    You obviously take yourself much too seriously (even more so than your superior M@, and that's saying something). So, please alert the authorities to the "kick your teeth in" comment made here. There are lots of references to violence, rape, incest, child abuse, etc. here. And it is all "Fully Documented" via log aggregation hosts at various ISPs around the world. Let's see, the IP address associated with this comment is leased via DHCP to a DSL customer named "Brian Griffith" somewhere in the Washington area. But perhaps Brian is at work right now, or perhaps my name is really Brian Griffith. Either way, do your worst, please.

    Oh, and you really do look much older than you really are. Perhaps you should rethink your eating and exercise habits? Looks to me like you're getting too much sausage. You like sausage, don't you?

    ReplyDelete
  110. AnonymousMay 08, 2009

    "What?"

    Blogs are no substitute for real life.

    I know that is a shock to your intellect, but the sooner you accept that fact, the better chance you have at not developing dementia before you're 50.

    (you look like you're 50 now, however)

    ReplyDelete
  111. Spot on?

    Ha ha, funny little man, nice effort at bigging up your own stupid idea but that doesn't make it any better.

    Hilarious? Wow, your have a terrible sense of humour to match your ability to connect people to superhero characters.

    *ouch*

    That's gotta hurt.

    And it's easy to be flippant and empty when you're an anon coward, you never have to actually believe anything you poor little soul, but when you grow up, you'll know that to put your name to it makes you mean it, rather than being a vacous little creature.

    Oh and then you seem to out yourself, Brian Griffith, tell you what, put your name to it every time and I'll take you a wee bit more seriously, until then, you're a no-mark parasite.

    Gosh, you love me don't you, obsessing over me, you little tart.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Anonymous:

    I don't need you to tell me blogs are no substitute for real life, as I have one and I'm not the anon cunt face trawling an obscure dc site leaving spiteful comments to one of the writers.

    Bear in mind you and others have been doing this for some time, how pathetic is that?

    ReplyDelete
  113. AnonymousMay 08, 2009

    "Bear in mind you and others have been doing this for some time"

    To answer your ridiculous question: It only takes minutes of my day. And I enjoy it. And it is only on this blog. I make a living with a computer, so to have this blog open within a tab on a web browser is no big deal.

    You, however, are spending a lot of time on a lot of different websites, auguring with a lot of different people (anon and otherwise), carrying out a "relationship" online, and publishing an inordinate amount of personal information for the entire wired world see.

    Can you connect the dots? Do you not see causality in your actions?

    ReplyDelete
  114. AnonymousMay 08, 2009

    Oh, and danny;

    More profanity, please. Especially the references to female genitalia, you're so masterful in that realm.

    And, if you would, please; do carry on about how superior you are. Everyone just eats that up.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Justifying your pathetic behaviour is not a good way to improve it, you have to acknowledge your defects before you can work on them.

    I can see you now, with your tab open, w00t!

    You seem to not now what a blog is, it is a personal diary and record of your life. Or for you, a place to vomit your tiny little mind onto.

    ReplyDelete
  116. "Everyone just eats that up."

    You seem to love the taste.

    ReplyDelete
  117. AnonymousMay 08, 2009

    "You seem to not now what a blog is, it is a personal diary and record of your life."

    You seem to not know what the internet is. It is anything but "personal".

    ReplyDelete
  118. It can be whatever you want it to be sweetheart.

    ReplyDelete
  119. AnonymousMay 08, 2009

    That's why you have a personal connection with people who think you're a toad's ass, baby cakes.

    Now, how about getting back to the profanity and the delusions of grandeur that you're so famous for?

    ReplyDelete
  120. That's how you want use it, that's fine but you can't stop me using it for whatever I want.

    You dig?

    Now come on, stop hiding behind anonymous and get an identity.

    ReplyDelete
  121. AnonymousMay 08, 2009

    I came in Eva-Jane's mouth. She swallowed eagerly.

    TMI?

    ReplyDelete
  122. No you didn't.

    *yawn*

    Jeez, you guys are serial liars and deluded beyond belief.

    Get well soon.

    ReplyDelete
  123. AnonymousMay 08, 2009

    Dear M@'s Boot Lick,

    She's just another Limey cunt. Just like you.

    Have some more sausage, Robin.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Dear Anon Coward:

    She's South African actually.

    How wrong can you be, it that like 423 comments on the trot of getting it wrong? Wow, you are dumb.

    Poor little scared coward.

    ReplyDelete
  125. AnonymousMay 08, 2009

    You live in cheap outlier neighborhood of london. You're Limey shits.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Daniel old chum,

    Every caped crusader needs a man-boy like you for comic and sexual relief. I'm renewing your contract for another season!

    Now, on your knees and unbuckle my utility belt...

    ReplyDelete
  127. HA HA!

    Someone doesn't know a thing about London, my house is worth over a quarter of a million dollars and I own it.

    Is the Batman Robin thing all you're got child? Mixed with your homophobia it paints a wonderful picture of you being a right twat.

    ReplyDelete
  128. AnonymousMay 08, 2009

    OOoooo, a quarter million dollars. You're well on your way to being solidly working-class here in DC!

    ReplyDelete
  129. Bronson Pinchot is more successful than you.May 08, 2009

    He needs to join forces with D@ve, who thinks $90K is a whopping salary.

    ReplyDelete
  130. AnonymousMay 08, 2009

    Own? Dollars? What? Are you in London, NSW?

    Quarter million? That buys a tired studio basement flat in a second-class neighborhood in Washington, DC.

    ReplyDelete
  131. AnonymousMay 08, 2009

    Boot Lick Danny? What happened to you, Boot Lick? Where did you go, Boot Lick Danny?

    I know, you're updating your personal diary, which is accessible by millions from around the world. How quaint.

    ReplyDelete
  132. Hi anonymous cowards, glad to see you've been busy typing instead of having a fucking life.

    It's funny, I did some brief research on a Washington DC real estate site, I have no idea what areas of good or not cuz a) I don't give a fuck and b) see a.

    BUT, it's odd because I see plenty of property all over DC, including Georgetown and Dupont Circle.

    But then I don't hink that's the point is it, the point is just to be cunts.

    ReplyDelete
  133. AnonymousMay 09, 2009

    www.trulia.com is a well-known, comprehensive real estate site in the States.

    Searching for real estate in Georgetown at a price of $250,000 or less yields... nothing. There is a rental for $19,000 per month. Nothing else.

    There are some properties available in Dupont Circle for less than $250,000. They are condos, not fee-simple homes. (look up "fee simple" for details) Also, the average square footage is 500 square feet *or less*. In the USA, that is a tiny postage stamp of an apartment.

    Here is a more typical property in a "transitional" neighborhood in DC: http://www.postlets.com/res/2131478

    Boot-Lick Daniel doesn't give a fuck, so it is good to know we won't be hearing from him again.

    ReplyDelete
  134. AnonymousMay 09, 2009

    But who will use the word "cunt" with every post if dannie doesn't come back?

    Oh well, I guess we'll have to make do without his potty mouth.

    ReplyDelete
  135. I found 'em, what can I say.

    And why are so so bothered?

    Get on with your own life and I'll get on with mine.

    Take care now!

    ReplyDelete
  136. AnonymousMay 10, 2009

    Link to them.

    ReplyDelete
  137. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    "And why are so so bothered?"

    You're a lying filthy animal. Filthy animals are bothersome.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Link to them?

    You want me to hold your hand? Google washington dc real estate and you'll find plenty of sites that have homes for sale in dc in the areas I mentioned for $250,000+

    As for calling me a filty lying animal, come back to me when you don't have an identity based utterly on hiding the truth. Then we'll chat bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  139. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    No no no; you said: "Georgetown and Dupont Circle" Did you forget or are you changing your story?

    There are plenty properties available for less than 250k in neighborhoods with some of the highest drug-related violent crime in the United States.

    Interesting how an "actor" living in the UK professes to be an expert on real estate in Washington DC. You're so full of yourself that you truly think you know what you're talking about, don't you?

    ReplyDelete
  140. Not changing my story you weird obsessive little man.

    Just not holding your hand.

    I never professed to be an expert of dc real estate, that's you building strawmen to knock down.

    You're as pointless as you are thick.

    ReplyDelete
  141. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    Ah, name-calling as standard operating procedure. It says so much about you.

    Come on; just one link to a property in "Georgetown" or "Dupont Circle" that isn't a broom closet in a garage, and is less than $251K?

    ReplyDelete
  142. Cyclical arguing is a huge waste of good time.

    I'm not holding your hand, i found plenty, so can you.

    Take care stalker.

    ReplyDelete
  143. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    What a fucking jackass that hoffman(n)-gill is! Damn.

    Dead blog.

    ReplyDelete
  144. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    danile horfman-grillis is a fellatio artist.

    ReplyDelete
  145. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    Have you figured out what irony is yet, boot-lick?

    ReplyDelete
  146. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    Yeah! What a jackass!

    ReplyDelete
  147. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    I agree!

    ReplyDelete
  148. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    So do I!

    ReplyDelete
  149. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    How cool are we?

    ReplyDelete
  150. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    And we know what irony is!

    ReplyDelete
  151. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    And we believe in things called fellatio artists!

    ReplyDelete
  152. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    And we are so fucking sad that we set up blogs!

    ReplyDelete
  153. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    And we keep saying dead blog as if anyone is listening!

    ReplyDelete
  154. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    WE ARE RELEVENT!

    ReplyDelete
  155. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    We have failed again.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Among the 50 states and the District of Columbia, D.C. had far and away the highest average annual salary, at $67,810.

    Forbes.com

    ReplyDelete
  157. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    It also has lower than national average number of under 5s and 18s, as well as below national average level of high school grads but higher than national average when it comes to Bachelor degrees.

    ReplyDelete
  158. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    Washington DC citizens' commute to work is 4 minutes longer than the national average.

    ReplyDelete
  159. Hmm, wealthiest jurisdiction in the richest nation on the planet? Whatever.

    Let's talk about the British Monarchy. On second thought, we'll let that nonsense speak for itself. Let's talk about the atrocities of the British Empire instead:

    Heart of smugnessUnlike Belgium, Britain is still complacently ignoring the gory cruelties of its empire

    "...But while a Black Book of Communism has been compiled and everybody is aware of the horrors of nazism, popular historians have been surprisingly uninterested in the dark side of the British Empire. There are exceptions, such as Mike Davis's powerful Late Victorian Holocausts, but much else still lies buried in the academic literature. Davis and others have estimated that there were between 12 and 33 million avoidable deaths by famine in India between 1876 and 1908, produced by a deadly combination of official callousness and free-market ideology. But these were far from being a purely Victorian phenomenon. As late as 1943 around 4 million died in the Bengal famine, largely because of official policy. "

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2002/jul/23/congo.comment

    ReplyDelete
  160. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    46% of Washington residents walk to work or take transit options other than driving.

    The '4 minute longer than average commute' statistic is probably applicable only suburban drivers, who spend inordinate amounts of time commuting as it is.

    ReplyDelete
  161. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    Only 40% of DC citizens own their own home, some 26% below national average.

    18% of DC citizens live below the poverty line, the national average is 12%.

    ReplyDelete
  162. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    Unemployment is 2% above national average

    ReplyDelete
  163. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    32% of DC's children live in poverty and the highest infant mortality rate in the US.

    ReplyDelete
  164. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    Unemployment is high, poverty is high, and income per capita is highest in the nation?

    Sounds like bifurcation (look it up, go on) along socio-economic lines.

    ReplyDelete
  165. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    On the bright side, it has more businesses, on average, owned by women and African Americans than anywhere else in the United States.

    ReplyDelete
  166. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    Yep, lots of poor people and lots of rich people. Next?

    ReplyDelete
  167. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    The water quality in DC is the sencond last of all the states.

    ReplyDelete
  168. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    "On the bright side, it has more businesses, on average, owned by women and African Americans than anywhere else in the United States."

    mattie! You're back and you're anonymous! you little cocksucker, where ya' been?

    ReplyDelete
  169. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    DC has 9,300 people per square mile.

    America averages 79.

    ReplyDelete
  170. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    The worst DC snow storm was 1922, where 28 inches fell.

    ReplyDelete
  171. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    When it comes to sweat, DC is the 20th sweatiest city in the US.

    ReplyDelete
  172. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    Only Atlanta and Tampa have greater inequality between the rich and the poor.

    ReplyDelete
  173. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    African-American residents are five times more likely than white residents to be unemployed.

    ReplyDelete
  174. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    NYC has a population density of 27,147/sq mi

    ReplyDelete
  175. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    African-American median income is no higher than in 1980.

    ReplyDelete
  176. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    DC's school children are the worst readers in the country.

    ReplyDelete
  177. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    Percent of city residents who read at a third grade level: 37%

    ReplyDelete
  178. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    mattie's back and you're gonna be in trouble;

    hey now, hey now mattie's back

    and dannies gonna cry.... mattie's back and there ain't no reason why..

    ReplyDelete
  179. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    30% of DC's fire hydrants are not working.

    ReplyDelete
  180. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    1 in 5 DC residents has no source of health care.

    ReplyDelete
  181. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    DC black men have a life expectancy of 63.4 years or 10.5 less than average. Black women has a life expectancy of 74.1 years or 5.3 fewer than the national average.

    ReplyDelete
  182. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    wow, all that unemployment, illiteracy and poverty AND the highest per-capita income of any jurisdiction in the wealthiest nation in the world? There must be some rich mother-fuckers in DC that are skewing the average.

    That, and real estate is cheap there.

    ReplyDelete
  183. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    10% of DC's population is addicted to drink or drugs.

    ReplyDelete
  184. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    In the District, 37 percent of residents are functionally illiterate. One in 10 cannot fill out a job application.

    ReplyDelete
  185. AnonymousMay 11, 2009

    3. No longer will I be publishing or even reading anonymous hate mail. That's an automatic delete from this day forward.

    4. Also, I won't allow myself any longer to be baited into making (overtly) racist comments. (I have three African Americans and a half-Asian as Facebook friends.)

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    Luv the way the little bitch named 'm@' is "taking a few days off from the internet.'


    March 05, 2009
    Stanley said...
    lookin' a little tubby there, mattie. but hey, it goes with the receding hairline.

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    Oh, there's a bitch from Howard University who needs to get fucked.... I'll do that.

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    "I have three African Americans and a half-Asian as Facebook friends."

    In other words; Facebook = Reality.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    What's the grad. rate there? 30%?

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    Goodbye, nigger.

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    Bub bye! Have fun being black.

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    I got a big white cock for ya, babe. :)

    9:42 PM

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    Re: Howard University. Duh on the DSL. I used that to bait you. You told me you work at Howard.

    Got a boyfriend there? LOL

    9:44 PM

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    Yeah, I think we should just have sex. I like black chicks.

    9:46 PM

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    no, i was doing that too. i used three different services.

    9:49 PM

    M@ said...
    what are you? a receptionist? I know damn well you're not a doctor there. LOL.

    9:50 PM

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    u know u want it.

    9:53 PM

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    I can handle you.... and unlike black guys, i go down... ;)

    9:52 PM

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    You WISH, girlfriend. Hey, do you have gmail? This would be much easier if I could just call you or chat.

    Are you OK? You seem obsessed with me. IT's unhealthy. I worry about you....

    9:56 PM

    M@ said...
    Look, if you have some serious points to make, I will listen to you. If you want to talk. I'm sorry about your troubles. Have a good night.

    9:57 PM

    March 05, 2009
    Anonymous said...
    M@ said...
    Yeah, what happened to you?

    9:58 PM

    M@ said...
    What happened to you, dude?

    ReplyDelete