Apparently, WJLA is reporting that "Metro officials are proposing a new program to bring musical acts, theater and possibly circus performers into the transit system."
First, big hat tip to DCist for directing me to this. I think that's my first ever "h/t." I feel like such a blogger.
Naturally, as the DCist gang is wont to do, they seem pretty excited about this potential change. Here's what DCist Martin (my fave of the gang) had to say:
"If this plan proceeds forward, gone will be the days when Metro stations both looked and felt like cathedrals. In its place will be a transit system that has become just a little bit more lively, a little more inspiring for those of us making the daily slog to and from work."
Everyone knows I am incredibly quick to criticize Metro for their general ineptitude and fuck-uppery. But I don't think that throwing a street musician into the tunnels of West Falls Church is a positive development.
Alright, children, let's really consider the consequences of having musical acts in our subway stations. If you're stumbling home from a happy hour or begrudgingly taking the train at 8am to get to work, are you really going to be in the mood for some unemployed nitwits performing an amateur version of Stomp? If someone is banging a trashcan in my general vicinity at 8am I am going to murder their family.
Do we really want our stations filled with 20-year-old singer-songwriters that sound like John Mayer-lite fishing for their big break?
And theatre? What kind of theatre can you perform for an audience that won't be sticking around for any longer than five minutes?
I present to you the Metro version of the hit play Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead:
Rosencrantz: What the Hell is wrong with this coin?
*Please stand clear of the doors. Thank you.*
This is stupid. Is there really a demand for senseless noise pollution in our Metro stations? Really? Is there anyone out there who honestly believes that Metro would be super-awesome if they had circus performers?
For the love of God, can't I just have my precious silence?