You're a Superstar Livin' in the 306 208

Many of you have noted that I live in Friendship Heights. Ward 3. The 2nd Police District. Life is sweet for me. Two Metro stops, no crime, good shopping. Did you know that the 2nd District only handles 5 percent of the District's emergency calls? Pretty sweet. Two chickens in every pot, two cars in every garage, and two cops on every street corner.

Police Chief Lanier has noted that while the 2nd District is living easy, the 3rd District is being overburdened. The 3rd District handles 21 percent of the city's emergency calls and the system is overloaded. Solution: Take one part of the 3rd District (Dupont/U Street) and merge it with the 2nd. Cops will still be working the same beats.

Ah, but it wouldn't be DC without some assholes getting riled up about helping people in the more dangerous parts of the city.

"This is a big deal," said Spence Spencer, president of the Palisades Citizens Association. "Most concerning is that there will be a de facto drain of resources away from us."

1. Spence Spencer? Are you kidding me? Spence Spencer!?

2. Fuck the Palisades. Fuck your nice restaurants and old-timey charm. Fuck your total inaccessibility. The only way I can get to this neighborhood is by walking along a freaking parkway. That shit is dangerous. The Palisades might as well be Bowie, Lancaster, or Herndon.

3. Well, your calls to 911 for Palisades crime (loitering?) will still be heeded. You'll still have the same amount of officers on the Palisades streets. Almost nothing will change. Other than the 2nd District's crime rate. That will probably double. Uh-oh. Wouldn't want to hurt that precious Palisades property value, would we?

4. I don't know how much of a shut-in you are, Spence, but I bet you occasionally wander into the Dupont area for some fine dining. Maybe you'll be checking out a museum, enjoying an Appletini at Kramerbooks, or, depending which way you swing, grinding with the boys at The Fireplace. The PSA in question, 306, is filled with all sorts of things for a Palisidian to do. I would hate for you to get mugged there only to find a delayed police response because the 3rd District call center is packed while the 2nd District call center is overflowing with complaints about loud rock music and cats in trees.

Cleveland Park resident Bill Adler put it slightly more eloquently:

"It's not like I live my entire life in Cleveland Park and don't go to Dupont Circle or Logan Circle for dinner sometimes," Adler said. "Crime is fluid. We have to share."

Bravo, Mr. Adler!

And bravo, Chief Lanier. The switch from 306 to 208 is a wonderful idea. Please do not let NIMBY ass-hats like Spence(r) prevent a change that will lead to a safer downtown.


  1. AnonymousJuly 10, 2007

    Spence(r)'s attitude does not surprise me in the least; as a former Palisades resident I can definitely second your observations about its total inaccessibility, high percentage of asshats, etc. What always amazed me most was the DC Police car parked out in front of my apartment Every. Day. For TWO YEARS. Fantastic use of the city's limitless resources.

    Incidentally, your post about Georgetown kids a while back was depressingly spot-on. As a grad student there I once spotted the elusive tri-popped collar. Precious.

  2. AnonymousJuly 10, 2007

    I am a former Palisades resident, and while chiding a roommate for walking home alone really late at night (there really is no other way to get there, save a few spotty bus lines), I opened up the Northwest Current to show them the recent crime that had been committed in the area.

    There had been none.

    Literally zero.

    Besides being the only time I've ever been wrong about anything ever, it was also the time it really sunk in that we were living the life over in the Palisades.

  3. georgetown prep alumJuly 10, 2007

    You are not really a resident.

    You rent a room. Some of the rest of you live in basements.

    That does not classify you as being residents.

    You all are boarders.

    The truth has been spoken.

    Deal with it.

  4. AnonymousJuly 10, 2007

    I attended several ANC meetings around DC for a journalism course at AU.

    As anyone who has attended or read about an ANC meeting can attest, they complain about anything and everything.

    When I attended the ANC 3d commission, I was astonished about how little they had to complain about.

  5. I think it's time the Palasides get thier own "projects."

  6. AnonymousJuly 10, 2007

    hey Georgetown Prep Alum - go back to Rockville

  7. Shit, Rusty, I know you think I'm just another sucker perpetrator livin' in the 307.

  8. Ed,

    Good work.

  9. AnonymousJuly 10, 2007

    You rent a room. Some of the rest of you live in basements.

    That does not classify you as being residents.

    You all are boarders.


  10. AnonymousJuly 10, 2007

    Um "georgetown prep alum," if that is your real name, this is Washington, NOBODY is from here (at least nobody living in Northwest). And both renters, and the slightly longer-term transients who owns property share an interest in not getting mugged in Dupont Circle.

  11. AnonymousJuly 10, 2007

    Also, you're an ass

  12. AnonymousJuly 10, 2007

    I think Spence and Bill should meet for an old fashioned rumble.

  13. saltine cracker allianceJuly 10, 2007

    No different than all the latinos who pack themselves into tiny little apartments. The only difference is.
    All yall are a bunch of saltines.

  14. hollaback gurlJuly 10, 2007

    I live in NW and am from here.
    I have live here all 13 years of my life.

  15. Rusty, he who has the gold makes the rules. You're an American - you should know this.

    On a side note, another relatively quiet and crime free (but not totally) is my hood...Mount Pleasant. Decent rents, quick access to Adams Morgan. Not that you asked. There are some beautiful and huge mansions wedged in between all the Victorian row homes. Plus I can walk to Tonic, a big plus.


  16. AnonymousJuly 10, 2007

    DC Dude...


    - DC Lady

  17. DC Dude, I am often in the Mt. Pleasant area. Tonic is wonderful although their Bloody Marys (Maries?) are weak. Still haven't been to The Raven either.

    I don't know if I could bring myself to live in the 301 though. I hear it's so ridden with crime that they need the the 2nd District to pitch in.

  18. Er, I grew up in Glover Park, so I think I'm "from here."

    Back in the day, we didn't have Bourbon or Whole Foods, yet somehow still made do.

    Speaking for myself, DC should give the palisades to Potomac.

  19. DC Lady - Sorry....my bad.

    Rusty: I went to the Raven for the first time not long ago. It's a dive to the T. Whilst I can see how some people would like the joint, it was very rough around the edges. Raven does attract an interesting crowd. You should ckeck it out. Out of Wonderland, Raven and Tonic - Raven is by far the "grittiest" of the three. Back to Tonic: I love love love love that place. Great eclectic mix of music, patrons and staff. Good stuff. Enough of my side rant...back to work.

  20. AnonymousJuly 10, 2007

    Spence Spencer [is] Washington director of the Public International Law and Policy Group, a nonprofit that promotes legal assistance to governments in transition; he spent two weeks in Iraq in July advising the constitutional committee.


    wow, it simply could not be more fitting

  21. AnonymousJuly 10, 2007

    Why don't we change "Mt. Pleasant Ave" to "Avenida Agradable De la Montaña" to go with the neighborhood.

  22. AnonymousJuly 11, 2007

    All yall are a bunch of saltines.



  23. AnonymousJuly 11, 2007

    6/10/07 reponse from "georgetown prep alum"....

    Fuck You you pretty boy!!!!!

    Renters are Residents as we pay taxes too!


  24. As for the "Avenida Agradable De la Montaña" comment....I live in Mount Pleasant but not on or even near Mt. Pleasant Ave. So, to assume all of Mount Pleasant is just like what you see on Mt. Pleasant Ave is both ignorant and misguided. That being said, the Hispanic population in the area does not bother me in the slightest. They are far from dangerous or intimidating, if fact they are decent hardworking people that don’t panhandle. But if you're a racist and scared of them...they are slowly being ran out by gentrification anyway. And soon MtP will be just like every other part of the city...overpriced and crime riddled. Happy you bitch?

    Hey….let's relocate the displaced MtP Hispanic citizens in the Palisades!!!! They'd just have a f**king coronary over there. Surely that would justify their desire to hog the social resources.

  25. DC Dude -

    I, too, live in Mt. P - right next to the luciousness of the park. But you're wrong wrong wrong about the lack of crime. The back window of my car was broken yesterday (I hope they enjoyed the $4 in my ashtray). Last week, there was a guy on a bike who was pretending to work on the yard of the people next door (he was spraying weedkiller into dirt). I like the neighborhood, but let's be honest about the crime. It is something that goes with the territory of living in DC (or any city, for that matter). On the subject of this post: Cops need to be placed based on where they are needed, not property values.

    To the anonymous white boy/girl who tried to be clever with "Avenida Agradable De la Montaña - don't try and translate using your online Spanish dictionary. It just embarasses you and me.

  26. La Chingona: If you refer to my earlier posts you will see that I clearly stated that while far from crime-ridden, the area is not crime free. I feel your pain, my car had the lock punched out and was ransacked. Lucky for me I leave nothing of real value in the car and nothing was stolen (not even a pair of Gucci sunglasses on the dash – My Matlock skills tell me culprit either had no taste and/or was not gay). But our area doesn’t see a ridiculously high rate of violent crime unlike the other 65-70% of the city. It’s more the occasional petty theft or mugging….same for Georgetown nowadays. But in DC proper, MtP crime rates aren’t too bad.

  27. AnonymousJuly 12, 2007

    I am a Palisades resident and I have had several encounters with these uptight bastards. They are almost uniformly old and stinky, with poor hygeine and crappy cars. I remember reading a neighborhood newsletter that was encouraging people to keep an eye out for...anyone without DC plates or a DC parking reciprocity permit and turn them in. AND TURN THEM IN. As if the district doesn't have enough real law enforcement issues to deal with - it needs a bunch of vigilante old farts patrolling for traffic violations.

    On the other hand, there is that loonie bin on MacArthur and sometimes crazies do get loose.

  28. AnonymousJuly 31, 2007

    I live in PSA 306, a block away from the 3d District Police station and I would NOT benefit from the PSAs shifting. Sure, I understand the argument about 2nd District having less crime but if you look at the map, a LOT of people here would live too far away from the 2nd District HQ on Idaho Avenue. It's like a 20 minute drive.

    Plus, I'm kinda selfish and like my cops right here, where they respond within 5 minutes when I call.