Anytime I get a referral I'm not familiar with, I usually take the time to check it out. That's how I came across Irina is Always Right, which is now a daily read. Over the last few days I've been getting quite a few hits from something called DC Late Night Shots. So, I click.
I am taken to a website that says the following:
LateNightShots is a closed social network which allows you to explore Washington DC's social landscape and bar scene.
Membership is open through invitation only.
Invitation only? EFF THAT.
Since I have yet to be invited to this august organization, I have no way of seeing what was written about me. My very fragile ego can't handle that suspense. I am just going to assume disrespect.
Anyways, the welcome page is filled with some hilarious pictures. You can find them yourself if you click on that link and press the refresh button. Now, let's have some fun at other people's expense!
So far, so good. I mean, what young District gentlemen doesn't like spending time with his favorite drink and his four favorite girls? Hmm, maybe this group isn't as bad as I assumed.
Again, not bad. I love cheap champagne. Love it. The sweet delicious sugary drunk and the woeful sugary hangover the next morning. What's not to love about champagne? And, thank the Lord, no popped collars. And is that a celebrity? I think that's Fred Munster on the way left. Any group that allows Munsters (I'm looking at you, Lily) is fine by me!
I have no idea why that guy on the right has such a shit-eating grin. Maybe he's really happy he got into the DC Late Night Shots Club? It appears he is the only one in the picture not touching a girl, so why the 90-watt smile?
Uh-oh. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the ladies. I mean they rev my engines. But this...this looks like trouble. I can't figure out if this is really "DC Late Night Shots" or if I just stumbled upon the annual meeting of the DC Chapter of the Sex and the City Fan Club. And those seven ladies are all smiling, but there's no way you can tell me that the majority of them aren't dead on the inside.
I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT!! You can not have a social organization in this city without "those guys" showing up. You just can't. Ugh. THIS PICTURE HAS FOUR WINGMEN!
That Potomac jersey is also the lamest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Die in a fire, Mr. Potomac.
Although, I must admit, I am really intrigued by that lady. She has the Avril smile. I love the Avril smile! She's in quite a few of these pictures, so she might have a leadership position in this
circle-jerk club. If she is "leadership," she probably wants me dead. If she doesn't want me dead, contact me, cute girl! I swear, I am sort of attractive!
Wow. This is some club. To their credit, it's kind of honorable that they take time out of their social calendars to party with people with Down's Syndrome. That dude flashing the devil horns has the Down's, right?
This is the best picture in the history of life. First, a quick shout-out to the cute girl:
Anyways, greatest picture ever. It certainly says quite a bit about the herd mentality that's so prevalent in DC. Three of those guys are wearing the exact same thing! Granted, there's probably a reason for this. A reason is not the same as an excuse.
I can't get enough of their drinks of choice. That's five, count 'em five, bottles of Miller Lite all in a pretty little row. That, my friends, is herd mentality.
Well, that's it. Judging by the pictures, it looks like the DC Late Night Shots Club might have something to do with Georgetown. If so, they're probably smarter than me and I should lay off. But I can't allow such ridiculousness to go unpunished. I just can't. Especially when they're potentially complimenting me behind my back. Unacceptable!
I demand to know what was said behind the iron curtain of DC Late Night Shots membership! Please! My sanity depends on it!
And if it turns out to have been a compliment, I owe you guys (and cute girl) a HUGE apology.