I was running late for my scheduled visit to Toby* and Agatha's apartment for a few drinks and some serious Boy Meets World viewing (thank God for Tivo). I am waiting patiently in line at Rodman*s behind a woman with a sack of potatoes and 4 lemons. She'll be in and out.
Oh no she won't.
She was one of those people who had to pay for each item separately. First the lemons, then the potatoes. She paid for the latter with the change from the former so it isn't like she could use the excuse that her friend wanted potatoes and gave her a twenty dollar bill.
I was a cashier for three years. I know that these are the worst kind of customers. It took all of my self-restraint to prevent myself from rolling my eyes and sighing really loudly. After all, those people are the second worst kind of customers. (For the record, next on the line of asshole customers are the people who use a credit card to pay for an order that costs less than a dollar.)
I apologize for this not having any real connection to Washington's suckiness. And, in the big picture, I only lost a minute of my life. But, consider this post a public service announcement. If you're one of those people who insists on paying for each item separately, cut it out. You are annoying your fellow customers and the cashier. No one appreciates it.
*OK. The real reason I'm posting right now is to refute the story on Toby's blog. I do not in any way support how Topanga tricked Corey into marrying her. It was sexual blackmail and it's a horrible reason to get married.
How awesome is it when Topanga and Corey are having their first fight as a married couple and Corey screams "YOU BROKE MY SPIRIT"? It's THIS aswesome. I can not wait to use that on my future spouse.
At some point, I am going to write 4,000+ words on Boy Meets World. That will give the haters something to complain about.
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Oh, you don't need to try and make the haters hate on ya! It comes in natural response- no additives necessary.
ReplyDeleteaNonYmous
And what of the people who must order lunch for the whole goddamned office while I wait in line behind them? Hello! If I walked in to see you and your whole department of braindead data-entry retards standing in line, I would have turned around and walked the fuck out. But no, you stood there casually until it was time to put in your order. Then, out came the little sheet of yellow paper with eighteen different sandwiches, each with their own special set of condiments.
ReplyDeleteRoast in hell, motherfucker. I hope you're paralyzed by a drunken bus driver and spend the rest of your days as a burden to friends and loved ones.
When that happens to me at Chipotle, I flip out.
ReplyDeleteThat should never happen in Chipotle. Those people should call their order in. The rule of getting food for the office is you have to have the order sheet out so everyone knows what you are doing. Typical DC pretentious assholes trying to look cool in line...
ReplyDeleteAnyone who gets in the way of me and my Chipotle burrito is DEAD. I'll take on that fucktard and his whole office if it comes down to it.
ReplyDeleteWhat I miss about James F.
ReplyDelete• The long-running and never-ending war with Jen Waters
• Virginia Personalized License Plates (or what makes a douchebag a douchebag)
• D.C. Murder Tracker
• Fighting the Moonies and the Washington Times
Oh, the memories….
Some classics…
(http://whyihatedc.blogspot.com/2005/03/why-do-you-hate-freedom-and-mercury.html)
(http://whyihatedc.blogspot.com/2005/03/why-do-you-hate-freedom-and-mercury.html)
aNonYmous
James let the Jen Waters thing go a while ago. He took the murder tracker down before I even started reading this blog (early 2005).
ReplyDeleteIt's cool if you don't like me. I really don't mind. If I was really that terrible though, you would stop reading.
Don't overreact rusto. I never said I don't like you. I was musing on the things that had originally drawn me to the blog- the funny trends James had throughout his posts, the off-beat intellectualism of some of his posts, etc. And while he may not have kept those things throughout the entirety of his writing, they were the basis for my enjoyment of the blog.
ReplyDeleteYou haven't been blogging on this blog long enough to establish the same identity- that's why I keep checking back and reading. I'm waiting for you to get into your own rhythm. Remember- just as many people hated on him as on you. And while anything on say is just fun critique (b/c honestly this isn't important enough to my life), take it in stride. It is, after all is said and done, simply a blog. Something to check at work when people need a break. So relax. Post what you want. But don't use the "you keep reading" line- it's sooooooo 2005.
aNonYmous
I am upset at myself for agreeing with you...
ReplyDeleteI should have invented Chipotle.
ReplyDeleteAt time I think Baja Dump is better, but then I think not. Tried the new "Z" pizza? From California, enough said.
krystal,
ReplyDeleteyou like burritos?
I like to ride my bike because it's fun. Thanks for sharing.
You and Toby are why I love D.C.!
ReplyDelete"Boy Meets World?" and i thought your taste in summer concerts was bad
ReplyDeleteFirst you admit to wearing sweater vests. Now you admit to watching Boy Meets World. In the words of Snagglepuss, "Heavens to mergatroid!"
ReplyDeleteGreat show. But Topanga is fugly. Why was Corey always sweating her hippie ass?
ReplyDeleteSo true... Cory was way more attractive than Topanga.
ReplyDeleteI think I have a crush on you, Rusty.
ReplyDelete