Big Scoop

I wanted to write about this article on Friday, but The New York Times had to go and publish that ridiculous "36 Hours" piece. It's so much easier to make fun of a bad article than a pointless one. But let's give the pointless article its fair due.

Every Thursday evening I hunker down with the newest edition of the Washington City Paper. I usually skip right to the consistently excellent "Loose Lips," and then focus on the long feature article. The feature article is usually centered around local politics or human interest stories. But what happens when a story is neither political nor interesting?

Answer: You end up with "Exit From Eden."

The Washington City Paper has broken the big news that people don't always want to follow in their parents' footsteps. Stop the presses!

Lo-Ann Lai's parents own a Vietnamese restaurant in Falls Church. But she wants to be a hairdresser. How can this conflict be resolved!?

Usually, when I make fun of newspaper articles, I copy-and-paste a paragraph and follow that with my hilarious commentary. These posts tend to be my most popular, probably because it's a really easy way to be funny while staying relatively on topic. It's idiot proof. But I'm not going to do that here. It would be too draining. It's a long article.

Instead, just read every paragraph and say to yourself, "Who gives a shit?" This is not news. It's not interesting. The topic is unexciting and, frankly, old hat. What a waste of time. The City Paper should stick to its strengths: attacking The Washington Times and printing restaurant reviews.

Post Script: Vietnamese food sucks.