I've never been to The Birchmere. There's an automatic strike against it for not being remotely Metro accessible. I've always considered it to be a place where artists that skew towards older audiences can go to sap cash out of their boomer fans. A quick look at their schedule shows that to be an accurate description of this venue. For sixty bucks you can see ASIA with all four original members. How effing sweet is that!?
Seriously. Sixty bucks for ASIA!
So, I was checking out The Birchmere website to see exactly how to get to this place. Pentagon City and then a cab. Great. I can say that The Birchmere, at least according to the website, seems like the strangest venue in all of the land. I mean, every venue has rules. Most of the time they're along the lines of "No Drugs" and so forth. The Birchmere has this:
- Silence is requested while the performers are on stage
- You must remain seated during the performance (Unless the dance floor is set up)
Hey! I embedded something!
Perhaps the most hilarious part of their no standing or making noise rule is their menu. That's right, their menu. Look at it. As Toby pointed out, it sure looks like everyone inside is having a good time standing up and being loud. Come on, Birchmere. You can't have it both ways.
And how can I bring up the menu without noting this totally bizarre rule:
There is no outside food or drink allowed. This includes birthday cakes.What the Hell? "QUICK! BLOW OUT THE CANDLES BEFORE SECURITY SEES YOU!" Why do they take extra care to point out that you can't bring birthday cakes? Can you buy birthday cakes inside? Who the Hell brings a birthday cake to a concert!?
This venue seems like it's in an alternate reality (which is as good a way to describe Virginia as anything else). Someone please tell me that the acoustics here are great and that I'll be super-close to Aimee Mann. Because this sounds like the stuffiest concert venue on the planet and I need something, other than the delightful Mrs. Mann of course, to get me pumped for the show.