A Final Verdict on the New Metro Voice

So, I finally heard the new Metro chimes. I know I'm the last one.

Final verdict: Ehhhh.

I don't really like the "boop" sounds because my brain isn't used to them yet. And the new voice seems weirdly human. I keep looking over my shoulder expecting a stern woman telling me to "stand back" since the doors are about to close. But, overall, hearing the new "door closing" announcement filled me with a profound sense of "whatever." I know I'll get used to it.

Also of note: It's been three straight weekdays with a Red Line Metro delay. Metro is so incompetent that I now have to set my alarm clock 10 minutes earlier just in case the trains switch to one track.

If the Metro messes up again tomorrow, they can expect a strongly worded letter.

That'll show 'em.


  1. Yes, I agree, the voice sounds odd, and not just because I'm not used to it. She talks too much. With her long door announcements and the driver's stop announcements there isn't a single silent moment.
    And that's what I want from my Metro ride. Awkward, anti-social silence to remind me that I'm in DC. Bring it back!

  2. The Metro chimes were on my mind this morning too as the woman rung them at least 20 times at each stop. How pleasant when I havent even had my coffee yet.

  3. AnonymousMay 03, 2006

    what time do you hit that red line, cause i get on at 10 after 8 at the CP and there hasn't been a problem in my recent memory. and if you use it later than I, fuck you for getting to sleep in longer than I.

  4. AnonymousMay 03, 2006

    are you surprised? metro spends money on a new voice, but they can't run enough trains or keep them on time. and what about track work? every weekend... metro is the very definition of dc incompetence and mismanagement

  5. I get up at 8am and get on the Metro at 8:35.

  6. AnonymousMay 03, 2006

    they spent no money paying the owner of the new voice. It was a contest with the only reward being having your voice played about 12,000 times a day on the metro. I imagine some dollars were spent in re-recording it.

    I like the chimes, don't like the voice. It's kind of rushed. The announcements are annoying. I know the train will be moving soon dammit. I know it's stopped because there's another fucking train sitting at the platform.

  7. AnonymousMay 03, 2006

    I wish they'd have different messages. And with the voice of Isaac Hayes. Picture it: "Hey baby, it's time to step back and sit in the love train" or "I'm closin the doors, so step inside and don't crowd my aisle."

  8. AnonymousMay 03, 2006

    I agree with the other poster, I ride the red line very single day and have not had a delay going to work in months. Of course I have to be in to work before you wake up so that might be the problem.... I am glad you are getting a delay if you get to sleep in until 8am. Seriously. It makes me happy.

  9. AnonymousMay 03, 2006

    The new voice lady shoud read an erotic novel or offer oral pleasure to riders when there's a delay over 5 minnutes.

    "Going down on you. Beep bop boop. Stand Back Beep."

  10. AnonymousMay 03, 2006

    I stepped on the green line one time and the conductor went into jive talk. "It's crowded...aint nobody gonna get hurt by bumping into each other." Imagine that at Clarendon.

  11. AnonymousMay 03, 2006

    The fact that your brain is unused to the new chimes is the whole point--it's to grab your attention. Otherwise, it doesn't work.

    Listening to that voice yesterday, I noticed too that it sounded eerily human. Unprofessional. Not like the voice you'd hear on broadcast. In a way, that's a good thing. The person didn't use the typical intonations and all of that used by professional broadcasters. She went down instead of up, et cetera. But in a way, that's kind of artsy. And they got it for free.

    --AKA Douche

  12. AnonymousMay 03, 2006

    I remember back in the late 1990s when the voice used to say (in a very irritated tone) "Stand Clear of the Doors!" And a bunch of people complained that it was "too harsh" and they were "offended" so they changed it to "Please Stand Clear of the Doors". What a joke. Who would be offended by a recorded voice? People are idiots.

  13. My sister is the voice of reason; she might as well be the voice of Metro.

  14. AnonymousMay 03, 2006

    They're lucky that the announcement didn't say, "Get the f*ck out of the way dumbass." I wish a voice would say that when people don't move from in front of the doors as people are getting on, when there is plenty fo room to do so.

    I get on the train at 7 and have seen a few delays. I'm tired of getting of at Medical Center and waiting for the next train because they announce that it will be going from Bethesda to Shafy Grove. WTF?

  15. AnonymousMay 03, 2006

    You gotta love the toolboxes that stand in the damned doorway at lenfant or metro center or the turdnecks that wont move to the center of the train when people are piling in. They hold on to that first pole like it's the titanic sinking.

    Bottom line is the seats need to be totally rearranged...all with the backs to the windows like in NYC.

  16. AnonymousMay 03, 2006

    Wednesday's delay was the simultaneous break down of three trains on the Red Line. I was stuck on one all the way from Friendship Heights starting at about 8:15. One train had already broken down by the time I hit the station, one was stuck at Gallery Place, and one seemed to break down at the Zoo and off-loaded, so they all tried to squeeze onto my train.

  17. The new chimes remind me of being at the airport. I don't like that.

  18. AnonymousMay 03, 2006

    You think it's fucked now? wait until the summer crush comes on Metro

  19. AnonymousMay 04, 2006

    shame on kaavya the plagiarist. you need to devote an entry to her.

  20. No I don't. She's not a DC story.

  21. AnonymousMay 04, 2006

    The robot voiced woman on the blue line drives me fucking bananas.

  22. AnonymousMay 04, 2006

    I voted for the NY design for the new trains. You have just as many seats but more room to maneuver around tools who act as if their feet are set in concrete.

  23. They've speeded up the voice too much, it all runs together:

    And why, oh why, if they can automate the doors opening and closing messages, why can't they automate the "next station" messages? Can anyone understand what the mumbling, bored driver is saying, that is, if they even bother to say it?

  24. AnonymousMay 16, 2006

    My favorite part of the new chimes/announcement is the instruction to "When boarding, ove to the center of the car."

    Next time you get on a Metro train, be sure to enter through the center door (where the no bikes sign is). Position yourself halfway betwen the opposite door,
    right in te middle of the aisle.

    Where are you now?

    My God - you're in the center of the car!