5.04.2006

INS1PID: Genitalia Edition

Obviously, anyone who buys a Hummer has a very small penis. You'd think that with a small penis, you would deflect any and all attention paid to the aforementioned body part. So, why would someone put a license plate that does the exact opposite? A license plate that actually makes you think about their small cock?

Why would a Hummer driver choose "HUMONIT" as their license plate?

I am amazed that Virginia allowed such a ribald plate. I mean, blowjobs are called "hummers" for a reason. Because someone is humming on a penis. A penis referred to as "it" here because penis is a funny/dirty word that wouldn't get past the Virginia DMV. "It" is code for penis. Get it?

What a fucking tool. I am amazed that someone actually turned their pick-up line at Madhatter's into their car's identification.

P.S. penispenispenispenispenispenispenis

21 comments:

  1. AnonymousMay 04, 2006

    You are just jealous because you cannot afford to have one.

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  2. If I won the Powerball, I would not buy a Hummer. I would buy a 1988 Plymouth Horizon.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Don't know if you saw it, but Vanity Fair had a really interesting article about "Hummer Culture."

    And while VA will give a license plate saying HUMONIT, they will not give one saying Gay.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMay 04, 2006

    I'm with you on this one. I want something nice and fast but not so small that I feel like I'm in a cocoon. I will say this:
    Hummer's on the highway = Lame
    Hummer's in DC = not so lame because of the crappy potholes.

    I bet riding in one is the only way you'll get a smooth ride in the city.

    ReplyDelete
  5. hung manMay 04, 2006

    I drive a Hummer and have a dick so big it has its own zip code.

    ReplyDelete
  6. jen turnerMay 04, 2006

    oh so this is what you've been up to

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousMay 05, 2006

    I would have gone for the more classic Dodge Omni. Maybe a '79. Same body, VW manufactured engine.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousMay 05, 2006

    Why do keep saying that word so many times?

    Are you jealous of the pretty lady riding shotgun? You're such a self-righteous p----y.

    That said, I hate the guy too. Just try to stop thinking about other guy's "gear."

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  9. Well, my first car was an '88 Horizon. It lasted five years and two accidents (one major). It had less than 100hp and the doors didn't open. I miss that car so much.

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  10. My first car was a Passat. I loved that car. It went vroom vroom. Now I have a boring Toyota.

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  11. Anyone with a vanity plate is a tool; it (I don't mean "penis" there) doesn't have to be a blowjob reference on a Hummer.

    An AU professor you like has one. Let's just say that vanity plates are a choice.

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  12. you dont update often enough while im at school. i need something to adequately distract me.

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  13. AnonymousMay 06, 2006

    You do realize that you can buy more than one type of "hummer", right?

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  14. Um, that was interesting. I wonder why this blog attracts all the racists. I feel like the racism detracts from the hard core D.C. hating.

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  15. AnonymousMay 08, 2006

    Hummer drivers are less concerned about their MPG, and more inerested in how many Viagra pills can fit in the back seat.

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  16. AnonymousMay 08, 2006

    alright, Rusty, it's time to post again. Get off your lazy ass and get to postin'! Don't hate DC enough? Try to renew your license, buy groceries, or find parking. I don't care how you do it, but get to hating!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ugh, I know. The ol writer's block. Also, I'm really busy at work right now.

    Sorry. I'll have something tonite.

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousMay 08, 2006

    This blog keeps getting dumber and dumber. Tres unsophisticated.

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousMay 09, 2006

    Hey, anonymous. HUMONIT.

    PS Quit using my name.

    ReplyDelete
  20. My favorite VA plate...MLFHNTR, on an SUV driven by a cute blonde chick. Guess the DMV folks didn't know what a MILF was eh?

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousJune 07, 2006

    I once saw a car parked on my street with the vanity plate:

    CNTLKR

    Sadly, that was before I had a digital camera. Someone once explained to me how that could mean something besides cunt licker, but I really can't see how.

    ReplyDelete