Many of you have noted that I live in Friendship Heights. Ward 3. The 2nd Police District. Life is sweet for me. Two Metro stops, no crime, good shopping. Did you know that the 2nd District only handles 5 percent of the District's emergency calls? Pretty sweet. Two chickens in every pot, two cars in every garage, and two cops on every street corner.
Police Chief Lanier has noted that while the 2nd District is living easy, the 3rd District is being overburdened. The 3rd District handles 21 percent of the city's emergency calls and the system is overloaded. Solution: Take one part of the 3rd District (Dupont/U Street) and merge it with the 2nd. Cops will still be working the same beats.
Ah, but it wouldn't be DC without some assholes getting riled up about helping people in the more dangerous parts of the city.
"This is a big deal," said Spence Spencer, president of the Palisades Citizens Association. "Most concerning is that there will be a de facto drain of resources away from us."
1. Spence Spencer? Are you kidding me? Spence Spencer!?
2. Fuck the Palisades. Fuck your nice restaurants and old-timey charm. Fuck your total inaccessibility. The only way I can get to this neighborhood is by walking along a freaking parkway. That shit is dangerous. The Palisades might as well be Bowie, Lancaster, or Herndon.
3. Well, your calls to 911 for Palisades crime (loitering?) will still be heeded. You'll still have the same amount of officers on the Palisades streets. Almost nothing will change. Other than the 2nd District's crime rate. That will probably double. Uh-oh. Wouldn't want to hurt that precious Palisades property value, would we?
4. I don't know how much of a shut-in you are, Spence, but I bet you occasionally wander into the Dupont area for some fine dining. Maybe you'll be checking out a museum, enjoying an Appletini at Kramerbooks, or, depending which way you swing, grinding with the boys at The Fireplace. The PSA in question, 306, is filled with all sorts of things for a Palisidian to do. I would hate for you to get mugged there only to find a delayed police response because the 3rd District call center is packed while the 2nd District call center is overflowing with complaints about loud rock music and cats in trees.
Cleveland Park resident Bill Adler put it slightly more eloquently:
"It's not like I live my entire life in Cleveland Park and don't go to Dupont Circle or Logan Circle for dinner sometimes," Adler said. "Crime is fluid. We have to share."
Bravo, Mr. Adler!
And bravo, Chief Lanier. The switch from 306 to 208 is a wonderful idea. Please do not let NIMBY ass-hats like Spence(r) prevent a change that will lead to a safer downtown.