GIVEAWAY: Help me help you dish the hate

Let's talk blog talk for a minute here. Generally, my favorite pieces to write are the more tongue-in-cheek funny stuff, ala the networking blowhard (which is, coincidentally, the most popular piece to ever run on this web site).

The "hard news" style pieces are important if it's a story not getting told elsewhere, but those are more tedious and take a whole lot more time to research and write. Given that this is the real world where most bloggers have day jobs, it's easy to see why there isn't a whole lot more of this in the trenches writing getting published.

Lately I've been wanting to find more first-person stories or problems to write about here. It's all well in good to write about the Metro budget, or about how Vincent Gray needs to grow a pair. However, I want to know what's pissing you off. The hard news or the "hey, DC actually got this right" are great at times, but the bread and butter of this site has always been a good deal of non news-related hating. LNS. Interns. Baseball. So on and so forth.

So.... I'd like to invite you all to submit something that's pissing you off about DC. If it's bothering you, it's probably bothering other people here and it might be worth noting. Leave a comment or send me an email.

On Wednesday, I'll select two people to receive a SUPER TOTALLY AWESOME GIVEAWAY PRIZE. The giveaway prize is to be determined, but it will come from the depths of an unorganized closet at home. Will it be an old press pass to a Howard Dean rally? Maybe! Could it be a Kraftwerk CD without a jewel case? Possibly! I'll even include a hand written note of thanks. It will be hilarious and awesome, I promise. Entries via email or the comments are acceptable, but if you submit anonymously it'll be hard for me to know who you are. Keep that in mind.


  1. Here's something to hate on:

    Another way to hate on Metro, who deserves it again.


    Yeah, when escalators actually work they are the exception, not the rule. Now these stupid mofos all of a sudden find the funds to put this farce of a system in where you scan your ATM or credit card in? As if the system wasn't messaed up enough already. Kids, in 2029 when they finally get it to work, make sure your ATM card and Smartrip card aren't in the same cover holder or whatever the ID holders are. And make sure you still have your cards after you get thrown from the broken down escalator with the 2040 target completion date.

  2. I'd like to hate on the general customer service in DC. I can't handle the fact that pretty much every retailer in DC treats customers like they are doing the customer a favor by serving them. Case in point: the Starbucks across from the Washington Court hotel on NJ Ave. I'm always struck when I go to a coffee shop (or a restaurant, or a copy shop, or pretty much anywhere) outside of DC and I'm treated like a customer rather than an inconvenience.

  3. Protesters. All of them. I don't care whether I agree what they're protesting. They need to stop marching on Capitol Hill; it's a waste of their time because no one in in this city fucking. cares. It's even worse when the protest is rhetorically limp. As an example, take last week's Right to Life protest. Around Union Station and Capitol Hill there was an influx of young, WASP-y, bible-thumping mouth breathers. They all proudly carried the sign, "Women DO regret abortion," as if that's a strong pro-life argument. They clogged Union Station and diverted traffic. Aside from the occasional idle curiosity, passerby couldn't give a flying fuck. The same goes for those who protest US Foreign policy, the World Bank/IMF, healthcare reform, cap and trade, both sides of gay marriage, and miscellaneous tree-hugging hysteria.

    Don't get me wrong - I'm all about the right to assembly, and I don't think we should rewrite the first amendment. I'm just saying most* protests in DC are ineffectual, and instead serve as self-congratulatory twaddle for Midwesterners who harbor the delusion that a ten hour bus ride and stupid placards will influence federal policy. In light of last week's Supreme Court decision, they should instead funnel their resources into a corporation, and buy commercial time during Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

    * Some protests, particularly those massive in scope, can produce positive results. I'm thinking Civil Rights marches, and to a lesser extent, The Million Man March. These large-scale efforts, however, are few and far between.

  4. Those earnest young things that pop up on the sidewalks every summer asking for signatures on whatever issue their non-profit internship is pushing. "Pardon me, do you have a moment for the environment?" No, nor did I have time for the years of earnest young things preceding you. You know what happened to them? They graduated college, couldn't get a job, and are now embittered and they wouldn't sign your damn petition either. Oh and another thing? DC residents don't have a vote in Congress, so if you ask me to contact my congressperson I am likely to shove that pen up your nostril.

  5. It really bothers me to see parents that exploit their young children into participating in political rallies. Case in point: The March for Life. Both sides had toddlers straining to hold up signs with messages they couldn't even read, much less decipher. I think its great when people exercise their right to freedom of speech, but using your children to further your own agenda is neither "cute" nor enriching. Why parents can't just participate on their own and allow their children to grow up and form their own opinion is beyond me. It is disheartening and really creepy to see children so young being forced to "take a stand" on an extremely polarizing issue, the ramifications of which cannot be fully comprehended until one reaches adulthood, or at least reproductive age.

  6. Compared to many other cities, DC seems to be lacking 'culture' that isn't tied into politics or corporations. I know there are great art museums (that are usually free, a nice bonus) but...DC is missing something. Cities I've recently visited (Seattle, L.A., Chicago) all have a spark of life to them that DC doesn't have. Maybe I'm feeling like too much of a pretentious hipster art douche, but aside from the occasional concert, everything seems far too sterile or politically motivated.

    Also, more bitching and moaning about WMATA and not having later hours, etc. If there's a weekday concert going on at the 9:30 Club or something, there's a high change you'll have to leave early if you want to catch the metro before it shuts down for the night. :P

  7. What bothers me about DC? People who wear 'Hoya Lawya' t-shirts. Wow, you went to Georgetown Law?!?!?!

    No one cares.

    (And yes, I realize it's petty.)