One in Ten

So it's the DC Water and Sewer Authority's (WASA) job to make sure that all the fire hydrants in the city are in proper working order. Once a city agency is in charge of something, failure becomes inevitable. When the Georgetown Library was ablaze, firefighters noticed that the two closest hydrants to the library were broken. Obviously, that makes it harder to put out a fire.

Thankfully, the DC Firefighters Association decided to fuck WASA's noise by checking the hydrants themselves. The results are hilarious. And by "hilarious," I mean "life threatening."

WASA's shit is not together. They claim 38 hydrants are out across the city. In actuality, it's probably over 900. That's over 10% of city's hydrants that aren't working. Since WASA is blind to this, they can't tell the firefighters what's up. In the words of DC Fire Chief Dennis L. Rubin, fighting fires in DC is akin to "playing Russian roulette."

Perhaps even more hilariously, there are 125 hydrants that aren't even on WASA's maps. It's hard to check to see if a hydrant is working if there is no record of its existence.

Let's check to see how other cities and counties are doing regarding fire hydrants:

In neighboring counties with newer infrastructure, there are few problems. The Washington Suburban Sanitary Commission maintains about 40,000 hydrants in Prince George's County and more than 20,000 in Montgomery County. Of those, about a dozen in various locations were out of commission on a recent day, and repairs were imminent, officials said.

In Baltimore and Baltimore County, where there are about 22,000 hydrants, 91 are out of service, according to Kurt Kocher, a spokesman for the Baltimore Public Works Department, which also oversees hydrants in the county. The fire departments in the city and county conduct quarterly tests to maintain them, Kocher said.

It takes a special city to make Baltimore look good by comparison.

WASA has a long history of incompetent suckage, too:

The problems once again put WASA under public scrutiny over safety issues. High lead levels in D.C. drinking water posed a potential health hazard from late 2001 to 2004, and WASA was criticized for failing to quickly alert the public. The agency later agreed to replace all lead pipes in the city.

[Jerry N.] Johnson is the only person to serve as WASA's general manager, having overseen the quasi-independent agency since 1997.

Perhaps it's time Jerry looked for a new line of work. He'd be better suited quasi-independently flipping burgers. He is doing a terrible job. I mean, if your home or business ends up on fire, you have a 10% chance of getting fucked over. Unbelievable.