Shocking

I have some shocking news. Everyone sit down for this. DC's tap water is polluted to the point where it could be causing low birth weight and birth defects.

*GASP!*

If it's not lead it's something else. This time it's chlorine pollutants. It seems that DC has been working so hard to clean the city's drinking water that they went a bit too far. The end result is the same: we are being poisoned.

WASA's head is wedged in the sand:

WASA General Manager Jerry N. Johnson did not respond to calls for comment. His spokesman, Michele Quander-Collins, said WASA's testing shows acceptable levels of disinfection toxins in the water supply in every monthly test this year.

"The byproduct levels we test for at eight EPA-approved locations have been well within EPA parameters," she said. "Our tests don't show high levels."

Just like your tests don't show broken fire hydrants? Ask a Georgetown librarian how those tests went. I swear to God, a little part of me dies everytime I pay a utility bill to these incompetent fucks.

Washington Aqueduct General Manager Thomas P. Jacobus pointed out that the testing was done after a "chlorine surge" to clear out DC's sewers of any grossness. Since the EPA averages every monthly sample, on the whole, the water is safe. Well, color me unimpressed. I'm psyched that the water is usually within EPA parameters. However, at one point, there was a two in five chance that I was drinking something unacceptably harmful to my body (note: things like alcohol and cream soda are acceptably unhealthy). That doesn't make me sleep any better at night.