6.01.2006

This is Mean for the Sake of Meanness

I, like many other bloggers, have this addicting little habit where I check out how people are getting on to my site. You know, "referrals." Lately a lot have been coming from Wonkette and DCist. Thanks for stopping by!

Anytime I get a referral I'm not familiar with, I usually take the time to check it out. That's how I came across Irina is Always Right, which is now a daily read. Over the last few days I've been getting quite a few hits from something called DC Late Night Shots. So, I click.

I am taken to a website that says the following:

LateNightShots is a closed social network which allows you to explore Washington DC's social landscape and bar scene.

Membership is open through invitation only.

Invitation only? EFF THAT.

Since I have yet to be invited to this august organization, I have no way of seeing what was written about me. My very fragile ego can't handle that suspense. I am just going to assume disrespect.

Anyways, the welcome page is filled with some hilarious pictures. You can find them yourself if you click on that link and press the refresh button. Now, let's have some fun at other people's expense!

So far, so good. I mean, what young District gentlemen doesn't like spending time with his favorite drink and his four favorite girls? Hmm, maybe this group isn't as bad as I assumed.

Again, not bad. I love cheap champagne. Love it. The sweet delicious sugary drunk and the woeful sugary hangover the next morning. What's not to love about champagne? And, thank the Lord, no popped collars. And is that a celebrity? I think that's Fred Munster on the way left. Any group that allows Munsters (I'm looking at you, Lily) is fine by me!

I have no idea why that guy on the right has such a shit-eating grin. Maybe he's really happy he got into the DC Late Night Shots Club? It appears he is the only one in the picture not touching a girl, so why the 90-watt smile?

Uh-oh. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the ladies. I mean they rev my engines. But this...this looks like trouble. I can't figure out if this is really "DC Late Night Shots" or if I just stumbled upon the annual meeting of the DC Chapter of the Sex and the City Fan Club. And those seven ladies are all smiling, but there's no way you can tell me that the majority of them aren't dead on the inside.

I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT!! You can not have a social organization in this city without "those guys" showing up. You just can't. Ugh. THIS PICTURE HAS FOUR WINGMEN!

That Potomac jersey is also the lamest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Die in a fire, Mr. Potomac.

Although, I must admit, I am really intrigued by that lady. She has the Avril smile. I love the Avril smile! She's in quite a few of these pictures, so she might have a leadership position in this circle-jerk club. If she is "leadership," she probably wants me dead. If she doesn't want me dead, contact me, cute girl! I swear, I am sort of attractive!

Wow. This is some club. To their credit, it's kind of honorable that they take time out of their social calendars to party with people with Down's Syndrome. That dude flashing the devil horns has the Down's, right?


This is the best picture in the history of life. First, a quick shout-out to the cute girl:

1-4-3!

Ahem.

Anyways, greatest picture ever. It certainly says quite a bit about the herd mentality that's so prevalent in DC. Three of those guys are wearing the exact same thing! Granted, there's probably a reason for this. A reason is not the same as an excuse.

I can't get enough of their drinks of choice. That's five, count 'em five, bottles of Miller Lite all in a pretty little row. That, my friends, is herd mentality.

Well, that's it. Judging by the pictures, it looks like the DC Late Night Shots Club might have something to do with Georgetown. If so, they're probably smarter than me and I should lay off. But I can't allow such ridiculousness to go unpunished. I just can't. Especially when they're potentially complimenting me behind my back. Unacceptable!

I demand to know what was said behind the iron curtain of DC Late Night Shots membership! Please! My sanity depends on it!

And if it turns out to have been a compliment, I owe you guys (and cute girl) a HUGE apology.

55 comments:

  1. redraiderdcJune 02, 2006

    LOL! I just joined this "club" yesterday because someone from work invited me! It's just someone's lame version of drinking-centric Friendster. Yes, I did join, but only to look and laugh at the pictures. This is no social club.

    THIS http://www.capital-club.com/index.html is a REAL social club - DC-style, Mother F'er. You want a good laugh - check out the Photo Gallery. I spent hours on there at work yesterday.

    Our boys in Irag must be so proud of what they are fighting for over there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Krystal Koons (AKA THE PIMP DADDY)June 02, 2006

    Fargin hilarious post. What a bunch of toolboxes.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJune 02, 2006

    This is the best thing you've ever done, Randy. Even Krystal Kunt would agree w/ that.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousJune 02, 2006

    Not to fall victim to herd mentality in congratulating you, but an honestly hilarious post. That's two in a row!!

    What vitamins are you taking?

    Nicely done.

    aNonYmous

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  5. best post ever. thanks for the shoutout too.

    you know what i love about dc? how everyone looks so different, everyone has a unique style and personality. no one in dc is friends with people just for the connections. no, this is a nice, friendly town full of down to earth, progressively-minded people.

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  6. formerly anonmyousJune 02, 2006

    Damn it, rusty. Damn you to hell for making me do this.

    Great post.

    Now eat shit and die.

    ReplyDelete
  7. LLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL

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  8. AnonymousJune 02, 2006

    Redraiderdc, you are the perfect spy. Tell us what's making those kids jump on over here.

    Rusty, I'm right there on the "Great Post" bandwagon.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Quick update: I've only received one referral from DC Late Night Shots since I posted this. That was at 4:34pm. I am disappointed to say the least.

    Also, good catch Anonymous. Red Raider! Either invite me or copy and paste whatever thet put up to lead their members to my site. I am counting on you!

    ReplyDelete
  10. NWashingtonianJune 02, 2006

    Rusty, you got a shout out on www.readexpress.com. See below:

    » MEMBERS ONLY: Why.I.Hate.DC discovers through his site meter that people from within the invitation-only D.C. Late Night Shots network have been looking at his blog. Rusty, Why.I.Hate.DC's cantankerous editor, then proceeds to critique their exclusive party shots ... with some mild profanity. (If you go to the D.C. Late Night Shots Web site, you too can see their late night photos, just press refresh.) Something tells us these folks don't hang out at the Tune Inn. [Why.I.Hate.DC; D.C. Late Night Shots]

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  11. AnonymousJune 02, 2006

    most of these guys are uva southern fratty guys. The entire school was like that*

    *gross generalizations are the best.

    ReplyDelete
  12. calvinnmeJune 02, 2006

    Have you gotten your cease and desist order yet? From the hopeless self-involvement eminating from "DC Late Night Shots" that you hilariously showcased so well, something tell me that this club consists of a large number of attorneys. Don't be surprised if they retaliate! Remember the one thing lawyers hate more than losing money is to lose face, and oh how they hate to lose money!

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  13. AnonymousJune 02, 2006

    I will be visiting your blog more often now, continue on making fun of people, I luv it!

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousJune 03, 2006

    This is journalism at its finest! Well done! Those people are the kids in highschool you hope you NEVER SEE AGAIN. Friggin 90210. And eff anything that's "invitaion only," except for Gmail - b/c Google rocks.

    I started reading this blog early last year and then recently started back up. I can always count on a good laugh. Your humor is right up my alley! What happened to that murder ticker thing? That was disturbingly funny.

    I never liked Georgetown anyways.

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  15. Anyone else notice that the pic on the LNS website is also on the Capital Club photo album?

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  16. I know the guy with the Shit Eating Grin. Happy to provide info and a laugh. Solid post.

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  17. 90 watt smileJune 05, 2006

    stern, sweet comment. hope you get hit by a car in london. when you do, i'll be sporting my 90 watts.

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  18. It's good to know you can use the internet to keep all those middle school Queen Bee games going. What else is technology for?

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  19. AnonymousJune 05, 2006

    All you goofy white people need to start wearing nametags. I can't tell any of you apart.

    Love the token black guy, too...even if it is Clinton Portis.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Found you from Cafe 227. This is really funny. I'm scared to think something like this exists...and lurks among us, in the shadows of D.C.

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  21. AnonymousJune 06, 2006

    You know these peolle are going to be 40 and still acting like overprivledged frat boys. Invitation only? HA!

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  22. AnonymousJune 06, 2006

    THANK YOU, SIR. MAY I HAVE ANOTHER!!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. There is a subspecies of this type of douchebag which resides at Top of the Hill (otherwise known as the second floor of PourHouse).

    A douchiest of bags suggested to me that admittance was only allowed to a select few, but that I would likely be allowed if entering with his girlfriend as companion (doorman would recognize her, and thereby grant access for me).

    People, you just walk up the stairs. There is no doorman. Like I said, same type of douchebag: aging frat boys and the women who love them.

    Thanks for the post, Rusty!

    ReplyDelete
  24. AnonymousJune 06, 2006

    I miss hating on D.C. I wish I still lived there. Hating on NYC seems so impersonal.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I walk in that place and pimp their girls
    they don't know no good!

    tight post!

    ReplyDelete
  26. AnonymousJune 06, 2006

    Those photos look like the scene every single day in the Longworth Cafeteria. Just think, in 2 years most of those tools will have burned out writing letters to whiny constituents and will be off to some Midwestern law school, never to bother us again!

    I love the picture from the capital-club of a guy at the Gold Cup races with a suit on and a "beer tent" wristband...guess what pal, you can wear a suit and your gal pal can wear a giant hat, but if you need a wristband to drink, it aint a classy event.

    I would love to see some of these guys try and pull this crap at Pimlico, Rosecroft, or Charles Town!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Trojan LadyJune 07, 2006

    I hate people like this. In fact, one of those goofy looking guys (he appears in at least two of those pictures) went to high school with me. He was rich dickwad then and he probably still is.

    Keep up the good work!

    ReplyDelete
  28. The post from Irina sums up my feeling about the "DC Scene" best.

    I would rather get shit-faced in a real dive bar with normal people than those self-serving, empty morons.

    I stay far away from the swanky clubs and any Capitol Hill joint.

    ReplyDelete
  29. AnonymousJune 08, 2006

    trojan lady - why don't you a) post some of your own pictures and b) not leave it such a mystery for us!! who is this goofy looking kid you are talking about and where did y'all go to high school? please provide info and a laugh. thx.

    ReplyDelete
  30. AnonymousJune 11, 2006

    are you sort of atttractive? b/c i think you're hilarious (but i'm not the avril in the picture)

    ReplyDelete
  31. AnonymousJune 20, 2006

    This is why I HATE DC!

    http://www.hillnews.com/living/072104_madison.aspx

    It must be the same folks.

    ReplyDelete
  32. AnonymousJune 23, 2006

    This club was founded by people who attend all the Capital Club parties, but won't ever be allowed to join the Capital Club. Trust me ...

    ReplyDelete
  33. AnonymousJuly 15, 2006

    i cant believe that im actually responding to this but you guys are such tools that i cant help myself. 1) you all hate on a bunch of people in a club who you have never met. i bet if they invited you in, you would stop hating and actually like hanging out with hot chicks and having a good time. oh and this late night shots thing isn't a real club. its like myspace, just private and for DC. 2) i hate to say it, but these people will probably continue to own you the rest of your life. yes they probablly pop their collar and have rich parents, but they are also likely very smart, well-mannered, well educated and likely to be very succesfull, happy people with big houses, nice boats, hot wives and powerful friends. they will probably also use lots of their wealth to make the world a better place through charity or whatever (or maybe thier wives will since they won't need to work). anyways, i just think its really lame that you all would hate on people that you have never met, just because you were never cool in high school or were never accepted into the group that you wanted to be in. you have no idea that these people are "self serving, empty morons" just from looking at their picture.

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  34. AnonymousJuly 15, 2006

    Couldn't agree more with the previous post. In this world there is a pretty standard equation to do what everyone wants in life: A)Get a hot loving wife B)Make a ton of money C)Have fun. Somewhere along the line, your bitterness in accepting that you could never get all three caused you to hate the people that do. Getting all of those things in Washington requires a tight dress & social code that some people can't or won't follow. Let it be known though that non of these people care about your smug close-minded opinion of them. They are too busy drinking the best liquor, laying the best girls, and succeding to really care.

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  35. In this world there is a pretty standard equation to do what everyone wants in life: A)Get a hot loving wife B)Make a ton of money C)Have fun. Somewhere along the line, your bitterness in accepting that you could never get all three caused you to hate the people that do. Getting all of those things in Washington requires a tight dress & social code that some people can't or won't follow. Let it be known though that non of these people care about your smug close-minded opinion of them. They are too busy drinking the best liquor, laying the best girls, and succeding to really care.

    And then they all die, maybe never knowing that their lives were total meaningless shells of existence.

    Let's get one thing straight here- us normal folks? ARE SO HAPPY TO HAVE PEOPLE LIKE DC SHOT CLUB OR FUCKING WHATEVER AROUND. We are ECSTATIC. Because then we have someone to sit around and make fun of, knowing full well that we are better people than you could ever dream of being. Pure entertainment. So good ahead, toolbags! Have fun with your little club, which - by -the way - I had a version of in 4th grade. I think it was called "the Non-Cootie Club" and you had to wear Izod to join.

    As a DC native, I'd usually also request that you KINDLY FUCK OFF from my city, because most of you who act like this aren't really from here. However, if you honestly think life revolves around A) what you wear and B) what kind of vapid sluts you bang, then you and I don't run with the same crowd anyways. Sowhat do I care?



    (PS, all those hot girls have the most by age 25? Have the most insane crows feet from overtanning that you will ever see. It's gonna be exhausting to trade in for a younger model every few years as they drain you bank account, Mr. Successful. Good luck with all that.)

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  36. Oh My God that may be the funniest thing I have ever read!!

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  37. Um. Why are people calling these tools "hot"? Are we seriously looking at the same pictures here?

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  38. someone send me (xjohnthomasx@gmail.com) an invite to latenightshots.com. i have evil plans. thanks. - x

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  39. This is the shit about DC that made me vomit and finally leave. And I'm a DC area native.

    I think that site must be aware of your post. Cliking the link will no longer give you pictures of vapid people doing their best to feel important by drinking in uniform.

    Halarious. And somehow sad.

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  40. Late Night Shots looks like a Ku Klux Klan hangout. Where are the minorities?

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  41. Most of these people will have way too much money from Daddy, they will marry the hot wife, who will cheat on them, then take half of daddy's money and leave the poor drunk wasp dumbshit to go out and troll for another dumb 23 year old who is so drunk on power and roofies that she can look past the Chris Farley build and the 3 inch penis.

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  42. someone send me (jimwitty@gmail.com) an invite to latenightshots.com. i have evil plans. thanks. - x

    ReplyDelete
  43. wow such really WHITE TEETH for a bunch of selfish,self-centered ego-maniacs who couldn't spell CLASS even if you spotted them the letter C and the letter L.
    These young jerks are the same people i remember from my college days over 30 years ago and are the very reason i quit college so i wouldn't end up just like them.
    These people of class and education are an embarASSment to society and one day WILL be humbled by a power much greater than them or one that mommy or daddy can buy them.
    These narcissistic assholes are the VERY reason the rest of the world HATES americans.
    Go ahead and threaten to sue me because i have NOTHING you can sue me for.........
    But what i do have is a great disdain for a world full of selfish druken assholes of privlage that THINK the rest of the world is only jealous of them and thats why all these horrible things are being written about them.
    PARIS HILTON loves you I'm sure!!!!
    GOD help you MORONS.

    ReplyDelete
  44. wow such really WHITE TEETH for a bunch of selfish,self-centered ego-maniacs who couldn't spell CLASS even if you spotted them the letter C and the letter L.
    These young jerks are the same people i remember from my college days over 30 years ago and are the very reason i quit college so i wouldn't end up just like them.
    These people of class and education are an embarASSment to society and one day WILL be humbled by a power much greater than them or one that mommy or daddy can buy them.
    These narcissistic assholes are the VERY reason the rest of the world HATES americans.
    Go ahead and threaten to sue me because i have NOTHING you can sue me for.........
    But what i do have is a great disdain for a world full of selfish druken assholes of privlage that THINK the rest of the world is only jealous of them and thats why all these horrible things are being written about them.
    PARIS HILTON loves you I'm sure!!!!
    GOD help you MORONS.

    ReplyDelete
  45. AnonymousJuly 14, 2007

    wow such really WHITE TEETH for a bunch of selfish,self-centered ego-maniacs who couldn't spell CLASS even if you spotted them the letter C and the letter L.
    These young jerks are the same people i remember from my college days over 30 years ago and are the very reason i quit college so i wouldn't end up just like them.
    These people of class and education are an embarASSment to society and one day WILL be humbled by a power much greater than them or one that mommy or daddy can buy them.
    These narcissistic assholes are the VERY reason the rest of the world HATES americans.
    Go ahead and threaten to sue me because i have NOTHING you can sue me for.........
    But what i do have is a great disdain for a world full of selfish druken assholes of privlage that THINK the rest of the world is only jealous of them and thats why all these horrible things are being written about them.
    PARIS HILTON loves you I'm sure!!!!
    GOD help you MORONS.

    ReplyDelete
  46. AnonymousJuly 15, 2007

    I'm not going to put LOL or tell you how much I want to blow you for calling these shit-bags out, because this shit isn't funny to me. I just read the piece in the city paper yesterday and I wasn't laughing, I was straight disgusted. I actually walked from my house in Shaw toward the great white west (west of 16th street) in search of these types and I walked up to most anyone wearing a polo and khaki shorts to ask if they're some sort of "fucking urban duck hunting club" and bowing up a little bit like North Carolinians do.. (those who didn't rush frats and pop their baby blue polos at Carolina) and as you'd prob. know - they buckled got nervous and retreated into their protective pack of assholes. Alll you motherfuckers sucking whyihatedc off for his "awesome post" can kiss my pucker. Fuck DC, it's a shame too b/c I actually like American but our capital is a tragedy.

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  47. AnonymousJuly 17, 2007

    That's why you quit college? Scooter, there are plenty of other ways to not turn out like them. dont ruin your own life.

    ReplyDelete
  48. AnonymousJuly 17, 2007

    You know whats sad about all this... These women are not that hot and I'm guessing since their lame limp dick husbands can't get it up without Viagra anyway thats when they bang "the help" AKA(the gardener, pool boy). So then the lame husband gets a young girl. He files for divorce and loses half. The young girl who he cheated with will also cheat on him because she just loves him for his money. The lame rich boy now an old man has nothing to show for himself but several divorces. Kids that probably don't like him and are most likely shooting up heroin at there prep schools. The wife now drinks all the time (oh wait she was already drank all the time because she has no job and sits at home all day banging the 23 year old pool boy.) is now an alcoholic who wasted her life away. WOW sounds like fun! You people sure know how to make me feel better about myself. You don't need money, social clubs, an entourage of fake friends (who also bang your wife as well)to be happy in life . but if it makes you feel better to say to someone like me that i won't become anything. (as an earlier post states) You don't know me. just like I don't know you. But there is a difference I don't try to make people feel lesser then me. If I was invited into this social network. I would accept the invitation and hung out where you did just to piss you off . I would then invite everybody I knew to join because let's face it . how fun can a party be if everybody looks and acts the same. verity is the spice of life people.

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  49. your commentary is spot on. i'll have to explore the site more and see if you're cute. we should go out. your commentary and my constant state of bitterness, we'd be a perfect match.

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  50. someone please send an invite to Late Night Shots to me
    lv2bits@aol.com

    I have some great photos from Friday night that i want to upload, but dont have access yet

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  51. I'm exposed to the highest concentrations of LNS douchebaggery on a daily basis at my workplace in Georgetown. Every morning the former sorority girls here are browsing the site together and chatting about what bar or club they got drunk at the previous night, then its off to shop for shoes online. Believe me, this post was right on in naming the specific DC breed of vapid airheads full of unwarranted self-importance that infest the city. I know how much they make yet they live in luxurious condos far beyond the means of our paychecks - living on daddy's dime on past college and well into their 20's these worthless socialites exist only to buy shoes, drink shots, and climb some kind of social ladder that I'll never, ever, perceive.

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  52. Finally .... post who change my day :)

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  53. Really a nice great post

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    ReplyDelete