3.16.2007

More Metro Chicanery

~Yesterday at 6pm, two of the escalator were down at the Dupont South Metro entrance. Again. This was the third straight day that at least two of the three escalator were down. At least Metro listened to my suggestion to have the one working escalator go up instead of down. When all three were out on Tuesday, there was a huge back-up as old people had to stop halfway up to rest. You have to love any system of public transportation that could lead to a massive heart attack.

~After returning home to change, I planned on taking the Friendship Heights Metro for a night out on the town. I needed to stop at an ATM so I planned on walking the extra block to the Western Avenue entrance. Naturally, that option wasn't available to me. The entire entrance had been closed due to a fire. I have lost track of the Metro fires that have occurred in the past few weeks. There have been a lot.

~Special props to the commuters this morning who closed the elevator doors on a lady in a wheelchair. You know, the elevators that are designed especially for people who can't fucking walk. I don't care how full the elevator is or how late you are. If you can walk, get the fuck out. A full elevator of people and every single person refused to delay their commute for 90 seconds for the exact person the elevator was designed for. I forget sometimes that as much as I hate the DC Metro, I hate the DC people with equal vitriol. I bet one of those douche nozzles was wearing a fucking lanyard.

39 comments:

  1. Man...DC sucks. I swear Washington, DC has the highest ASS Hole Per Capita in the country. I bet they were a bunch of motherfucking corporate lawyer and PR types in the elevator. They are late for their morning conference call and they had to catch the red line. God forbid.

    At least I get to boo the Washington Capitals tonight. I love pissing off DC sports fans. GO LEAFS! Go CANADA!

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  2. I'm seven months pregnant, take the orange line every morning, and I've only been offered a seat twice. Both times, it was by another female. I've had men race me for open seats before.

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  3. You’ve hit the nail on the head. What is with people in DC? I’ve lived in Paris and Los Angeles, and I’ve never encountered so many jackasses until I moved here. I can handle Metro fiascos because I generally support public transportation, but jerks? I can’t abide. Here’s an example of the attitude of people in this city: The other day, I was walking umbrella-less in the rain at night. I stopped at a 4-way Stop sign to make sure no cars were around, saw that one car was about 50 feet from stopping at same Stop sign, and judged that it was okay to proceed onto the crosswalk. Guess what? The driver HONKED at me! Gave me a look like why the fuck are you crossing in front of me? Correct me if I’m wrong, but the person who gets to the Stop sign first generally gets to go first, right? Never mind that that person happens to be a 110-pound pedestrian getting soaked in the rain.

    I’d also like to make a plea for people who insist on carrying huge bags on to the trains. If it’s crowded, please take your bag off your shoulder and set it on the floor. Please. It creates more room, and you have less chance of someone sticking their hand in it and ripping you off. Dumb asses.

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  4. Metro commuters. Seriously though, it's not just DC. But to add to the anger here, I'll share this gem: the other AM I saw a man ask a woman to scoot over so he could have the isle seat-for whatever reason she said no. After she stood up to let him into the window seat, he placed his 2 giant backpacks next to him and stole her isle seat. The woman gave him a “are you kidding me look,” to which the man replied with a “yea I’m a jerk” look. I could detect a smidge of homicidal rage in her sneer at him. Pretty crappy move--straight up stealing someone’s seat during rush hour. Rusty, I wonder-do you think those miserable pseudo-briefcase luggage things are as bad in other cities? Man I hate those things!

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  5. truth speakerMarch 16, 2007

    Many of the assholes you all describe are not NATIVES to this area but are TRANSPLANTS who think they are the shit because they live in DC now and make more money than they ever would back in the small piece of shit bubblefuck towns they are all from.

    Those assholes are the problem. Not the DC natives. I suggest implementing PUSH A TRANSPLANT DOWN THE ESCALATOR MONDAYS. Every Monday during the morning and evening commutes. Entertainment and fun for all of the natives at the expense of all of the evil snobbish transplant douchebag pieces of shit and scum.

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  6. redraiderdcMarch 16, 2007

    This was a good post and all but I'd rather hear about Rusty's night out on the town.

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  7. Can Tuesdays be PUSH A HILL STAFFER DOWN THE ESCALATOR? any or every day? because they are the stars of DC Douchebaginess. (and they conveniently come with lanyards too)

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  8. Wheelchair lady should have waken up earlier.

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  9. 1. F*uck getting off the elevator - Survival of the fittest.

    2. Getting off may have meant being on an escalator for 5 minutes (wheaton) and missing a train. Missing one train can delay a person a whole hour.

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  10. Right on. DC natives are generally ok. I had the Metro doors close on me once while visiting home, and some woman actually came over and helped pry them back open.

    I grew up here with a bunch of decent people who had normal-sized egos and a strong tendency to not be assholes. Know what most of us did after college? We left. All the non-asshole people go and maintain low profiles in other cities while the asshole transplants or the local overly self-important rich kids take our place.

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  11. Man, you guys are whiners. I grew up in DC and I'm now in NYC, where the subways not only don't have elevators or escalators (and are covered in vomit/urine 100% of the time), but where everyone is a professional asshole. You all need to thank your stars and stop thinking it's so bad that there are people who don't act all polite and thank you ma'am on that bourgeois metro.

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  12. But I'll take your piss encrusted subway anyday to live in a real city!!! see Metro might be clean, but it's a cover up for the 1000 other ways this city BLOWS MONKEY KONG.

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  13. Hey Rusty when are you available and what is your schedule on Tuesday mornings? Would you be willing to co-push a hill staffer down a Dupont Circle escalator with me sometime? Those escalators are pretty damn high.

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  14. Rainy days are the best. Extra slippery and slick escalator surfaces. :)

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  15. I agree. The people who ride metro are stupid. A few weeks ago I was taking the orange line to Courthouse. This little old man got on who had a cane and could barely walk. I managed to find a seat close to the door but not close enough. Upon his stop in Rosslyn he waited for the train to come to a complete stop, got up and starting walking to the door. Since he was struggling to walk he got to the door just as it closed, with him between the doors. Several men rushed to his help and someone hit the emergency switch to contact the driver to open the doors. They managed to get him out and just as he was about to be on his way some complete, PR-looking know-it-all asshole from was in the train stuck his head out the door and said in a pissed-off thanks-for-making-me-late voice "Sir next time make sure you get up before the train stops and opens the doors". I could not believe it! The man was using a cane and could barely walk, who the fuck was he supposed to get up and make his way to the door while the train is moving? I have a hard time making it to the door before the train stops because the stupid drivers don't know how to apply brakes who the hell was an old man with a can going to manage to do that? I kept looking at the guy thinking "What a complete full of himself asshole!" That poor old man got crushed in the doors and then this jerk has the nerve to tell him off as if he did something wrong! I almost said something to the asshole but bit my tongue and went into work completely steaming about the stupid people who ride metro.

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  16. Gino the ginnyMarch 16, 2007

    PR-looking know-it-all asshole

    True. I cant stand filthy stinking Puerto Ricans either.

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  17. Just live on the green line. Its cleanliness and reliability more than makes up for your increased chances of getting stabbed.

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  18. Makes me glad that I've been back home in Florida for two weeks and that, for all of its problems and "backwardness" that so many in DC have told me exists in "The South", I only have to spend another six weeks finishing my MA until I can move back here permanently.

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  19. Can Wednesdays be reserved for pushing DC public school students down the escalators?

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  20. This post provides an interesting contrast to what i've been experiencing in San Francisco. I moved here about 6 months ago and the people are actually FRIENDLY. At first it really took me by surprise and it was weird getting used to. But seriously, DC people really ARE assholes and I can't imagine any of the things described in these comments happening out here!

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  21. Hey for all you lucky bastards living in NYC, SF, LA, Miami, Boston...wherever there's a real city....KISS MY ASS. Stop bragging. This is OUR place to wallow.

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  22. Push a DC BLOGGER down the escalator on Thursdays. Females are not exempt either. :)

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  23. hippest of the hipstersMarch 17, 2007

    Please dont forget to leave Friday solely for the hipsters.

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  24. I think Monday's should be "Make Yuppie Lawyers Run Up the Down Escalator Day" Make those fuckers sweat on their way to work.

    And yes...real DC natives are more sane and polite than the transplant ass holes.

    Remember the kid in your classroom who had to get straight A's? Remember the kid who got involved in every school activity from class officer to Habitat for Humanity so it would look good for college admissions? Remember the kid who would bitch to high heaven about getting a B+ on a term paper? Remember the kid who would spend thousands of dollars to get that 1400 SAT score? Remember kid who would only take AP courses and ridicule other kids who weren't up to his academic standards? Remember the kid who's idea of cool music is the Dave Matthews Band.

    Yes, that ass hole and thousands like him wound up here in Washington, DC. This town is the universal epicenter for ambitious, book-smart, and resume-driven people who lack any compassion for fellow human beings. Washington, DC has the highest per capita people with graduate and professional college degrees; but we also have the highest per capita of ass holes as a result.

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  25. Handi-capable people (or persons with disabilities) are just as capable of waiting in line as everyone else, Rusty. They are not limited by what you might refer to as their "disabilities."

    I'm surprised by your ignorance.

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  26. I just returned from DC after visiting a friend for a day. It is pretty damn annoying. The people are the exact same type, and I love this blog. Too damn funny

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  27. Amen to what IHATEYUPPIES said; my friends and I (natives all) summed it up by saying that the transplants are all former student council presidents. Lord knows what happens when you get that set of egos pushing up against each other. Except it's not funny when they take over your bar or neighborhood or city.

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  28. Get a fricking bike, Rusty. My blood pressure has dropped back into normal range since I no longer have to contest with all the other douchbag twatwaffles on the Metro every morning and eve.

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  29. PUSH A DC BLOGGER DOWN THE ESCALATOR

    I like the sound of that.

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  30. So Rusty is supposed to ride a bike 10 miles to work every day in the summer because Metro can't get it's act together? Explain that please?

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  31. Mayday...

    Mayday...

    Mayday...

    Rusty are you there?

    Please check in please.

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  32. Maybe Rusty was pushed down the Friendship Heights station escalator.

    Maybe he was kidnapped by the Late Night Shots crew. The poor guy must be locked in some cage in the basement of Smith Point.

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  33. metrobusdriverssuckMarch 20, 2007

    Ok I thought the special props to the idiots who wouldn't let the wheelchair was right on par with DC and the idiots that jam onto the metro when there clearly is no more room.

    A suggestion for your blog that will hopefully make Metro wake the fuck up.

    Can you have a section for people to write down the number from the bus that blocks the damn intersection on your way home from work. Some of us idiots who drive see the same buses go through the red light only to block both directions of the light that has turned green.

    Thanks idiot. Do metto bus drivers get paid by the number of intersectoins they block each night? It's not like the dumbass is going to get off his shift any sooner by trying to beat that one light.

    Maybe if we start calling these buses out by number the idiots at Metro will have a chat with their drivers. Who by the way most of the buses are completely fricking empty.

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  34. push an obnoxious dc transplant down the escalator

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  35. I stopped at a 4-way Stop sign to make sure no cars were around, saw that one car was about 50 feet from stopping at same Stop sign, and judged that it was okay to proceed onto the crosswalk. ... Correct me if I’m wrong, but the person who gets to the Stop sign first generally gets to go first, right?
    Actually as a pedestrian you have the right of way, even if you arrived at the stop sign after mr. jerkwad (not that I recommend doing that). so let him honk all he wants.

    A-hole story this a.m. At Union station, a train pulled up and it was packed. took five minutes to squeeze in all the bodies. some, including me, decided to wait for the next train, which was coming in *1 minute* and this guy in a trenchcoat scoots in a the doors are shutting -- we're talking a packed train. his briefcase got caught, so he had to squeeze that through. And then he leaned on the door, ensuring it took another two minutes for the train to move. why don't people understand the "stand clear of the doors" message?

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  36. AnonymousJuly 31, 2007

    I just moved here from NY. You "native" people are crazy! DC is a melting pot. It has been since before you were born! Maybe you should stop stereotyping all those "yuppie assholes" that had to bust ass to get where they are. And no, I am not one of them. I don't work in PR or make that kind of money. So stop whining and grow some balls. AND If I saw someone yell at an old man that got stuck I would say something to them!!!!!!!!!!!111

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