Profiting From Charity

Because in DC, everything is for sale.


  1. I'm just glad someone is finally tackling that nasty plague, Caner.

  2. AnonymousJune 16, 2006

    I'm trying to come up w/ something witty, but I'm hung over on a Friday.

    The best I can say is that this helps me to rationalize not giving money to charity. Why would I want to pay for some staffer's sushi dinner tonight?

    Reminds me of the United Way.

    --Krystal Koons

  3. Wow. How unethical.
    But then again my parents are dining with Bush Sr. tonight in Greece. Thats about as un funking ethical as it can get.

  4. ... although "funking" is pretty funny, too

  5. AnonymousJune 17, 2006

    All celebrities get paid for those things...this is nothing typical to DC or new.

  6. I know. But finder's fees are a bit much, don't you think?

  7. AnonymousJune 17, 2006

    Show us your tits, Nadia.

  8. AnonymousJune 19, 2006

    My dad is the former prime minister of Canada, Jean Cretien. We speak French and English and yell loud when we funk.

  9. Gee Rusty, maybe you shouldnt have published those last two.

  10. AnonymousJune 19, 2006


    Open wide. I've got a present for you! Irena, you can watch.

  11. Dammit, anonymous guy who keeps putting up the URL to my old blog....

    Now I have to take it down. AWESOME!

  12. AnonymousJune 20, 2006

    Okay folks, in order to spark some conversation, can we get back to some serious DC/MD/NOVA hating:

    TOP 10 REASONS TO HATE DC, MD AND NOVA (in no particular order):

    10. Traffic and the fact that the politicians who are running this stinking shithole are apathetic to the problem
    9. The pathetic excuse for a mass transit system (what fucking moron would design/build an international airport in a nation’s capital city without a rail system to it?)
    8. The despicable and inflated price of housing that forces too many people to live an unreasonable distance from their offices – thus compounding numbers 10 and nine
    7. Out of control growth that overburdens our schools, roads, hospitals, fire/rescue, etc. and the fact that no one will just say NO to it until the infrastructure is in place FIRST
    6. The weather (too humid and so little rainfall that we're all going to go broke watering our lawns)
    5. The confusing and unmarked road system (you cannot go anywhere here unless you know your way around; god forbid they put up decent ROAD SIGNS to guide you.
    4. The fact that NOVA generates a disproportionate amount of taxes for the state of VA, but it all gets sent south instead of up here where it is needed for reasons stated above
    3. The fact that the politicians care more about the fucking tobacco lobby than the people who put them in office, and therefore will probably never pass a no smoking law for restaurants and bars.
    2. The fact that they can come up with 260 some-odd million dollars for a playground for spoiled rotten, overpaid, steroid enhanced athletes (read: The Nationals), when the The District’s schools are nearly condemned and kids are flunking out; then we have to listen over and over to how broke Metro is, but finally get $20 million in federal funding to upgrade a metro station – FOR A PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL STADIUM. (In other words – “Fuck you commuter; we care more about baseball than you”.)
    1. MS-13 – enough said.

  13. AnonymousJune 20, 2006


    I was a little buzzed on Sunday afternoon and I FAILED to give adequate directions to a tourist trying to get to a university where I had just earned a graduate degree. Yes, the roadways are confusing.

    I told him it's really hard to get in there. He looked at me like I was crazy.

    And another thing. It's way toooo cloudy here. Not enough sunshine. And no jobs! Also, no pretty girls and nobody speaks English.

  14. AnonymousJune 20, 2006

    I'd like to add one more point to this_shithole_stinks' list:

    11) Listening to asshole newbies who think they know what's really wrong with this town when the obviously haven't a clue.

  15. AnonymousJune 20, 2006

    Yeah, it's not so bad--I agree. But at the same time, I can't imagine having lived out my entire life in the same place. How would you know what else is out there to compare this experience to?

  16. AnonymousJune 20, 2006


    Was your sarcasm directed at me? If so, please enlighten us all as to what is REALLY wrong with this place.

    I've visited over 70 countries. Believe me, I'm an authority on what makes a place suck.

  17. AnonymousJune 20, 2006

    the comment on road signs is so true. I've never lived in a place that deliberatly omits roadsigns at intersections. can't DC at least get that one right?

  18. AnonymousJune 20, 2006

    No, I was actually agreeing with you, douche.

    If I'm the anonymous you're talking about. I was directing my sarcasm at the other poster who disagreed with you.

    Oh, how confusing. Getting flamed for agreeing with a guy and now i have to feel inadequate that i'm not the awesome world traveler that he is....

  19. AnonymousJune 20, 2006

    Do tell, Hole. What's your favorite city? I'm looking for ideas....

    When I tell people in NYC where I live they say, "Still." And they say it w/ a really condescending tone.

  20. AnonymousJune 20, 2006

    Sorry, anonymous.

  21. AnonymousJune 20, 2006

    Cape Town

  22. AnonymousJune 20, 2006


    You've lived my dream. Capetown. You are my god. Maybe it's not too unrealistic for me to visit there for awhile.... I almost moved to Seattle three months ago.

    Anywhere but here.

  23. AnonymousJune 20, 2006

    Well, at some point I'd like to live in a foreign country.... As much as I love "America," at least for a few years of my life.

    And now I'm gonna have to get a damn passport to get into frickin' CANADA!

  24. AnonymousJune 21, 2006

    Not saying you don't have some valid points, but most of them either show your ignorance of the real situation or are problems you'll find in any city.

    For example - #10. Yeah, traffic sucks and the politicians seem incapable of solving the problem. Same as in NYC. You know what I've done? I moved into the city center, chucked the car, and use metro/zipcar instead. Kinda like what any sensible person in manhattan would do. Suddenly traffic's not a problem at all. Not to say metro doesn't have its own uniquely DC bullshittery going on... which Rusty's been doing a good job of pointing out.

    #9 - this is idiotic. Quick check on the facts reveals IAD came online nearly 20 years BEFORE metro did. And in case you hadn't noticed - it's way the fuck out there. Does NYC suck because it doesn't have subway access to JFK (or LGA for that matter?). At least we have metro access to DCA... with IAD access somewhere in the future.

    #8 - As a native San Franciscan, I find this one especially stupid. Big city = overpriced real estate. Just the way it is. More unique to DC is how people incessantly talk/whine about it. The people in NYC/SF/LA have lived it long enough that they're used to it.

    #7 - We're actually doing a shitload better than most of the boomtowns you see in the west and south. Ever been to Atlanta? Colorado Springs? Las Vegas? At least we've heard of the term 'controlled growth' around here. Check out what's going on in Loudoun County or Vienna. And Montgomery County has some of the strictest land use laws in the nation.

    #6 - Finally, a hit. DC weather blows.

    #5 - Another hit! Still failing, but not too late to turn this one around.

    #4 - This is true of any state with one (or two) major metro areas. It's even true on a national level, with the northeastern/western states putting way more into the system than the more rural southern/central states. Nothing unique to DC.

    #3 - ummm... they actually passed that law already. Check your facts.

    #2 - another hit. yay corky! 3 outta 10!

    #1 - MS-13? i think that's a salvadoran gang or something? I wouldn't know, because they're more limited to southern fairfax... but god knows that gang violence is truly unique to DC.

    You've lived all over the place? whoopdefuck. What counts is how long you've lived in DC. I've been here for seven years. Not an eternity, but long enough to recognize the root problems of this city. And certainly long enough to know that I'm getting the fuck outta here as soon as I finish up school.

  25. AnonymousJune 21, 2006

    Finally, some constructive debate on why this place is a shithole! Thank you.......even though you do call me ignorant.

    #10 -- DC metro area has the second worst traffic problem in the US. The problem with your solution is that you must be a millionaire to afford a house in DC with enough space for a medium sized family -- unless of course you want to live in SE and put up minor inconveniences such as your children getting hit with stray gunfire and your wife get raped twice a month.

    #9 -- Point taken. HOWEVER......that still doesn't mean they couldn't have put a rail system to it, even though Metro didn't exist. Yes, it's "way the fuck out there". ALL THE MORE REASON TO HAVE PROVIDED SOME SORT OF RAIL SYSTEM TO IT. Also, my main point was how much the mass transit system sucks - not necessarily that they didn't feed it to Dulles. And the mass transit system here does SUCK.

    #8 -- I stand by my comment. Sure, there are more overpriced markets, but the latest study shows that DC/MD/NOVA housing is 38% overpriced. I don't give a fuck about other cities. I'm not making a comparison here - just stating a fact.

    #7 -- Again, maybe we are doing better than other areas, and again -- I don't give a fuck. Our kids are going to school in trailers, our emergency rooms can't handle the load, our fire and rescue is overburdened, and our roads? I won't even go there.

    #6 -- Glad we agree. Strange how it is something that is no one's fault though, and would be impossible to rectify.

    #5 -- Glad we agree.

    #4 -- True, but again, I don't care about other metro areas. It's a problem here, and I have the right to hate this place for it.

    #3 -- They passed that law in DC. Not in Virginia, where the tobacco companies have bought off our politicians with that wonderful legalized bribery we have on Capitol Hill.

    #2 -- I'll emphasize it again because I feel so strongly about it - "Fuck you Washington area commuter!!!! We don't give a rat's anus about you. Let's subsidize the steroid users instead!!!"

    #1 -- Yes, MS-13 is a gang. Currently the worst in the nation. At risk of being blasted as a racist (bring it on), it's because of the heavy El Salvadorian population we have here. That's not to say I have anything against Salvadorians. But I do have something against Salvadorians who are members of MS-13.

  26. AnonymousJune 21, 2006

    Look, you hate DC. This is good. Embrace the hate. But it's misdirected, that's all. Wanna know what I really hate about this city? Nobody's proud to be from DC. Seriously. I've lived here for seven years and I've never met somebody who can say they're a proud Washingtonian. Love or hate Chicago/NYC/LA/SF, there are definitely those who are proud to be from there. Because those cities have a soul, they have character. They have something that makes a person feel at home. DC has been, and probably always will be, an itinerant city. It's the place people move to for their career, for the next step in their life. Once they've made it there, they go on to the next best thing. The only people for whom DC is a final destination are the people currently running this nation (into the ground). Not exactly my kind of people.

  27. AnonymousJune 22, 2006

    Aw c'mon -- you can do better than that. I rebutted your disagreements, but you have failed to prove where I'm wrong on my so called "misdirected hatred".

    On the other hand, I couldn't agree with you more on the fact that no one is proud to be from here. I'm a temporary transplant, so I'm not ashamed to call this place home -- since it's temporary, but in all honesty, why the fuck would anyone be proud to be from this festing cesspool we call our nation's capital?

    Would you be?

    I'm a bit disappointed that this didn't spark a larger discussion. I feel this blog is drifting farther from its original purpose -- the hatred of DC/MD/NOVA. :-(