Here's a few LOL Crimes that happened over the weekend...
An ambulance was stolen from outside Howard University Hospital Sunday night. The emergency vehicle was stolen about 8:15 p.m. Sunday and was found about an hour later at North Capitol and Bryant streets, but not before the driver crashed it into a car at Georgia Avenue and Bryant Street.Remember: this is Howard University Hospital we're talking about. The runaway ambulance was probably missing for half the day before anyone back at the hospital noticed. And the theives almost made it all the way to Maryland! As for suspects, I say police should investigate some of the hospital's criminally negligent technicians to see if they're involved in some kind of ambulance chop shop. Throw some hydraulics on there. Fog lights. Spoiler. A window sticker of Calvin pissing on something.
Speaking of pissing, look at what the Washington Post is covering:
A City Council member from Jersey City was arrested over the weekend after patrons at a Northwest Washington nightclub complained that someone had urinated on them from the balcony, according to police and media reports.How's the pale ale, Stiffler? Now who called the Fun Police is what I want to know. I'd like to see more of this quite frankly. Why doesn't this happen more often in places that are rich in targets? I'm looking at you, Adams Morgan. Oh, oh, Georgetown would be good too.
Actually, anyone who's ever been to Jersey City knows that peeing on someone at a bar is a remarkably effective pick-up technique there.