3.27.2007

Crappy Summer Ahead

One of the things I love about the Washington, DC area is Wolf Trap. It's a gorgeous venue that allows you to bring your own booze. Perfection.

I've only been twice. I saw Journey there in 2005. We bought cans of Budweiser and watched all of the obese rednecks in black t-shirts with wolves on them move to the beat of "Lights." My roommate at the time wore a mullet wig, a wife beater, and literally wrapped himself in the American flag. He pulled a girl's number dressed like that.

Last year I saw Fiona Apple and it was an amazing experience for me because, well, I'm a sap. I totally shed a few tears when she played "I Know." Maybe not one of the best shows I've ever seen, but certainly one of my favorites. She played 80% of When the Pawn! If you don't like that album then you really need to reevaluate things.

I look forward to shows at the Wolf Trap because I find the venue so appealing. I know that its acts skew towards older audiences, but whenever they get someone interesting I become incredibly excited. I've been waiting since October to see who'd be playing there this summer.

This year's schedule is so disappointing. What a shit show. The only contemporary act, unless you're counting Travis Tritt (and we aren't), is Joss Stone and Common. My hatred for Joss Stone knows no bounds. That White Stripes cover she did is grounds for eternal banishment.

Look at the rest of these bands. Hootie and the Blowfish!? Huey Lewis and the News? Chicago? It's like Wolf Trap called up my mom and asked her every lame band she's liked since 1970. Steely Dan was awesome thirty years ago. Now, they are elderly. And no disrespect to Aretha, but I can't imagine her putting on a very lively performance. And, Jesus Christ. Vince Gill and Amy Grant!? I hate to spoil it for all you fans, but I bet they play "House of Love" as their encore. I'm not linking to the lyrics to that musical abortion because they are insipid and the song will just end up stuck in your head and I don't want to do that to you. I'm looking out for my readers. If Tony Snow's cancer was a song, it would be "House of Love." It eats away at the very core of who you are.

But, hey, we can see The Beach Boys minus Brian Wilson. I'm sure that'll be awesome. At least when I saw The Beach Boys in first grade they could offer me Jesse Kastopolis on drums. (He brought out his girlfriend Paula Abdul to slow dance to Surfer Girl. It was awesome.)

I don't look forward to the humid summers here. I don't look forward to the hordes of tourists that will descend upon us like fanny-pack wearing locusts. Summers here suck. But I looked forward to the Wolf Trap and this is what I get in return. Fuck that noise. Is Nissan Pavilion Metro accessible?

41 comments:

  1. The WHITE STRIPES are basically a rip off band. They are rip offs of ELDERLY bands. You mock ELDERLY bands but many of your favorite present day bands do nothing original. In fact they rip off boomers. They try to dress they way baby boomers did back in the day and they try to rock the way baby boomers did back in the day but they dont even come close. They all suck. GENERATION Y is the least musicaly talented generation in history.

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  2. You're just upset that they passed over Nickelback.

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  3. Hate on the boomers all you want RUSTY but the fact remains that your worthless generation has produced nothing! BRITNEY SPEARS along with an endless supply of shitty annoying EMO bands. Billions of thug rapper trash. Retarded nu-metal garbage combined with wannabe retro rocker hipster bands that do nothing but rip off bands from the 60's and 70's. Dont even get me started on JUSTIN FUCKING TIMBERLAKE!!!!!!!!

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  4. 1. I like Justin Timberlake

    2. I prefer older music too. Good older music. Huey Lewis and Chicago need not apply.

    3. Can we stop with the charade that my generation, whatever that means, hasn't produced any decent music. If today's music doesn't suit your tastes, fine. There is no way anyone can win an argument over objectively good or bad music (unless it's Nickelback) so please keep that opinion to yourself. Surely we can all agree that the Wolf Trap schedule leaves a lot to be desired.

    ~Rusty

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  5. I know you know Nissan isn't Metro accessible. What you may not know is that it isn't really accessible unless you know a guy with a chopper. In the 15 years (or so) that it's been open, the finest of the PWCPD have yet to figure out traffic control that doesn't involve a shrug of the shoulders and a scratch of the ass. Go early, get parked, then plan to seriously take three hours to leave the parking lot at the end of the show. And please don't say you'd go see Jimmy Buffett.

    And hate all you want on Huey but at least it's still Huey. Where's Steve Perry? Where's Peter Cetera?

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  6. Not summer, but Guy Clark is there in April. I think he's old enough to be my grandfather but he's great.

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  7. that pat mcgee and carbon leaf show will be good. but i take your point; most of that list is shit. at least you'll get a chance to see garrison keillor and the prairie 'phobe companion.

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  8. Fiona Apple? Newsflash, Rusty, you like 35-year-old soccer mom music. Which is fine for pulling MILFS and all, but doesn't exactly establish your musical credibility

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  9. Fiona Apple is not soccer-mom music. Journey is, though. It reminds them of their high-school days.

    And Rusty, your friend who wore the "costume" to the Journey show sounds like an "ironic" dork. Journey sucks, ironically or not. Seriously. Huey Lewis > Journey.

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  10. I must disagree regarding Journey. I know they're lame and their new stuff is terrible, but they knew how to write a hit single. And my friend was being sort of ironic. The American flag was a bit much, but he likes Journey very unironically. He has their shit on vinyl.

    As for Fiona Apple, that show was filled with angsty 15-yr-olds, not soccer moms.

    Granted a lot of people don't like Journey and Fiona Apple, but a lot of people my age do. It would be nice to see my demographic represented.

    ~Rusty

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  11. Here are current lists of summer acts for the other large pavilions in the area:

    Nissan:
    Dave Matthews
    Allman Bros
    Ashlee Simpson
    Kelly Clarkson
    Def Leppard
    Brad Paisley
    KC & the Sunshine Band
    Poison
    Mary J Blige
    Kenny Chesney
    John Fogerty & Willie Nelson
    Jimmy Buffett
    Marc Anthony
    Ozzfest
    Warped Tour
    Steely Dan
    311
    Rascal Flatts
    Family Values Tour
    Roger Waters
    Toby Keith

    Merriweather:
    Fallout Boy
    Cyndi Lauper
    The Fray
    Kenny Chesney


    Wolf Trap has never been a big hard rock or pop venue. While there are a couple of acts playing at the other sites I would like to see at Wolf Trap, it's not like there is some big disparity here. It looks like this summer concert season is going to blow no matter where you are watching it from.

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  12. BTW- if you are loking for simple fun, H&tB is actually a good live show. They are essentially a really good college cover band.

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  13. a friend of my used to work at wolftrap. and she has this great little story about being there during a concert when this elderly guy comes up to her and he says "can you help me please? i just crapped my pants." and she looked down and sure enough, he had shit himself. so she had to go find some new clothes or something for this guy and he sat in an office with her the whole night while she was subjected to smelling old man poo.

    moral of the story: there may actually be a need for snl's "oops i crapped my pants." or Depends.

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  14. You left off "Heaven and Hell" (Black Sabbath with Dio instead of Ozzy) and Megadeth. They're playing Merriweather.

    ~Rusty

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  15. I like to go to Fiona Apple concerts and eat big, fat, turkey legs. MMm mmm turkey is GOOD EATIN'!

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  16. I'm reminded of a Green Day interview I read almost 10 years ago in which Billie Joe called Hootie & the Blowfish a "good time band for people who don't know how to have a good time." SSSSNAP!!

    Pink Martini are incredible live, so are the Gipsy Kings. Who doesn't think of "The Big Lebowski" whenever they hear the Gipsy Kings?

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  17. Wolf Trap traditionally releases a preliminary schedule this time of year, and adds performers as the season goes on. On their site (www.wolftrap.org) they state:
    Check back on April 9 for more additions to the summer performance schedule.

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  18. To Anon on Gypsy Kings: "Nobody fucks with The Jesus"

    Rusty: You mean angsty 15-year old girls arent your scene? I bet you DID enjoy that show....

    I wish Hootie and Dave Matthews would play a show together and the apocalypse would occur.

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  19. All I need is the 9:30 Club and Black Cat. I gave up on outdoor venues like Nissan and Meriweather a long time ago. Wolf Trap is not bad.

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  20. Remember the OAR show like four years ago at Wolf Trap? The place was trashed and the police response made it into the Post. If I remember correctly, the article made Wolf Trap look really uptight and not a fun place to go see a concert.

    Perhaps Wolf Trap is shying away from more popular bands because of its previous bad experiences?

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  21. YO HUEY LEWIS IS ON THE BACK TO THE FUTURE SOUNDTRACK AND IN THE MOVIE WHEN THAT WHITEBOY IS SKATEBOARDING DOWN THE STREET HOLDING ON TO THE PICKUP TRUCK

    HUEY GETS A LIFETIME GHETTO PASS IN SOUTHEAST/NORTHEAST FROM ME

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  22. Go check out the mainpage of wolftrap.org. More shows are being announced April 9.

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  23. Elderly?!? Boy, are you in for it on your next visit home.

    As I recall, you preferred all of your parents' oldie music (Doors, Beatles, etc.) to what your peers enjoyed. Probably just to be contrary. Maybe because the best part of them were already D-E-A-D.

    By the way, just bought Chicago CD's. I'll let you groove to them sometime.

    III

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  24. Hey, III

    Rob bought me a Chicago CD for Christmas. Haven't opened it. Ignorance is bliss.

    I wasn't being contrary. My peers were listening to Limp Bizkit and Korn and the like. The Doors, who I now think suck, were a substantial upgrade.

    ~Rusty

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  25. A big upside to Wolf Trap is that you can bring in your own beer and wine. Instead of spending $6 or more a beer and waiting in line for it, you can watch more of the show and not spend a ton.

    Morrissey is at Wolf Trap in July!

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  26. The Pavillion is awesome. W/ your connections, you could totally meet someone who drives a car.

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  27. The Decemberists are playing a show with the Baltimore Symphone Orchestra at Merriweather on July 14th. Hasn't be officially anounced, although they mentioned it at their show on Monday at Strathmore (sweet place to see a show). That should be a good show.

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  28. Huey Lewis has fans in southeast?

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  29. Wolftrap is (in my opinion), the only outdoor venue worth going to. I saw Dave Matthews at Nissan once with a seat on the lawn and I didnt even see the band and there were so many drunkards I couldnt hear very well either. There doesn't seem to be a lot going on here music wise on a large scale this summer. All the good bands usually tour in the spring and fall (Genesis at Verizon in Sept.)

    With all that said I'm moving to Buffalo next month were there will be even less bands will be opting to play. Sigh.

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  30. Wolftrap is (in my opinion), the only outdoor venue worth going to. I saw Dave Matthews at Nissan once with a seat on the lawn and I didnt even see the band and there were so many drunkards I couldnt hear very well either. There doesn't seem to be a lot going on here music wise on a large scale this summer. All the good bands usually tour in the spring and fall (Genesis at Verizon in Sept.)

    With all that said I'm moving to Buffalo next month were there will be even less bands will be opting to play. Sigh.

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  31. Wolftrap is (in my opinion), the only outdoor venue worth going to. I saw Dave Matthews at Nissan once with a seat on the lawn and I didnt even see the band and there were so many drunkards I couldnt hear very well either. There doesn't seem to be a lot going on here music wise on a large scale this summer. All the good bands usually tour in the spring and fall (Genesis at Verizon in Sept.)

    With all that said I'm moving to Buffalo next month were there will be even less bands will be opting to play. Sigh.

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  32. Wolftrap is (in my opinion), the only outdoor venue worth going to. I saw Dave Matthews at Nissan once with a seat on the lawn and I didnt even see the band and there were so many drunkards I couldnt hear very well either. There doesn't seem to be a lot going on here music wise on a large scale this summer. All the good bands usually tour in the spring and fall (Genesis at Verizon in Sept.)

    With all that said I'm moving to Buffalo next month were there will be even less bands will be opting to play. Sigh.

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  33. Wolftrap is (in my opinion), the only outdoor venue worth going to. I saw Dave Matthews at Nissan once with a seat on the lawn and I didnt even see the band and there were so many drunkards I couldnt hear very well either. There doesn't seem to be a lot going on here music wise on a large scale this summer. All the good bands usually tour in the spring and fall (Genesis at Verizon in Sept.)

    With all that said I'm moving to Buffalo next month were there will be even less bands will be opting to play. Sigh.

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  34. But Joss Stone fucks for tracks!

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  35. ihateyuppies is right! By time ANY band hits the big outdoor places they are way too played out and unless you are a HUGE fan, it's not worth the many hassles. Although Rob Zombie on the 2nd stage of Ozzfest last year was awesome. However, this year we all should support Ozzfest's FREE ticket promotion. They are getting corporations to foot the entire bill and the tickets are FREE for everyone. Paying $50+ for a show is ridiculous.

    Rock N Roll.

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  36. Man, I miss Live on Penn. Actually, I don't miss Live on Penn so much as I miss that one summer that DC101 had a free concert series. And the only reason I miss any of that is cause I got to see They Might Be Giants for free.

    Of course, now I live in New York, where, hell, I could just go to their houses and hear them play.

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  37. The commenters here have name-dropped OAR, Dave Matthews, Genesis. And everyone says "concert" instead of "show." This is why DC sucks.

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  38. Ri L.,

    TMBG are one of the best shows I have ever seen. My first DC concert and my first show in an indoor venue. They opened for themselves as a fake cover band and played "Flood," an album that I had when I was seven, in its entirety. What a great night.

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  39. Wish I could have seen that. I have good memories of holding a bigass sign and getting on the Jumbotron at the DC101 concert, but that doesn't compare to all of Flood live.

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  40. Ahem. Steely Dan may be old, but you'll never catch Donald Fagen in a sweater vest.

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  41. You know you want to see Riverdance.

    Why you frontin'?

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