1. The person who cornered me at DC9 and tried selling me heroin. Bonus points for mentioning that he just got out of jail. Double bonus points for sensing my discomfort and angrily asking me if I was a cop. "You have to tell me if you're a cop!" Surely someone who actually believes that will be going back to jail shortly. Good riddance.
2. The person who frantically rang my doorbell six times at 8:00 am on Saturday morning. I had only been asleep for four hours and was still a little tipsy. What kind of emergency could necessitate waking me up then? Oh, some dude with a lawn mower asking me if I needed my lawn cut for twenty bucks. I told him that if he came back at this hour I would call the police. Perhaps I am too grumpy in the morning. I will have to work on that. Or, even better, I could be one of those crotchety old bastards with a "No Solicitors" sign on my front door.
3. I hate Clarendon for, and I am directly lifting this from The Washington Post, "becoming the place to move in Northern Virginia after a life-changing event, like divorce, the loss of a spouse, a cross-country move, kids moving out or parents dying." Why would people pretend this sounds like a good thing? Your parents just died? Move to Clarendon! Husband cheating on you? CLARENDON!
4. I hate how my comments have again devolved into racially tinged rants and personal attacks. This has happened before. I solved the problem by enabling only Blogger users to leave comments. So, unfortunately, I have to do that again. A lot of good folks leave great comments anonymously. I urge you to register with Blogger so we can continue having a dialogue about DC without that one dude calling me a douche or the other folks talking about how all the problems in the city can be attributed to black people. (Yes, I'm talking to you, Ron Paul.) This is a bummer for me because comments make me happy. It's also a bummer because I know a lot of people who comment anonymously and their remarks are far too clever to go unnoticed. So, please register! Don't let King Friday get the last word on everything I write!
5. I despise outgoing George Washington University President Stephen Joel Trachtenberg. Why?
The graduation was largely overseen by outgoing President Stephen Joel Trachtenberg, who in a printed farewell handed out to attendees compared his feelings about the school to a love affair.
"We haven't been just hooking up -- we've been going steady, you and I and all the students who came before you," he wrote.
What in tarnation? Hey, Joel? That's a creepy way to end your tenure. I guess I wouldn't expect anything less from the man who employs Laura Sessions Stepp. What is with GW and their creepy infatuations with "hooking up?" (h/t to Matthew Barney Gumble at Mostly Semantics.)