One of the things I love about the Washington, DC area is Wolf Trap. It's a gorgeous venue that allows you to bring your own booze. Perfection.
I've only been twice. I saw Journey there in 2005. We bought cans of Budweiser and watched all of the obese rednecks in black t-shirts with wolves on them move to the beat of "Lights." My roommate at the time wore a mullet wig, a wife beater, and literally wrapped himself in the American flag. He pulled a girl's number dressed like that.
Last year I saw Fiona Apple and it was an amazing experience for me because, well, I'm a sap. I totally shed a few tears when she played "I Know." Maybe not one of the best shows I've ever seen, but certainly one of my favorites. She played 80% of When the Pawn! If you don't like that album then you really need to reevaluate things.
I look forward to shows at the Wolf Trap because I find the venue so appealing. I know that its acts skew towards older audiences, but whenever they get someone interesting I become incredibly excited. I've been waiting since October to see who'd be playing there this summer.
This year's schedule is so disappointing. What a shit show. The only contemporary act, unless you're counting Travis Tritt (and we aren't), is Joss Stone and Common. My hatred for Joss Stone knows no bounds. That White Stripes cover she did is grounds for eternal banishment.
Look at the rest of these bands. Hootie and the Blowfish!? Huey Lewis and the News? Chicago? It's like Wolf Trap called up my mom and asked her every lame band she's liked since 1970. Steely Dan was awesome thirty years ago. Now, they are elderly. And no disrespect to Aretha, but I can't imagine her putting on a very lively performance. And, Jesus Christ. Vince Gill and Amy Grant!? I hate to spoil it for all you fans, but I bet they play "House of Love" as their encore. I'm not linking to the lyrics to that musical abortion because they are insipid and the song will just end up stuck in your head and I don't want to do that to you. I'm looking out for my readers. If Tony Snow's cancer was a song, it would be "House of Love." It eats away at the very core of who you are.
But, hey, we can see The Beach Boys minus Brian Wilson. I'm sure that'll be awesome. At least when I saw The Beach Boys in first grade they could offer me Jesse Kastopolis on drums. (He brought out his girlfriend Paula Abdul to slow dance to Surfer Girl. It was awesome.)
I don't look forward to the humid summers here. I don't look forward to the hordes of tourists that will descend upon us like fanny-pack wearing locusts. Summers here suck. But I looked forward to the Wolf Trap and this is what I get in return. Fuck that noise. Is Nissan Pavilion Metro accessible?