My youth burning several years ago to a cosmic crescendo, I joined colleagues in building a quintessential Washington experience—forming an adult kickball team in one of several metropolitan-area leagues.
Though my recollection of those Monday nights in Adams Morgan remains hazy, I believe we called ourselves the “Kicktards,” registering with the World Adult Kickball Association, known as WAKA, of Washington, D.C. Wearing oversized blue jerseys, we drank Pabst Blue Ribbon while challenging other teams at flip-cup, stripping to boxers and panties for little to no reason whatsoever.
Last week, the satirical newspaper The Onion nailed the experience in a feature, quoting a fictional bar owner in St. Louis who sponsors one such team:
“[N]ot one of these brats can order a drink without using a fancy-ass name for it," Henton added. "You want a 'Cape Codder'? It's called a vodka-and-cranberry, dickhead."
After confirming that sales of Pabst Blue Ribbon had doubled since he began sponsoring the team, Trimble confessed that the new business was coming from patrons he never wanted in his bar in the first place.
"These are people I should be beating up, not bankrolling," Trimble said. "Now this place is turning into a total hipster nightmare."
Does anyone still do this? Thankfully, I haven’t seen any of that bullshit since moving to Arlington.
This blogger does not have AIDS.
Posted by M@ at 9:48 PM