Holy shit world, stop your presses. A new fast food chain restaurant is opening in Columbia Heights. That's right, since the neighborhood is so starved for food options, this is apparently some kind of huge event. So big, in fact, the fast food joint had an invite-only mock service the other night. Some big names where present, including Ward 4 Councilmember Muriel Bowser! Gasp!
Seriously? A special preview night for the latest outpost of a national fast food chain? I can understand when a brand new real restaurant wants to have a preview night--it helps train the staff and get the word out about the menu, decor, etc. But a Chipotle is a Chipotle. If you have questions or wonder what a Chipotle is, you can visit the other locations in the District of Columbia. It's nothing special. It's a fast food restaurant. They have tacos and burritos. They put things in tin foil. If you're super curious and lazy, hop on the Circulator and go to the Chipotle in Woodley Park (it's not that far, really, maybe 6 minutes on the bus!).
Now I have to wonder, did Panda Express at DCUSA have a special preview night? I don't remember seeing anything about that. But their Orange Chicken is filled with crack or something, because I could eat that every night for the rest of my life. Oh, and that big soda cup with the panda on it, I love me some of that. It's cute and filled with delicious beverage. And it's all cheaper than Chipotle!
I guess this is where social media jumps the shark, we've got bloggers promoting new fast food restaurants, and city officials coming out to mark the occasion. Maybe if they renovate one of the gas stations on 14th Street, they'll do a mock service for special folk. Jim Graham can fill up his New Beetle and then fire the ceremonial first shotgun blast at the cashier's bulletproof glass. Oh, and just wait until the IHOP opens! Someone will tweet about how some dude named Ernesto botched their preview-night order of the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity. "I'll bet he's a member of MS-13, too," it will say.
When will the world stop going crazy? Is Columbia Heights so bad that the opening of a chain restaurant warrants this much attention? Furthermore, why aren't the Councilmembers boycotting and making a stink that this will hurt local businesses? Columbia Heights/Mt. Pleasant/Adams Morgan has a large number of locally owned and operated Mexican and Latin American restaurants. Jim Graham, how can you stand for this?
In any event, I'm not anti-Chipotle, I just don't understand all the hype. I think I had enough Chipotle to last a lifetime back in 2004. Today, this just seems a bit... pathetic.