Oh My Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord

Coming home from the Sleater-Kinney concert last night reminded me why this city is so intolerable. This is a city that was built for work rather than play. This is especially frustrating on the U Street Corridor which is covered with green flags urging us to enjoy the culture and the nightlife of the area. Of course, people who enjoy nightlife also enjoy getting home in a timely manner. And in Washington, that's damn near impossible. Well impossible if you don't want to shell out 15 bucks for a cab. My student loans just went up, so every extra cent helps.

The concert at the 9:30 Club ended at 11:30ish. I got to the U Street/African-American Civil War Memorial*/Cardozo stop at 11:37. I was immediately dismayed to find that the next train wouldn't be arriving for another 16 minutes. I counted my lucky stars that I wasn't headed off to College Park. That would have been a 19 minute wait. Why does DC even bother marketing itself as a fun place when the fun involves long waits underground?

I got on the Branch Ave. train and head towards Gallery Place. I was ecstatic to see that I would only have to wait six minutes for the next train.

The other shoe drops once I hop into the train and get to Metro Center. For some reason, the train idles there for 25 minutes. It may have had something to do with the Metro closing. I wouldn't know since the mystery went unexplained by Metro's crack team of customer service representatives. I was sweaty, exhausted, and tired. All I wanted to do was to get home and fall asleep. Metro would not oblige me.

I finally got home at 12:45am. 68 minutes of travel time. I live 4.8 miles from the U Street stop. That means I was going approximately 4.23 mph. Jesus Christ. I could have just walked and saved myself the $1.35.

*I loved Glory as much as the next guy suffering from white guilt, but the African-American Civil War Memorial is super-lame. It does not inspire me. It's boring and uninteresting. Anyone who goes to U Street to check it out is a sucker. It's a glorified tourist trap (though granted, one with excellent intentions). The 209,145 black veterans of The Civil War deserve better.


  1. Next time walk, then. You're an idiot for trusting Metro.


  3. Lisa FarbsteinAugust 04, 2006

    Metro's biggest problem is that they do not post the estimated arrival time of the next train outside the turnstiles. This way one could look to see whether the next train is 2 minutes or 20 minutes, and plan accordingly. I know this wouldn't help Rusty's wait at Metro Center for no discernable reason, but fuck Rusty anyway.

  4. You're right, that would have been nice.

  5. Any nightlife-loving D.C. resident is screwed. I once had to hitchhike home from a show at Nation because it was after midnight on a Thursday and at every cab company I called, no one answered the phone. D.C., thank you for forcing a young female into oh-so-safe hitching.

  6. OMG Rusty, the same happened to me after seeing Bloc Party. The show ended at 11:15pm, and I hauled ass to the U St metro stop. At the time I was living in bumfuck Vienna w/my sister, so I had a long ride ahead of me. And at that time, I didn't have a car either. I changed to the orange line at L'Enfant Plaza and then headed west. I am not kidding...we parked our asses at Metro Center for 1 hour!! So with the commute from U Street to L'Enfant & then from Metro Center to Vienna, it took me TWO FUCKING hours to get home. I walked into my sister's house at 1:08am. WTF?!?! The metro only works for rush hour in this town, and even then, there are problems with it. Even when I lived in NYC, I never had to wait very long for a train late at night. I can't wait to leave Washington, DC!


  7. You shoulda taken the little U St./Adams Morgan bus up to Woodley Park. Much faster. Or do you fear the bus?

    Always check out the Ride Guide on metro's site before heading out. Their schedule would have had you home in 40 min.

  8. "Even when I lived in NYC"

    I don't even know what this means. Where else DON'T you have to wait for trains late at night, except in NYC.

  9. The worst part about the Metro being so miserable at night is that taxi drivers know how to exploit it. Last weekend trying to leave U Street, I had four taxis refuse to take me back to Capitol Hill, and only got in the fifth because I offered a 100% tip.

    Metro needs to sit back and realize that it's supposed to serve as a city subway system, not just a communter service for MD & VA workers.

  10. Why does it close at midnight? Why?

  11. Ahhhh, the loneliest feeling is staggering to the Metro after it's closed--you've turned into a pumpkin.

    These Metro employees got annoyed w/ me one night after I passed through the turnstile. We tried to warn you it was too late to get to VA, they said in a rude manner.

    So I urinated in the elevator on my way up to the street and then kicked a sign down.

    Another time, I passed out on the street outside the Bethesda metro, woke up ten minutes later, raised my hand, and got a cab. Then the guy had to hear all about my political opinions on the ride to Arlington.....

    Yeah, the subway could be better....

  12. I love the subway for commuting but would rather drive my car into the city for partying--even if I have to drive home drunk.

  13. Wow, with all of the concerts you attend and drinking you do, you must be making at least $27k, Randy....

    By the way, I'm white and I DON'T feel guilty. If it would make you feel better, why not just cut your balls off rather than merely shaving them?

    You're right. Metro is substandard. New YOrkers marvel at how clean it is (I'ts like Disney Land, they exclaim)..... but I'd settle for dirty trains and better service. There's something beautiful about NYC trains. I love the dirt and the fact that they're always there.....

  14. Dude, Rusty, get on the trolley and consolidate those puppies. My student loans are fixed at 2.875% FOREVER.

  15. Lets face it people, we aren't NYC.

    NYC is WAY more dense than the DC region can ever hope to be. Hence, there just isn't enough demand to keep trains open all night everyday of the week. Metro is open until what, 3 am on the weekends?

    Even Rusty's beloved Boston's subway closes during the week, sometime near midnight.

  16. Wow, that's a good rate. I paid a little bit more for my consolidation. I remember one bank I called quoted me 6% and then the woman was like, So do you want an application? I was like, forget it!!!!!

  17. I don't even know how much interest I pay. I picked a gradual interest increase rate YEARS ago and I'll stick with it because I'm lazy.

  18. Take a cab next time and save yourself the heartache. It's worth the $9.80.

  19. You people do realize that on the weekends Metro stays open later then any other system in the country besides New york and a couple lines in chicago. The shity fucking T in boston is done really early. So shut the fuck up you no car douche bags.

  20. Re the $9.80...last time I took a cab from the 9:30 it was $17.00 after tip. The zone system can kiss my ass. (And yes I know I got ripped off.)

  21. I HATE taking cabs in D.C. The zone system is awful.... The last time I missed the Metro, I met some chick and we got really high and then I got a cab.... I was so scared when the guy pulled up to my place I just gave him the entire contents of my wallet and started running.... Man, was i high.

  22. this_shithole_sucksAugust 05, 2006

    Hey anonymous asshole who pissed in the elevator:

    Let's punish the commuters and/or metro users for metro's suckdom. Yeah, that'll show metro. You are the King of Douchery. It's people like you that make this miserable shithole so miserable.

    If I'd ever see you in the metro, I'd push your pathetic sorry fucking ass onto the tracks into the path of an oncoming train. Before the train came, I'd piss in your face.

  23. You're a homo, Krystal. No ifs and or butts about it.

    You take a story other people might find amusing and that's your reaction. You can't beat me with a better story, can you? You're absolutely correct. Two years ago when I was drunk as hell I should have filed a grievance, in hindsight. Yes. Screech from "Saved By The Bell" has nothing on you, pal.

    Push me on the tracks? I'm quite sure I'd be able to beat the existence right out of you, girlfriend.

    You need to grow a pair, you kaka-doodoo head homo.


  24. Krystal, I'm sure you would like to give me a "golden shower" but that's not my thang. Please return to your country of origin.

  25. No guilt.

  26. this_shithole_sucksAugust 06, 2006

    Yo dumbass,

    It was me, not Krystal that wants to push you onto the tracks and piss on you.

    Pay attention, spermburper.

  27. First of all, the "Ride Guide" on Metro's website is a crapshoot at best. The ETAs that they list are entirely arbitrary (as are the bus schedules posted at each stop). I cannot tell you how many times, during rush hour and during the late-night hours, the bus has entirely failed to show up. My favorite thing EVER is when the last bus of the night either doesn't show up at all or shows up early and leaves me in the lurch. That's especially awesome.

  28. Your family, Krystal, comes from the Eurasian state of Homostan. You can imagine what civil war looks like there--lots of slapping and hitting the enemy over the head with purses and handbags.

    "Oh, you did not wear that to battle? That's like so '80s Sandinista, girlfriend."

    I'm waiting for the following headline in the Washington Post: "Hispanic Homo Goes Postal, Slaps Coworkers To Death As Project Becomes 'Unmanageable.'"

    I think you need to something to get your mind off the negativity, bud. If having sex with a woman isn't possible for you, I'd suggest one of the following:

    --yoga class
    --taking a run
    --nice hot glass of white wine and a chilled bath
    --adopting a dog at the human society.....

    Anything to prevent you from going on a slapping rampage.

  29. rusty=douchebagAugust 07, 2006

    Hey rusty,

    I noticed that neither you nor any of the other assholes on this board responded to the comments which pointed out that metro is open later on weekends than any other system in the US besides New York (and two of the lines in Chicago). To me that means you have no response since you realized that your argument is pathetically flawed. I hate traveling to Boston because that awful piece of shit called the T closes way before the bars do. How come you've never mentioned that Rusty??? I agree that DC is a pretty shity place to live but when you bash a city at least be honest.

    Besides New York and Chicago this city has one of the best public transit systems in the country. I'm not saying that metro is perfect (there’s a lot of room for improvement) but relative to other transit systems in the US its one of the best. If anyone would like to challenge my comments please do so. Reality is working against you.

  30. this_shithole_sucksAugust 07, 2006


    I'll be happy to challenge your comments.

    As a Federal employee, I'd love to be able to take public transportation. I'd get a nice tax free $110.00 subidy every month to do it, so my commute would almost be free. But I can't. Why, you ask? Because the embarrassiong excuse for a mass transit system in this shithole doesn't go either anywhere near where I live, nor anywhere near where I work. So here we have someone who actually WANTS to use it, will GET PAID to use it, and can't. And you want to argue that it doesn't suck?

    And don't even get me started on the cost......

  31. I didn't challenge the comments because I didn't really care. The Metro closing at 3am on a Saturday has little to do with my 68 journey on Thursday.

  32. Hey, Krystal, I don't read your comments anyway and won't bother to in the future.

    But I DID want to let you know that you remind me of the gay alien on "American Dad" and, of course, Fez from "That 70s Show."

    You don't need to be threatening anyone, considering you almost got the beat-down from a fat slob the other day, you foreign fairy.

  33. Rusty, I like your blog I really do. However, you always talk about Metro madness. Here are a few topics that you may want to address about why this city is awful: (1) the increasing fights btw the drunks in Adams Morgan (2)Most fights there start over Jumbo Slice (3) the speed/red light cameras (4)that there are no gas stations or decent grocery stores (5) getting in and out of georgetown is like trying to travel through lebanon - you cant get in and you cant get out - I know you will probably say get your own blog. I am too lazy for that

  34. Oh man, I just posted about Metro again. Sorry.

  35. BTW the African-American Civil War Memorial that's near the African-American Civil War Memorial-U Street-Cardozo-What Else Can We Tag On to the End of this Station Name Metro stop isn't the one from Glory. That sculpture, by Augustus Saint-Gauden, resides at the National Gallery of Art.

    BTW - I hate DC's 'naming by committee' shit. Ronald Regan Washington Dc National Airport, indeed. Just pick a fucking name already!

  36. easy solution: GET A BIKE.

    and the African American Civil War memorial doesn't suck. tell that to someone visiting the name of their great-grandfather on the wall.

  37. Ok. If I met the great-grandson of a black Civil War veteran I would tell them that it's a shame that they got stuck with such a shitty monument.

    And I honest-to-God forgot how to ride a bike. I jumped on one on vacation and promptly crashed. But, you're right. That's probably a good investment.

  38. For those trying to compare the Chicago El to the Metro, especially the running times: of the 5 lines that run all day (not just through rush hour), 2 are open 24-7, and the other 3 are only closed between 2am-4am. Every day of the week.

    And, unlike the Metro's ungodly wait times outside of the rush hours, the El runs consistently every 5-10 minutes.

    In other words, there's no comparison - the El may be relatively slow (speed-wise) and dirty, but I'll take it over the Metro any day.

  39. As long as we're comparing wold class cities with insufficient subway systems, we would be amiss not to mention San Francisco's BART system. If there is one city in this nation besides NY that should be a 24 hour town, it is not Boston or Chicago, it is SF. And BART closes way earlier than the Metro. I cannot figure this out for the life of me.

    No doubt, Metro gives me some headaches, but the lack of late night subway access in a city with as many late night options as San Fran makes me fucking crazy.

  40. Easiest solution: Drive Drunk!

  41. In terms of hours of operation, Metro isn't so bad (as others have noted) -- midnight on weekdays and 3:00 on weekends is better than all but two other cities in the U.S., and better than some other major cities outside of the U.S. (The Paris Metro closes at around midnight every night).

    But the real problem isn't the hours of operation, it's the infrequency of the trains late at night and the inexplicable waits at Metro Center or Gallery Place. The Metro in Paris may stop running at midnight, but up until then there's still a train every 5 or 10 minutes.

  42. What a bunch of cry babies! "oh I had to wait for a train because I live in bum-fuck and I wanted to see my precious rock concert..." stop being so stuck up and stop blaming DC.

    Wake up people, it's you! If you want to stagger home from a rock concert in the middle of the night, then plan a way home that suits your needs.

    You can afford an already over-priced rock concert, and I'm sure a few drinks, but not the cab home? DC or the Metro is not to blame, you are for your poor planning.

  43. DC's fabulous zone system makes a 4.8 mile trip cost me $15. That's a rip-off. And DC's fabulous Metro system got me home at 4.2mph. DC is the one who wants people to enjoy the nightlife on U Street. So they should find a way to bring me home in a timely fashion.

    As for over-priced...$21 is way below market value for Sleater-Kinney. Worth every penny.

  44. I got 1 comment for you. Metro was designed as a commuter system, not a traditional subway system. It is not like the Tube or the L or the NYC subway, it is for commuting. It gets people from the Burbs to the City and out during rush hours. I doens't make economic sense to run a 4 or 6 car train for the 10 people who might use it from the Sleater Kinney concert. If you want a traditiopnal subway system, then be willing to pay $2.00 a ride. The Bus system in DC is excellent. I take the bus all the time.

  45. The bus system is anything but excellent. After 11pm, the scheduled buses stop showing up.

  46. Screw all you people.

    Here in Los Angeles we would KILL to have a Metro system as extensive as the one you have in D.C.

    We do have one but it's not nearly extensive enough since we are more spread out (though we do have many densely-populated areas that would benefit from a subway going through).

    We're stuck taking buses late at night, and only few lines run 24 hours. Basically, if you don't have a car and wait until last call, you're stuck taking a cab ($$$$$$), walking or waiting until 5:00 am when the buses start again.

    Count your blessings.

  47. Hey, hulkindc, there's no such thing as a "regular" subway system.

    EVERY subway system was built "for commuters." When the New York subway system was first built, one of its major tasks was transporting people who lived in Northern Manhattan (Harlem, etc.) to southern Manhattan where the jobs were.

    The same thing in Chicago, to bring people from nearby neighborhoods (on the North Side etc.) which were the first suburbs (at that time) into the central city where most people used to work.

    D.C. is a city where such a setup is definitely required because the jobs will ALWAYS be in the central city (you know, the gubmint jobs?) unless the United States ceases to exist or the capital is moved to Guam to save money. And neither of those is going to happen any time soon.

  48. KoonsKrystalTheDaddysPimp IVAugust 13, 2006

    Rusty all you do is complain about how miserable your white-boy-from-the-suburbs-no-make-that-cape-fricking-cod life is. Move closer to downtown if you don't want to put up with long commute times. You live in Friendship Heights for christ's sake, what do you expect?!?!? Maybe this blog should be renamed to IamWhiteAndLiveInTonyFriendshipHeightsThereforeEverythingShouldBePerfectForMe.com

  49. I live smack in the middle of Columbia Heights, and it's still a bitch and a half to get anywhere after about 10pm. I'm a woman, so I don't walk alone late at night for fear of being assaulted (don't tell me I'm paranoid: statistics are on my side), I'm too broke for a cab, the bus schedule is erratic at best, and some asshole stole my bike right out of my back yard (they hacksawed off my "unbreakable" bike lock). If you're not wealthy enough to (a) own (and park and insure) a car, (b) consistently take a cab, and/or (c) live within safe/reasonable walking distance of the nightlife, you're pretty much screwed for transportation. Good luck!