3.30.2007

In Which I Defend This Stupid City

Sometimes, when bored, I'll troll through hyper-conservative blogs for a good laugh. These blogs tend to be mean-spirited and paranoid and are therefore hilarious. One such blog is Ace of Spades HQ. This one attracts a lot of crazies in their comment threads. However, special hat-tip to Ace for directing me towards this story:

Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-TX) introduced the District of Columbia Personal Protection Act of 2007, a bill to restore Second Amendment rights in Washington, D.C.

“The constitutional rights of law-abiding citizens do not end when they cross into the borders of the District of Columbia,” said Sen. Hutchison.

“The gun ban has been proven ineffective by the trend of increased violent crime in the District. The citizens of Washington, D.C., deserve to have the same right to defend themselves and their families in their homes that lawful Americans enjoy.

This puts me in the uncomfortable position of defending DC. Despite my personal belief that the District's gun ban is unconstitutional, I still hope that someone kickes Senator Hutchison (R-Cunt) in the forehead.

"The gun ban has been proven ineffective by the trend of increased ciolent crime in the District?" The only way to describe that statement is as an ugly lie. I know she's a Republican and all, but I would expect just a scosh of honesty from someone in the"great deliberative body." How fucking naive is that? Like, at least have the decency to tell a half-truth.

Senator Hutchison, since you, your staffers, and your interns are too lazy to do a fucking rudimentary Google search, here's DC's violent crime record. Almost all violent crime has been cut in half over the past 15 years. So by "trend of increased crime," you really meant "drastically reduced crime." It's a mistake that could happen to anyone. Ha, just kidding. It could only happen to liars.

My problems with DC crime are that no one really gives a shit unless a white dude is getting murdered in Georgetown. If four black people are killed in one night in Shaw, no one cares. If a dozen or so black people are killed throughout the city in ten days in July, no one cares. But, white dude, stop the fucking presses. And yes I know that the Post is reporting the story that's more shocking, but I still wish people would give a crap about what's going on in Northeast or on the other side of the Anacostia. That's my problem. But I'm not a moron who actually thinks the crime is getting worse. That would be hella stupid.

Readers, if you think me defending DC is hilarious, here's the Ace of Spades comment thread. I like to think of it not as defending the city, but rather as correcting an old antiquated sterotype that people who have never been to the city hold on to. Yes, I know I misspelled Sen. Hutchison's name. It wasn't on purpose, but it's not like she deserves to have her name spelled correctly anyways.

25 comments:

  1. transplants go get lost in southeastMarch 30, 2007

    I remember the late 80's and early 90's very well.

    All these current yuppie and hipster flip flop wearing transplants, walk my dog late at night douchebags and blogger types would have absolutely urinated in their pants out of fear while doing something as simple as just walking down the street.

    People were being shot all over town left and right. Many times for absolutely no reason at all.

    1991. the year poor black and latino youth all came together and started rioting.

    Good times.

    ReplyDelete
  2. YES DC UNFUCKWITHABLE BACK THEN

    OUR BASKETBALL TEAM WAS NAMED THE BULLETS

    BERNARD K. THREATENED TO SHOOT COACH UNSELD ONE DAY AFTER PRACTICE

    OUR TEAM MASCOT URINATED ON AN OPPOSING PLAYERS SHOE AND THEN TRIED TO BITE HIM

    MURDER CAPITAL

    TIMMY LOVED JUDAS PRIEST!!!!!!!

    R.I.P. TINY BB

    ReplyDelete
  3. yournamehereMarch 30, 2007


    Surely we disagree with her without calling her a bitch. We don't know her personally so that's a bit uncalled for.

    ~Rusty


    Yeah, I know it's another thread.
    Gotta say, Rusty, I'm with you on the lying being despicable.
    But cunt? Seriously?

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  4. That blogger is some lady who I don't know stating her opinions. Senator Hutchison is an elected official who is lying about where we live to sucker her constituents into supporting her. It's immoral and shameful.

    Cunt Cunt Cunt

    ~Rusty

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  5. transplants go get lost in southestMarch 30, 2007

    I miss Tiny. Whatever happened to him? Did he get shot?

    ReplyDelete
  6. lincolnparkerMarch 30, 2007

    Well in the Senator's defense, perhaps she was alluding to the overall rise in crime since the ban was enacted. I guess that would make sense.

    And even if it's a lie I wouldn't call her a "cunt."

    Dude, you live somewhere around Friendship Heights and you put on a sweater vest to go out in Georgetown, right?

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  7. I only go to Georgetown like, once or twice a year. I hate it.

    And the "c-word" is just that. A silly word.

    ~Rusty

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  8. NAW HE GOT CAUGHT UP IN THAT STREET LIFE YOU KNOW HOW IT BE.







    TIMMY LOVED JUDAS PRIEST!!!!!!!

    R.I.P. TINY BB

    ReplyDelete
  9. Loves the Word CuntMarch 30, 2007

    She's the tip of the cunt-berg in Congress. But well done Rusty.

    I was here in the 90's and it was a scary shit show. But I still walked down 14th and Rhode Island, just had to step over the crack whores and dead pimps on my way!

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  10. I noticed you mentioned Eastern market in the context of SE. I thought Eastern market was in NE?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Justin,

    Nope, SE.

    ~Rusty

    Loves the word,

    I was literally on 14th and Rhode Island 20 minutes ago for my lunch break. Not the greatest neighborhood, but not so dangerous that I would need a gun.

    ~Rusty

    Friday,

    <3

    ~Rusty

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  12. lincolnparkerMarch 30, 2007

    Nope, it's just below independence avenue on 7th street. def. southeast

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  13. Loves the Word CuntMarch 30, 2007

    Rusty, before you were old enough to start wanking off, 14th and RI was a shit hole. It's now Gentrified Gaytown. I was refering to the previous posts discussing when DC was REALLY dangerous....PAY ATTENTION!

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  14. C-word! I'm telling your Mom.

    What are you now, some sort of blogging shock-jock. The J-word is accepted.

    I bet you wouldn't have the b-words to say it in front of your Mom.

    It's a very special button you should avoid pressing. A lot like the N-word and F-word that you find so indefensible.

    III

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  15. I'm with your dad.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Rusty is in trouble with his dad! OMG!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Dracula CuntMarch 30, 2007

    I love cunts. And gentrification.

    So, how bout those TOURISTS? Eh?

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  18. DONT GET MAD

    NUKE THE BASTARDS

    ReplyDelete
  19. I was literally on 14th and Rhode Island 20 minutes ago for my lunch break. Not the greatest neighborhood, but not so dangerous that I would need a gun.

    Rusty, as a definite fan of yours, I have to tell you I'm disappointed. 14th and Rhode Island? Are you kidding? What's even remotely frightening about that location, save for the grotesque number of enormous rats a block away and the one or two homeless guys begging for change outside the convenience store? I mean, REALLY. Those condos are outrageously priced and gay males are 99% of the population in that area. It's incredibly yuppie/swanky. And, I beg to differ, I think it's a pretty decent neighborhood. I live about 3 blocks away. What makes it "not the greatest neighborhood"? Sure as hell beats a lot of other areas in DC. And it's ten times safer than Dupont... You'd be hard pressed to find a nicer neighborhood outside of what I call "The Silent Suburbs." It's as good as city life gets here.

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  20. Seriously, Rusty, Logan Circle was sketchy maybe six years ago, and downright bad ten years ago, but it's ground zero for urban gentrification today.

    18th Street at 1:00 am on a Saturday? That's where you need that gun.

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  21. I'm sorry but you must be thinking Rhode Island Ave in general and not the specific corner on 14th St. It's still pretty shady. I have family living on Montana Ave right by there and it is not a place where you'd want to walk alone at night without being paranoid. That's like saying H St in NE is nice just because someone stuck up a lot of bars frequented by white people and because a few white folks are catching the X2.
    Then again where in DC can you really let your guard down? Things are getting a bit better but soon I won't be able to affor dliving in any of the newly "crime free" areas. boo.

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  22. You're right about H street -- it was a total landgrab and a PR effort that gentrified the neighborhood at a completely unnatural pace (...can anything actually gentrify naturally??). I'm actually surprised there isn't more cirme there.

    But as for 14th And RI, you seriously have no idea what you're talking about. If you had seen that corner at any point in the 90's, you'd know why. Hookers on Thomas and Logan Cirlces, shootings outside of nightclubs. Your greater danger today is getting run over by Virginians on their way to the Vegas Lounge.


    it' not safe, and it gentrified way too fast You have no idea what you're talking about.

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  23. PLease describe the area you speak of when it comes to Rhode ISland Ave. I have a feeling we must be talking about two different areas.
    I'm thinking by Montana Ave near the Cluck U and one of the crappiest grocery store ever.

    ReplyDelete