We're pleased to announce the initial soft launch of a major new AOL initiative that will soon have teens seeing RED - RED, the new AOL service for teens that is.Yes, they actually put that as the first sentence of the memo.
This radically new, unique application for teens will allow today's hip-to-click group of Internet users to control and choose the online experience they want, when they want it.Hip-to-click, eh? That should be the slogan. You guys should hire Huey Lewis to do the song in the commercial... that'll really rope in those 12-17 year olds.
Also, allow them to "control and choose the online experience they want, when they want it?" Do teens have a problem using the Internet, or something? Because when I was a teenager I seem to recall being able to do voluntarily browse the Internet whenever I wanted without AOL's help. Not once did my computer come barging into the living room while I was making out to show me something I totally didn't want to see.
Meanwhile, my birthday is tomorrow, and the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit already gave me a present: my other favorite corporate behemoth entity, the Recording Industry Association of America, had the smack laideth down upon it.