That's right, I am enjoying a well deserved day off. A four day weekend! Later today I will be on a bus to New York City (or as Spencer of Goldenfiddle once called it, The City That Looks So Much Like a Flaccid Penis They Named it Twice). Three days and three nights of cleansing myself from Washington. There can't be a more appropriate way to celebrate Memorial Day than to walk over to the ruins of the Twin Towers and gawk at all of the fat, Midwestern atrocity tourists.
(My favorite Ground Zero moment was when this (fat, Midwestern) mother was screaming at her four year old kid. "Nothing is ever good enough for you, you spoiled brat!" Lady, give him a break. You took a toddler to a hole in the ground. He has no context of why there is a hole in the ground. How can you expect him to not be bored?)
Well, since I am not at work, I had a bit of a celebration last night. The Bud Ice was flowing freely. So, yeah, I was a little drunk. Walking home at 2am, I passed the worst thing you can look at when you're drunk...
Steak and Egg.
Oh, Steak and Egg. So cheap, so greasy. One meal sets your bowel movements back a week. What a horrible, horrible place. Yet, so tempting.
Well, and I am ashamed to admit this, I gave in. I ordered my Tennessee Scrambler and got a seat. I was awarded the opportunity to watch the order cooks in action. It was eye-opening to say the least.
Not one person there uses gloves. Not one. It's not like they avoid handling the food either. Cooks were picking up eggs with their bare hands and tossing them onto plates. It was a horror show. The coup de grace was when a cook, without gloves, picked up a pancake, dropped it onto some boxes, brushed it off, and threw the flapjack onto a plate. Within five minutes, it was hastily devoured by a customer.
I tell you this, when they started making my food, I was watching them like a hawk. I am proud to say that they did not touch my food. I ate about half of my eggs and left. I had lost my appetite.
How gross is that place? I know it's a diner and diners aren't highly regarded for being the most sterile environments, but what the Hell? No gloves? Dropped food? This can't be legal.
I am going to take this a step further than usual. Instead of acting like a whiny pussy and bitching and moaning about how I was wronged, I'm going to call the DC Department of Health and whine straight to them. Truth to power, man. That place needs to be shut down so that I'm never tempted to stumble in there again.
Incidentally, the DC Department of Health website isn't helping me out very much. Does anyone have any clue what number I call to complain about this? If someone is bored at work (ha, ha) and wants to take the time to find the number, that would be awesome.