Redskins, Wizards, Capitals: You're all an inspiration to me

Redskins (5-9, .357): Quarterback Tim Hasselbeck put up a quarterback rating of zero on Sunday. This matched the number of points the Redskins scored, and also the amount of humility possessed by owner Dan Snyder.

Steve Spurrier won the Heisman Trophy in college as a quarterback; in the NFL, he guided the '76 Tampa Bay Buccaneers to an 0-14 record, still the only team ever to go winless for an entire season. As a head coach at the University of Florida, Spurrier was king of the world, going 122-27-1 and winning one national title, frequently running up the score and enjoying great success. As an NFL head coach... well, these days you look at his face and you wonder who died. Moral: Steve, stick to the NCAA.

Wizards (7-16, .304): After the team's latest loss to the Knicks, head coach Eddie Jordan blamed the officiating. Because, I guess, that's easier than blaiming the players for sucking. "If only we had gotten those calls, we could have been 8-15! 8-15, I tell you!"

The Wizards' number one draft pick from three years ago, Kwame Brown, continues to suck. Every time I see him I wonder if he's somehow mistakenly put on shoes made of molasses. He's slower than John Thompson's thought processes. The 21-year-old Brown lost his starting job again this season, the same year that young draft picks LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony have electrified the league.

Meanwhile, free-agent signing Gilbert Arenas was thrown out of a game for arguing a call from the bench. While he was on the injured list and ineligible to play.

Capitals (9-19-1-1 for 20 pts. in 30 games, .333): No-necked whitey owner Ted Leonsis fired head coach Bruce Cassidy about a week after I heard him give the coach a vote of confidence on the radio.

Suddenly, after hearing trade rumors, the overpaid Jaromir Jagr started performing well; sadly for him, he's so overpaid that even the big-budget New York Rangers are unwilling to pick up his contract. As a result of his huge contract, the Capitals were financially unable to sign replacements for defensemen they lost; they've given up more goals than all but one team in the league, and are tied for fewest standings points with that team (Pittsburgh).

All this from a team that reportedly loses $18 million every year.

Average winning percentage of all three teams: .331.

Good seats... are available.

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