6.03.2009

How to succeed in business without being legal

No doubt you’ve read all about the latest Graham-declares-war on pizza kerfuffle. He's too busy blaming all our ills on legitimate, tax-paying businesses while completely ignoring an actual illegitimate business practice that’s so prevalent in his ward: folks selling shaved ice on the street and mango slices out of coolers.

When I first saw this practice I thought “Oh, that’s cool. Street vendors.” and walked on. They tend to mind their own business and just stand there, unlike the CD and filched goods salesmen lining U Street who yell and plead with you to buy their wares. I’m sure the people tending these carts and coolers, handing out shaved ice and bagged fruit to passersby are nice, upstanding citizens. I’m not saying otherwise. What I am saying though is no matter how well-intentioned, this is flagrantly illegal. And not because “the man” said so to be a dick but because they present a real and present health risk.

I’ve seen many shaved ice carts tended by children far too young to be manning anything that requires handling money and customers. Hell, these kids are too young to ride their bikes in the street, let alone man a cart in the sun for four hours. Not only is it illegal child labor, but I wouldn’t trust a kid to make me a shaved ice. It’s not hard, but I doubt they use gloves when they scoop the ice and for all I know the bin they’re scooping hasn’t been cleaned out in months. Kids are also not known for their personal hygiene.

The little old ladies selling Ziploc bags of mango slices aren’t free from this, either. Proponents say they’re just trying to make a buck doing something relatively easy and appreciated by the community, what’s the big deal? The big deal here is that it’s unsanitary and at times can create a public nuisance, crowding the small area behind the bus stop on 16th and Irving. Some might say “Why bother fighting this? It’s a victimless crime”. Yes, and so is prostitution, but just because it’s victimless doesn’t make it legal.

What’s more, it’s not entirely victimless; any number of communicable diseases and bacteria can be spread by improper food handling and packaging. How about some Hepatitis A with your mango? Or if not that, could I interest you in some norovirus? All it takes is that little old lady hawking bags of sliced fruit to cough a little or neglect to thoroughly wash her hands after using the bathroom and then grope some mangoes. Next thing you know you’re hunched over your toilet cursing God, your impulsive purchase of street fruit, a random conquistador you remember from high school Spanish class, and Jim Graham.

Of course, as in anything in life, caveat emptor or “buyer beware”. If you’re dumb enough to buy fruit or shaved ice off the street without knowing if it was produced in a reasonably sanitary manner, you deserved that diarrhea. But that’s why laws about food handling and operating a legitimate business exist: because you shouldn’t be put in that situation, anyways. Getting food poisoning from your local restaurant sucks and shouldn’t happen, but it does, and when it does you have a proper legal process to file a complaint against the restaurant. Health codes are there for a reason (and not just to give money to those companies that make the “wash your hands” signs). Don’t believe me? Read The Jungle.

The only reason Jim Graham allows this to continue unabated is because these folks are keeping him in office. If he were to crack down on this he would lose his seat to – GASP – someone who would probably represent the yuppified hipster class that’s elbowing in on his territory and are scheming to rid themselves of Graham’s lunacy. Listening to his primary constituency of Hispanic immigrants and tending to their needs is wonderful and all, but turning a blind eye when they are blatantly disregarding sanitation and business laws is wrong. Blaming crime on legitimate business like Jumbo Slice, Alberto’s, and fining LEGIT businesses who advertise with sidewalk sandwich boards just makes this transgression even worse.

22 comments:

  1. AnonymousJune 03, 2009

    go back to the burbs where you can buy all the nasty produce you want from costco

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJune 03, 2009

    HEY ANNE...

    WHAT MIDWESTERN CESSPOOL FLYOVER STATE DID YOU MOVE HERE FROM?

    INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW.

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  3. It will only get worse. Shaved ice and mangos is where it all starts - but it expands.

    Here is a partial list of what I can buy on the street.

    1. shaved ice
    2. mangos
    3. limes
    4. oranges
    5. shrimp
    6. whole fish
    (the seafood is paraded around out of the cooler for passerbys to see)
    7. flowers
    8. churros
    9. bbq chicken
    10. batteries


    Along with this is any number of small items that can be stolen from a store.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousJune 03, 2009

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    Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!

    Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anne,

    Get used to it. You're now living in a Third World nation. My only problem with 3rd Worlders, however, is that they all want to come and congregate beneath MY window at nine in the morning w/ they damn leaf blowers.

    You'll know you've made it here when you find yourself at the police station filing a report for death threats. You know they actually forward such complaints to the FBI? It's true.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousJune 03, 2009

    I wonder how Sotomayor would rule on this issue.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The good part about when I lived in Adams Morgan was that I could totally get a one-foot ceramic statute of Jesus for two dollars. I tried to get it for 1.75 but she was firm.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousJune 03, 2009

    I like to eat tacos and burritos.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Seriously, Anne. One of the things I hate about D.C. is that there are not more street food choices, like in New York.

    It would be nice to have more licensed food vendors on the street but I agree that the unlicensed sort is dangerous. There're trucks in Adams Morgan vending Latino food that aren't bad. I like that.... But the bottom of the barrel is some troub-le.

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  10. This is what you hate about DC? Sliced mangoes? Sure, it's illegal. So's half the shit our mayor does. Doesn't that concern you more than the dire public health threat posed by sliced mangoes?

    I hear there are rentals available in Reston, FYI. No litter to be seen on the sidewalks. Or mangoes. Or people, probably.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousJune 03, 2009

    Third World? Obama says we're a Muslim country.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yes Jamie, because clearly the best things to write about are people who can't read very well (whoops) or hipster web sites.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousJune 03, 2009

    Anne, could you please write something about how M@'s octogenarian father had bypass surgery? And about how he fathered little mattie when he was in his fifties? That stuff cracks me up.

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousJune 03, 2009

    M@ just wants some alone time with men in uniform.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousJune 03, 2009

    Hey matt: "Down you go."

    Now when you repeat that back to us it will read something like:

    "Someone told me that I'm going down."


    Hahhahhaha! What a fucking dimwit.

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousJune 03, 2009

    You know where I live? I know where you work. :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. KatherineJune 03, 2009

    I agree with you on the child labor issue. However, I don't agree with you on the health issue. That's where personal responsibility should come in. You purchase sketchy shaved ice or fruit from a random sketch vendor...you're taking your own risk. Tough beans if you get sick. And that's the way it should be.

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  18. Katherine,

    You make a good point. I think if I was a black guy or white guy on the city council I would hesitate to lean on some immigrant on the lowest echelon of business.... Most of their customers are prolly in the same class anyway.... I can understand why the city would hesitate to do anything....

    Btw, those Hispanic trucks seem much cleaner than most sit-down restaurants in Baltimore....

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  19. Matt is abusing the anonymous comment facility! matt is abusing the anonymous comment facility! Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop!

    I'm better than all of you! All of you! Better than all of you!

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousJune 04, 2009

    Jim Graham is a joke but that's why blends perfectly with our other apathetic "re-elect me, please" council members. Top that off with our douchebag mayor and you've got a perfect dickhead dessert. I've gotta move away; no job is worth living in this city.

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  21. It looks like I didn't make my point clear enough. I don't actually care one way or the other about street vendors. The point is that these people are unregulated, don't bring in any tax revenue for the city, are never inspected, so on an so forth. Graham would rather blame all sorts of things on regulated, inspected, revenue generating businesses. Wasting time on either pizza or street vendors is stupid.

    Jim Graham is just stupid and wasting his time, as usual, fighting the wrong battles and drawing attention to himself as being a jackass.

    ReplyDelete
  22. AnonymousJune 04, 2009

    Anne, you're really Dave in drag, right?

    Let me rephrase: You're really Dave on a typical day, right?

    ReplyDelete