In Which I Defend This Stupid City

Sometimes, when bored, I'll troll through hyper-conservative blogs for a good laugh. These blogs tend to be mean-spirited and paranoid and are therefore hilarious. One such blog is Ace of Spades HQ. This one attracts a lot of crazies in their comment threads. However, special hat-tip to Ace for directing me towards this story:

Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-TX) introduced the District of Columbia Personal Protection Act of 2007, a bill to restore Second Amendment rights in Washington, D.C.

“The constitutional rights of law-abiding citizens do not end when they cross into the borders of the District of Columbia,” said Sen. Hutchison.

“The gun ban has been proven ineffective by the trend of increased violent crime in the District. The citizens of Washington, D.C., deserve to have the same right to defend themselves and their families in their homes that lawful Americans enjoy.

This puts me in the uncomfortable position of defending DC. Despite my personal belief that the District's gun ban is unconstitutional, I still hope that someone kickes Senator Hutchison (R-Cunt) in the forehead.

"The gun ban has been proven ineffective by the trend of increased ciolent crime in the District?" The only way to describe that statement is as an ugly lie. I know she's a Republican and all, but I would expect just a scosh of honesty from someone in the"great deliberative body." How fucking naive is that? Like, at least have the decency to tell a half-truth.

Senator Hutchison, since you, your staffers, and your interns are too lazy to do a fucking rudimentary Google search, here's DC's violent crime record. Almost all violent crime has been cut in half over the past 15 years. So by "trend of increased crime," you really meant "drastically reduced crime." It's a mistake that could happen to anyone. Ha, just kidding. It could only happen to liars.

My problems with DC crime are that no one really gives a shit unless a white dude is getting murdered in Georgetown. If four black people are killed in one night in Shaw, no one cares. If a dozen or so black people are killed throughout the city in ten days in July, no one cares. But, white dude, stop the fucking presses. And yes I know that the Post is reporting the story that's more shocking, but I still wish people would give a crap about what's going on in Northeast or on the other side of the Anacostia. That's my problem. But I'm not a moron who actually thinks the crime is getting worse. That would be hella stupid.

Readers, if you think me defending DC is hilarious, here's the Ace of Spades comment thread. I like to think of it not as defending the city, but rather as correcting an old antiquated sterotype that people who have never been to the city hold on to. Yes, I know I misspelled Sen. Hutchison's name. It wasn't on purpose, but it's not like she deserves to have her name spelled correctly anyways.