1.02.2007

BREAKING STORY!!!!

The Washington Post has blown the lid off what will surely be the story of 2007. I know it's early, but I feel pretty confident that the journalistic excellence of Tara Bahrampour will be unmatched over the next 364 days.

Ms. Bahrampour has made the startling discovery that teenagers often keep online journals. These "Internet diaries," sometimes referred to as "blogs," are all over the Internet. There are even websites like LiveJournal, Xanga, and MySpace that are dedicated to hosting these "blogs." I don't know how the Earth continues to rotate on its axis after this seismic article was written. Surely Ms. Bahrampour will go down in history as a contemporary Marie Curie for the impact of her discoveries.

Bahrampour's investigative work even uncovered some excerpts of what some local teenagers are writing:

"Unfortunately I feel very distant from everyone. . . . Maybe it's just how I function. I think its probably my worst flaw."

"i feel she could be the one i know it is crazy because well i am 18 and all that but i really do i am just scared i have never let someone get as close to me as i have let her."

"i feel . . . invisible."

Disaffected youth? In Northern Virginia? Who would have thought that teenage melancholy could hit us so close to home? This melancholy has infected our computers and interwebs like a virus. Truly a sad day for the future.

Thank you again, Tara Bahrampour. Your work, surely the first article ever in the history of mankind to discuss the pros and cons of MySpace, should win you the Pulitzer. Of course, credit goes to The Washington Post for having the courage to use valuable copy space to expose this problem. Honestly, this piece absolutely blows away The New York Times investigative work on warrantless wiretapping. The Post knows a real story when it sees it.

13 comments:

  1. It's about as shocking as the story on the Today show last week that people are having pre-marital sex.

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  2. Hahah that was perhaps the best thing I've read in a long time. Even more wonderful is the fact that on the same day this story comes out.

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  3. Laura Sessions SteppJanuary 02, 2007

    Tara Bahrampour is a hack!

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  4. Try reading Page 1 of the Washington Post Style section. You will see the most useless creations of so-called journalism.

    Only the WaPost Style reporters can reduce honorable public figures to unflattering portraits based on fashion or lifestyle choices.

    The yuppie, shallow, gossip-sponges at the WaPost Style editors desk deserve plenty of criticism.

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  5. It's like they have an editor from a high school newspaper on staff.

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  6. Calm down everybody. I am sure there are plenty of things going on within the internet that are quite popular in some circles that most of you have absolutely no clue about.

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  7. The Post is on a roll. They ran, at least on their web site, this gem today:

    Spears Falls Asleep in Vegas Nightclub
    The Associated Press
    Monday, January 1, 2007; 11:10 PM


    LAS VEGAS -- Britney Spears finally appears to be acting like a new mom. The pop princess, who recently made headlines for a rash of less-than-motherly hard partying, fell asleep in a Las Vegas nightclub early Monday shortly after leading the New Year's Eve countdown, her manager said.

    "By about one o'clock, she was just done, so we took her out," Spears' manager, Larry Rudolph, told The Associated Press Monday. "She was not drunk. She was just tired and falling asleep."

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/01/01/AR2007010100505.html?nav=rss_artsandliving/entertainmentnews

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  8. Todays music on the billboard charts would make me want to fall asleep in a club too.

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  9. Are you being sarcastic or sardonic?

    Oh-oh. My useful vocabulary is being expanded by "Monk" marathons on New Year's Day.

    You were probably wasting your day on bowl games!

    III

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  10. people are having pre-marital sex!!?

    THAT IS UNFATHOMABLE!

    nobody has pre-marital sex.
    i think i had to sign a contract at my job that said that i wouldnt have pre-marital sex, or something along the lines of upholding the moral values of the church.

    oh the catholics.

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  11. Okay, so, like... a blog is the same as a Web Log?

    Isn't this a fact from early 2003?

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  12. it takes adults 6 months to three years to figure out what's going on with young people. then they write books and articles about it.

    guess what- teenagers keep online journals and give bjs

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    ReplyDelete