Check out what was on Page C1 of the Post.
It's so cold that:
· Metro's escalators are frozen in place . . . oh, wait. That's not the cold.
· Britney Spears put on underwear.
· Gilbert Arenas changed his jersey number to Below 0.
· David Lee Roth said he'd tour with Van Halen again
I like the last one, because the joke implies that DC is actually Hell. It's still not funny, but I'm sympathetic with the sentiment.
And Britney Spears underwear jokes! Those are contemporary and topical! Hilarious!