UMD and I Have Something in Common!

My hatred for the University of Maryland still runs strong. However, we both hate Duke University. So, congratulations to the Maryland basketball team for defeating Duke yesterday. Further congratulations to the student body for not rioting after beating a team that's now below .500 in conference play. The discretion was unexpected and appreciated.

To all my readers who don't really "get" sports, rooting for the Duke Blue Devils is like rooting for the New York Yankees. They always have the best talent and the best coaching, but the douchebagginess of their players and student body is second to none. Popped collars everywhere. Of course we all know that Duke's lacrosse team has been all over the papers for a rape that didn't happen and some crazy racism that did. Skinning bitches and thanking one's grandfather for their cotton t-shirts is certainly not a way to get good press.

This Duke hatred would appear kind of random, wouldn't it. Well, no. Big Head Rob reports that Why I Hate DC mascot Laura Sessions Stepp did a good deal of research for her new book Unhooked at Duke University. Great.

Again, for those who haven't been paying attention, Duke is an outlier when it comes to sexual deviancy. If someone told me LSS would be doing sex research at a major university, I would think to myself, "Please God don't let it be Duke." There's no better school to support your pre-made conclusions that today's college students and young adults are total sluts.

Even more annoying, the story has been done. Janet Reitman of Rolling Stone did an absolute hit job on the hook-up culture of Duke. Reitman's report focused more on post-feminism than on "the kids aren't alright" angle that you just know LSS is going to work with. Reitman falls into the same trappings as any stupid LSS article, but Reitman at least has the decency to not be so alarmist and condescending. If LSS talks to the same people as Reitman though...oh fuck.

From Reitman's article:

Sex at Duke is a sport most students participate in, on some level or another. Boys report that it's still a little tough to get a girl to get freaky -- anal sex, for example, is still rare enough that ''any Duke guy could look at a lineup of girls and point out the one who likes it,'' notes one male student (''usually the girl who's drunk and coked out of her gourd at a party at 4 a.m.,'' he adds). But traditional intercourse is common, and oral sex nearly ubiquitous, regarded as sort of a form of elaborate kissing that doesn't really mean very much. ''Everybody gives blow jobs now,'' says Naomi. ''Before,'' she adds -- meaning a pre-Monica/pre-Britney ''before'' -- ''it used to be you'd have sex and then give one.'' But now, girls give them freely -- on their own initiative, she says. (They also tend to get as much as they give, at least according to Duke men.)

You can feel Laura Sessions Stepp's head about to explode. I can't imagine what she would do if I told her the anecdotal (and unconfirmable) story I heard about a Duke girl penetrating herself with a champagne bottle in a bar to impress some guys. I assume it was the thin end. I didn't ask follow-up questions.

So, Laura Sessions Stepp and her college-aged narc friend Alicia (read Big Head Rob's post for details on this traitor) have gone for the easy kill. The Duke hook-up culture has been well documented over the past year. We all know how bad it is. Using Duke to support conclusions regarding the behavior of my peers is grossly unfair.

I really hate Laura Sessions Stepp.


  1. Rusty's a virgin.

  2. The current student body over at College Park is not as wild as the student body from a few years ago. Yes well all know these things come in waves. Some years bring in more obnoxious students than others. The past few have not though. Perhaps in the near future another wild bunch will arrive. Time will tell.

  3. that's nice, rusty. hell, you should change the title of your blog to "why i hate washington post writers that no one else cares about as much as i do."

    how about that metro?

  4. You know that LSS, et. al., are glued to the TV every night watching MTV Real World episodes taking notes.

  5. Sometimes, like when Big Rusty is leafing through the newest J. Crew catalog, Li'l Rusty comes to attention. When this happens, Big Rusty pours a pan of ice-cold water down the front of his pants, like Robert DeNiro in "Raging Bull."

    For several days afterward, Rusty is bedridden with guilt.

  6. Impeach Rusty ... We all hate him. No one likes you, not even your own friends .... WE NEED A NEW WHY I HATE DC BLOGGER


  8. Rusty is a communist ... what a worthless blogger

  9. at least get some guest writers.

    how can you insult duke alums now? i'm 1/5 of the readers you have left.hvt

  10. RUSTY!

    I accept your declaration of WAR! Sessions Stepp and her 2Steppers will fight you at the Dupont Circle fountain at high noon today!

    (Event may be canceled due to Wintry Mix)

  11. Rusty,

    When did you receive your last blow job? Tell the truth.

  12. aw, Maryland students not living up to the stereotype is a disappointment. or maybe there's nothing left in College Park worth destroying after beating a Duke team that's in its rebuilding phase?

    as for Rusty needing a blow-job and being worthless... don't listen to them! this Duke fan is in your corner!

  13. I'm surprised she's yet to have a field day with the casual encounters section of Craig's List...

  14. Aw, c'mon, leave him alone. Remember James and Jen Waters? Ragging on crack reporters in DC is part of the essential DC-hating experience. Besides, I'm glad someone is giving LSS the crap she deserves for generalizing the dregs of "our generation" as indicative of the rest of us. One thing I like about NYC is that not all of the 20-somethings here think they're so damn important as the ones I've met in DC.

  15. Although it seems that most of the comments were made by the same one or two people, the original post really was lame. Who gets shrill and offended when an old person makes a negative generalization about "the kids"? Isn't that what old people do? And isn't she pretty much right?

    Your next post should be "I object; some white people CAN dance!"

  16. I personally like Rusty so my vote cancels out the one creepy guy who logs in over and over to leave mean comments about our beloved blogger.

    However, my only complaint with Rusty is that he doesnt update his blog enough.

    Rusty YOU might have a life, but I DON'T!

  17. On the subject of douchebaggy (former) Duke players, let us not forget Shavlik Randolph, who said this when asked how he'd react if he had an openly gay teammate:

    "As long as you don't bring your gayness on me, I'm fine."

    I rest Rusty's case.

  18. wow, yet another story about sex in college. who would've thunk it?

    note: i've spent several evenings over the past few years being the girl who's "coked out of her gourd" at 4 a.m., and nary a finger, much less a penis, has ever penetrated my rear-end.

    anyone who claims to be able to have sex while on coke is a liar.

  19. I dont follow Rusty's logic.
    He's a yuppie kid from Mass.
    He went to some douchebag private college in DC of all places.
    He now lives in lilly white NW DC.
    You spend all your time raging against people JUST LIKE YOU.
    Give it a rest.
    Get a life.
    Stop being soooooooo gay.

  20. down the street at my alma mater, wake, it was almost the exact same scene. this was the late 90s, too. either you were single and hooking up or practically married.

    this was of course before i pledged allegiance to the penis.