5.21.2007

Things I Hate

UPDATED BELOW

1. The person who cornered me at DC9 and tried selling me heroin. Bonus points for mentioning that he just got out of jail. Double bonus points for sensing my discomfort and angrily asking me if I was a cop. "You have to tell me if you're a cop!" Surely someone who actually believes that will be going back to jail shortly. Good riddance.

2. The person who frantically rang my doorbell six times at 8:00 am on Saturday morning. I had only been asleep for four hours and was still a little tipsy. What kind of emergency could necessitate waking me up then? Oh, some dude with a lawn mower asking me if I needed my lawn cut for twenty bucks. I told him that if he came back at this hour I would call the police. Perhaps I am too grumpy in the morning. I will have to work on that. Or, even better, I could be one of those crotchety old bastards with a "No Solicitors" sign on my front door.

3. I hate Clarendon for, and I am directly lifting this from The Washington Post, "becoming the place to move in Northern Virginia after a life-changing event, like divorce, the loss of a spouse, a cross-country move, kids moving out or parents dying." Why would people pretend this sounds like a good thing? Your parents just died? Move to Clarendon! Husband cheating on you? CLARENDON!

4. I hate how my comments have again devolved into racially tinged rants and personal attacks. This has happened before. I solved the problem by enabling only Blogger users to leave comments. So, unfortunately, I have to do that again. A lot of good folks leave great comments anonymously. I urge you to register with Blogger so we can continue having a dialogue about DC without that one dude calling me a douche or the other folks talking about how all the problems in the city can be attributed to black people. (Yes, I'm talking to you, Ron Paul.) This is a bummer for me because comments make me happy. It's also a bummer because I know a lot of people who comment anonymously and their remarks are far too clever to go unnoticed. So, please register! Don't let King Friday get the last word on everything I write!

UPDATE:

5. I despise outgoing George Washington University President Stephen Joel Trachtenberg. Why?

The graduation was largely overseen by outgoing President Stephen Joel Trachtenberg, who in a printed farewell handed out to attendees compared his feelings about the school to a love affair.

"We haven't been just hooking up -- we've been going steady, you and I and all the students who came before you," he wrote.

What in tarnation? Hey, Joel? That's a creepy way to end your tenure. I guess I wouldn't expect anything less from the man who employs Laura Sessions Stepp. What is with GW and their creepy infatuations with "hooking up?" (h/t to Matthew Barney Gumble at Mostly Semantics.)

20 comments:

  1. Ah, some good ol' fashioned hatin'. Right on, Rusty.

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  2. hooking up? going steady? sounds like SJT has been reading LSS...

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  3. What's your beef with schmack, man?

    If you spent any time in Claredon, you'd apprecaite a good mainline ride.

    Shit. You ain't a cop, are you?

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  4. Rusty is a douche.

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  5. Jesus. I moved to Clarendon 6 weeks after a girlfriend dumped me and, well, I love it.

    So shut it, Rusty.

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  6. You missed the best part of the ridiculous Clarendon story - the personal trainer who got divorced, wanting to get out of the corporate rat race, so he moved from MAINE to DC! Maine was too busy for him so he moved here. WTF?

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  7. Claredon sucks; it has to if it's listed the best place to go after a traumatizing incident. It's very dull and quiet so as not to rattle all the head cases that move there for tranquility. I'll keep the hell of DC life any day over the monotonous Claredon existence. They do have a Cheesecake Factory restaurant there, though. I guess that's one more plus.

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  8. I'm getting over a chest infection. Time for CLARENDON!

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  9. fucking clarendon. i hate it there. everytime i go i want to stab myself in the hand.

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  10. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/18/AR2007051801653.html?hpid=smartliving

    speaking of LSS...

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  11. "came before you"?? That sounds like a line from a safe-sex ad: remember you aren't just sleeping with him, but everyone he's ever slept with.

    slut.

    also, you probably haven't noticed this, but your favorite LSS has a written a long piece for Marie Claire about hooking up. not satisfied with moralizing to a general audience, she's taken her appeal directly to the chicks.

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  12. You know what I hate?

    Senators and Congressmen who like to fuck with DC by putting anonymous holds on legislation that's been passed by the council and signed by the mayor...democracy in action my ass...I'm looking at you, Mary Landrieu...if there's one place in the country that the District shouldn't seek to emulate when it comes to education and social services, it's Louisiana. Why don't you fuck off back there and worry about dealing with your own state's rather considerable issues before you start fucking with people who you weren't elected to serve?

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  13. Oh, and it looks like LSS is taking her sexploitation crusade against Gen Y to a whole new level...

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  14. Clarendon rocks.

    And, thanks for making an effort to cut the racist garbage. The loons will still get in from time to time we know, but some of us appreciate the effort.

    Even if you are absolutely wrong on Clarendon.

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  15. The Clarendon comment made me crack up at my desk.

    It does make sense though: life gotten boring? Scared of everything? White? Upper middle class but claim you're actually lower middle class? Come hide in scenic Clarendon! We have it all! A caontainer store to store and organize your valuable antiques! A police station a block away to call frantically when your ex husband finds you!

    Anyway ...

    I like Clarendon, but as a place to leisurely wander around in during lunch, not a place to eat, drink, or have a good time. Or if I do those last three things, I do them at the holes in the wall that, thanks to the influx of late middle agers looking for a change, are thriving. See: Dremo's and Java Shack. Of course, the former won't be there much longer, but then again neither will I.

    @Dc Dude: please tell me you're kidding about the Cheesecake Factory comment. You can't both hate Clarendon and like overpriced chain resturaunts whose theme is nothing more than a boring dessert. You sir have no shame.

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  16. Rusty - My place of employment has firewalled your site. Bummer. Yet another reason to get a Sidekick. LOL.

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  17. clarendon is OKAY. it has few notable restaurants. it doesn't have many awesome bars for hanging out. it doesn't really have much to do, generally. it's on the orange line.

    and the average rent there is just as high as it is in friggin cleveland park.

    moral of the story: clarendon ain't cos it not

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  18. Clarendon is hot because it's fly. But it raises the question: Does being hot guarantee one's being fly? "You ain't 'cause you not" would seem to clear that up. It would appear that fly and hot are interchangable. If you are one, you are both; if you aren't at least one, you are neither.

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  19. the genius of "this is why i'm hot":

    http://www.villagevoice.com/music/0711,harvilla,76021,22.html

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