7.25.2007

The Environment is My Grandchildren's Problem

I assume my fellow downtown workers are sick and tired of Greenpeace solicitors getting all up in your piece asking for a donation or your e-mail address.

"Do you have a minute to talk about the environment?"

"No, bitch, I do not. I have a minute to shoot the shit with a homeless dude/dudette and donate my loose change to a worthy cause. You get nothing."


I've noticed an increase in the number of times I've been targeted by one of these assholes. Maybe it's because there's less pedestrian traffic due to summer vacations and I'm being targeted more frequently. Maybe I have a compassionate face. Who knows? I do know that I am sick of this.

From now on, anytime some useless waste of sidewalk space asks me for a minute of my time, I am going to litter right in front of them. I will dig through my man-purse and find a food wrapper or scrap paper and leave it at their feet. If you love the Earth so fucking much then leave me be.

I urge anyone else tired of these glorified panhandlers to follow my lead. Maybe they'll get the hint.

44 comments:

  1. i feel bad for those kids, standing outside in the heat, brimming with optimism and hope for the future.

    we should give 'em break, they are only trying to help.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJuly 25, 2007

    As Caesar Chavez of the United Farm Workers said, "First you speak to one person, then another, then another..."

    Your post is rather insulting and ignorant, especially when you call these hard-working canvassers "glorified panhandlers." These grassroots fundraisers are out there educating people about critical social issues and collecting individual donations, which are the lifeblood of truly citizen-based groups. They translate directly into political power and fund the research and advocacy that is needed to win campaigns in this town.

    And this is a BURDEN on YOU? Why, because you are in a hurry to get to happy hour or your anonymous desk job?

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJuly 25, 2007

    You should be the LNS director! So self-righteous and mean spirited!

    ReplyDelete
  4. They suckered into a really crappy summer job. I feel bad for them too. Doesn't mean I talk to them or even smile.

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  5. 12 Year OldJuly 25, 2007

    Anonymous #1:

    You evoke the spirit of grassroots organizing while talking about the 501c3 Non-Profit Industrial Complex? Now that is curious. Standing on the corner getting donations for a corporation IS NOT the same thing as building a grassroots movement. All it does is let those people on the way to the next ‘happy hour’ feel a little less guilty about themselves while NOT being engaged in a social/political movement or making any significant life changes. This couldn’t be further removed from true grassroots organizing!!

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  6. AnonymousJuly 25, 2007

    Washington non-profits take advantage of enthusiastic and idealistic, but stupid kids from the provinces. I get my door knocked on by Greenpeace, PIRG, and HRC all the time. Personally, I think door to door canvassing like that is a waste of time, and I feel like those orgs are exploiting (near) kids. They could use their resources more wisely. HRC especially. I used to be a member, but I've lately come to realize they're a total waste and just a money machine.

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  7. AnonymousJuly 25, 2007

    The PIRG is the worst. They sucker you in telling you you'll be "organizing" and "coordinating". Next thing you know, you're out on the street, clipboard in hand trying to meet a quota so you get paid. Not that I know from personal experience or anything. Suck it, Nader!

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  8. Why don't you just take a shit on the sidewalk right in front of them.

    They are TRYING TO SAVE THE WORLD!!

    haha

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousJuly 25, 2007

    I completely agree. I'm so tired of some organization or another attempting to stop me every time I leave my building. It is one thing to educate people, but another to demand credit card information for monthly donations on the spot. And do you need to stand in the same spot every day?

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousJuly 25, 2007

    Cesar, not Caesar, you dumbass hippie.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm with rusty.

    Now, if Greenpeace would hire those homeless dudes the unions have doing their picketing, I'd stop, have a smoke with them, and talk about what the deal is.

    But some pencil-necked do-gooder with a squeaky clean conscience isn't stopping me from getting my drink on after work...no way no how.

    And no, Caesar Romero, these kids aren't "educating" me or anyone else about shit.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I can assure you, you do not have a compassionate face.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Yeah what she said....

    ReplyDelete
  14. You know what I do when they approach me? I look at them sympathetically and tell them, "Your mother wants you to go to law school."

    Mostly I feel sorry for the fact that they got suckered into crappy jobs by a much of exploitative non-profits. Then I want to make them feel guilty for bringing shame on their family who wanted them to make more of themselves.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousJuly 26, 2007

    KILL EM' ALL

    LET GOD SORT EM' OUT

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousJuly 26, 2007

    Rusty --

    I have always thought that you were a disgrace to the legacy of this website. I thought that you were weak and pathetic. This post gives me hope. Instead of dropping trash in front of these losers, I would like to punch them in the face. I work right near Java Green, the vegan place, and pretty much without fail I have to walk by these morons on a daily basis. Luckily, I exude hostility, so they generally don't approach me.

    ReplyDelete
  17. The worst street-side bloodsuckers in DC?

    No, it's not the homeless.

    No, it's not Greenpeace or some other environmental outfit.

    No, it's not the crazy "Don't Bitch-Start a Revolution" cult people.

    It's the volunteers with the Democratic National Committee. Those spoiled-brat kids who are looking for future careers on K Street or Capitol Hill pan-handle for loose change for the DNC. These red-shirt, snot-nose 20-somethings are begging for money on street corners for a $75 million political party organization.

    The DNC kids stand outside of bookstores. They stand outside of Macy's and H&M. They stand near corner restaurants. They even had a volunteer posted next to the Camelot strip club on M Street...I shit you not. They are everywhere!

    Since a major election year is coming up soon...you will those kids out in full force with their fucking clipboards, red DNC-logo polo shirts and phony smiles.

    I am a left-wing, progressive guy and I vote mostly Democrat in some elections. But at least the fucking Republicans have the decency to stay off the straight corners begging for loose change.

    ReplyDelete
  18. satan himselfJuly 26, 2007

    The sad thing is, it is a revolving door. As soon as the current schmucks wise up and move on along comes another fresh faced, snot nosed, pimple faced, 21 year old bastard to take their place.

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousJuly 26, 2007

    Rusty is a douche.
    however, this is an excellent post.
    full of hate.
    i like it.

    ReplyDelete
  20. There are these annoying panhandlers from the Humane Society panhandling at the intersection of River Rd. and Little Falls Rd., getting in my grill when I'm stopped at the red light. Those tactics didn't work when I sold lemonade as a kid, and they won't work when these kids are looking for good-natured donations.

    With that said, someone offered me a free "Vegetarian Starter Kit" the other day. It was a bunch of flyers. I suggested to the girl that instead of handing out flyers, the free "vegetarian starter kit" should be a fresh apple or orange. That would be sweet, especially on a hot day..

    ReplyDelete
  21. Ms. AnthropeJuly 26, 2007

    As for the DNC: I love it when they say "do you want to help the democrats blah-dee-blah..." Well you know what, I have tried to help the democrats and those bastards let me down time and again. So you know what, Miss DNC panhandler, I think I will use my extra dollars to help out a better cause...MYSELF.

    ReplyDelete
  22. AnonymousJuly 26, 2007

    DONT GET MAD

    NUKE THE BASTARDS

    ReplyDelete
  23. SukaluskiJuly 26, 2007

    My favorate response to the DNC pukes is, "I'm a tax-and-bomb Republican." Of course I'm not, but the look on their little idealistic face is priceless...

    ReplyDelete
  24. Sometimes I wonder if there is some sort of loser training center hidden away in Dupont Circle, where kids with no ambition and connections are taught how to beg. This would explain the revolving series of causes and their respective beggers.

    ReplyDelete
  25. AnonymousJuly 26, 2007

    These kids are just doing their best at a shitty job.

    Rusty, however, is shitty at what I'm sure is, at worst, an "ok" job.

    By shitty, I mean I'm pretty sure whoever employs him is not paying him to blog all day.

    ReplyDelete
  26. AnonymousJuly 26, 2007

    I was stopped by a girl from Greenpeace the other day in Dupont. She had a sad little puppy face so I felt obliged to indulge her in her little conversation. At the end she wanted all my money and I explained I'd prefer to pay off my credit card debt, however, I was interested in what I could do that did not involve money. She looked at me like I had just switched to speaking ancient Armenian. She said there was nothing she could inform me I could do to help the environment other than give money to Greenpeace.

    I'll let you judge from there.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Random Homeless Woman ChaserJuly 26, 2007

    WHORE!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. lil yungin from s.e. dcJuly 26, 2007

    She could do some of this for some money if she really want money yo

    :O

    :O

    :O

    :O

    :O

    ReplyDelete
  29. AnonymousJuly 26, 2007

    I'm with Rusty, FUCK EM!! I pass the same terds every workday down at 7th and Indiana Aves NW. 100 friggin degrees outside and they wanna stand there talkin about the friggin environment. LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE! I can't STAND being accosted by these fucks.

    ReplyDelete
  30. AnonymousJuly 26, 2007

    MANPURSE, HAHAHAHA Reminds me of that Seinfeld episode.

    ReplyDelete
  31. *LOL*

    I know what you mean. I wrote about this exact same thing last month. They can be very persistent people.

    ReplyDelete
  32. push a transplant down the escalatorJuly 26, 2007

    99.9% of those fuckers are TRANSPLANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  33. At least the Homeless "protestors" (who are currently in front of my building every day) are being honest. They're in it for the cash and they admit it.

    But what about that gigantic rat? Wouldn't a nice cuddly penguin make people want to like them more?

    ReplyDelete
  34. Three suggestions for Rusty, D.C.'s best political cunt with balls

    1. 'Number Two' for the 'Environ': Take a crap on them, after all, it's bio-degradable.

    2. Streetwalkers: If political whores are allowed on the streets, then why not the real thing? To hell with all this D.C. Madam crap.

    3. A minute of your time: Tell them it's 99 cents the first minute and a $1.99 for every minute thereafter. They are used to calling phone sex; you'll make a bundle.

    ReplyDelete
  35. AnonymousJuly 27, 2007

    It's a shame that these people make this issue seem so negative. The environment is an issue that will affect all of us within the next 50 years or so, and these people are certainly not helping anything. Everything is about money these days.

    ReplyDelete
  36. AnonymousJuly 27, 2007

    those greenpeace kids vandalized my hummer!

    love,
    poor, unsuspecting douchedrinker

    ReplyDelete
  37. Greenpeace is nothing but an ecoterrorist organization that gets their way through violent tactics. Similar to, but not as bad as PETA, which is a terrorist organization plain and simple. These pathetic assholes don't deserve the sweat off my balls if they were dying of thirst. I'd love to see Ingrid Newkirk get eaten by a pitbull she so desperately wants to save. Chew her up and spit her out like the terrorist cunt that she is.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Jet ScreamerJuly 27, 2007

    Mein Gott! A former coworker calls 'em "chuggers," for "charity muggers."

    For some reason, the Greenpeace types leave me alone. I tell the DNC types I'm Canadian (shuts 'em up when they find out you can't vote for whatever it is they're shilling... would say the same to the RNC).

    I can't stand it when I say "I'm busy" or "I'm in a hurry," and they say they'll walk with you. Uh, no! I made the mistake of making eye contact with some children's group chugger about a year ago, and once you make eye contact, it's all over. She started yammering about poor people in Brazil (yup, sucks to be born poor) and then wanting $50 a month from me!

    I'm thinking about telling chuggers who want me to vote for (insert candidate here) that I'm a felon :)

    ReplyDelete
  39. lil yungin from s.e. dcJuly 27, 2007

    dont nobody ever approach me here in southeast

    we gonna be the ones asking they asses for some $$$$$$$$$

    ReplyDelete
  40. At long last, the commenters on here are now exactly as boring, moronic and vapid as Rusty.

    The universe has finally acheived equilibrium.

    ReplyDelete
  41. kim r. is a douche.

    There, now the circle is complete.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Hello. I came across your blog through Michelle Malkin's website. Like you, I am a fan of hers.

    I like your "scorched Earth" approach.

    I am contacting conservative bloggers around the country since I am one as
    well. I hope this email is not an intrusion.

    If you are open to doing a link exchange, I get some pretty decent traffic.

    Thank you.

    eric aka www.blacktygrrrr.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  43. Haha. Michelle Malkin trolling is a success!

    ReplyDelete
  44. AnonymousJuly 31, 2007

    dude. do you believe the stuff you write? it doesn't seem like it because your hate and anger is coming across as pretty fake.

    ReplyDelete