8.06.2007

Potpourri

It should be really hard to complain about DC after spending a weekend in Baltimore for Virgin Fest. Baltimore...Baltimore has some issues. Walking from Pimlico to the Rogers Avenue Metro station was not the wisest choice. My "white bitches," the title some of my friends were given by a local, agreed.

But, whoo-boy. One hour of Internet and e-mail and suddenly the rage is back. Thanks to all the e-mailers and the blogs (really just DCist) that gave me such valuable ammunition.

First, thanks to a reader for sending me this link. It's pretty boring, so let's dive right into the good stuff:

Washington, D.C., has the country's least safe bridges, with 63 percent of the district's 245 bridges rated either structurally deficient or functionally obsolete.


Hurray! Next time you walk across Rock Creek Park or drive across the Potomac, keep your fingers crossed. The Douglass Bridge is currently closed so there's a minimal chance of joining the distinguished list of corpses pulled from the Anacostia.

To Washington's credit, or, more accurately, to my home state's discredit, Massachusetts is right down there with DC in terms of bridge disrepair. Maybe my folks' property values will go up if they market their house as an island estate should a bridge drop.

Let's move on to my favorite whipping boy: Metro. We all know Metro is in desperate need to limit costs and/or increase revenue. As much as we would all hate a fare increase, there is one idea floating around that is much worse. Metro is considering removing its late-night service.

This is a nightmare. An absolute nightmare. People depend on the Friday and Saturday late-night trains to get home after a night of drinking. What other alternative is there? Busing? That's Metro General Manager John Catoe's suggestion. More buses. Oh my Christ. Mr. Catoe likes making a big deal of how he takes the Metro to work every day. Well, Mr. Catoe, have you ever tried getting a bus after 10pm? It's a fucking crap shoot. Hell, 10pm is being generous. It's always a crap shoot. It won't be any different at 2am.

DCist points out that this could very well lead to an increase in drunk driving. I find it impossible to disagree with them. More people will drive to get to their favorite bars.

The Metro gives reasonable access to most of the city. Buses don't. How the fuck would they expect me to get from U Street to my home in AU Park by bus? I guess I would have to take the Adams-Morgan connector, hop on the L2, and then walk a mile from Connecticut Avenue to Wisconsin Ave. on the same dark street where a New York Times reporter was bludgeoned to coma by some thugs before being killed off by DC paramedics and hospital workers. Thanks, but no thanks, DC.

And can you imagine the effect this will have on bars and nightclubs? This keeps drinkers tied to their bus lines. That leaves me Dupont and, shudder, Georgetown. Any bar off the beaten path will lose business.

The stupidity of removing late-night Metro service astounds me.

Finally, and again from DCist, comes this story of Hawk 'n' Dove refusing to admit Marines unless they're in uniform or accompanied by a lady. I hate to get all Michelle Malkin on you, but it takes a special kind of asshole to treat soldiers with anything but the utmost respect. I love me some pacifism too, but, Christ, these people are risking their lives for us. Just because I don't support the war in Iraq doesn't mean that I don't have the most sincere pride in knowing that my uncle is over there fighting for me.

So, fuck you Hawk 'n' Dove. Fuck you hard. They claim that Eastern Market bars were being hassled by Marines in the early-1990s. Uniform and women keep them behaved. If that's the case, Marines aren't the problem. Douchebags are the problem. To single out Marines as aggressive unruly men is unfair and disgusting. I've never been to Hawk 'n' Dove which makes it considerably easier for me to boycott it.

Boycott established.

35 comments:

  1. I'm sorry...but notwithstanding the obvious discriminatory effect here...how in the hell does one determine whether a guy is a Marine or not?

    So, basically, if you have a crew-cut, they ask you if you're a Marine, and if you say yes, you're not coming in? What if he lies and says no? What if he has a regular driver's license and doesn't show his military ID?

    Here's another thought...has anyone noticed the haircuts that 95% of all Capitol police officers, Secret Service agents, and DC cops sport? Crew-cuts. Tons of them. Are they banned too? What if they USED to be Marines?

    This is the most ridiculous bullshit i've heard in quite sometime.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The nightclub bar scene in DC has been dead for years.

    Back in it's heyday in the 70's 80's and even part of the 90's people were able to get back and forth from the clubs without the metro running late night hours on the weekends.

    So there is no reason why it cannot happen again. The transportation part yes, but the once vibrant nightclub/bar scene will never happen again.

    Today's 20 something crowd is far too lame to ever bring the same energy and excitement to this town again.

    R.I.P. DC

    ReplyDelete
  3. Um, if you were of "club scene" age in the 70's, you're old as hell.

    You're supposed to think us 20-somethings are lame. Also, that our rock music is too loud and that we're spoiled because we get to wear shoes in our uphill-bothways trek to work.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You don't want to go to the Hawk 'n' Dove.

    The floors are coated in the ejaculate of young house staffers who've brought themselves to orgasm by verbally masturbating their egos.

    Your shoes will get stuck.

    ReplyDelete
  5. i'm not really sure why you have to start to boycott hawk n dove now since it has been discustingly shitty for the past four years.

    also, metro totally sucks. i just read all the whining on dcist and i think the move to maryland is really starting to turn out in my favor.

    ReplyDelete
  6. HahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaAugust 06, 2007

    Also, that our rock music is too loud

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  7. hippest of the hipstersAugust 06, 2007

    Too loud?
    You are joking right?

    It's not too loud. It just sucks. Sucks major ass.

    Have a nice day you transplant douche_scrub.

    ReplyDelete
  8. if anything, the music 20-somethings listen to these days isn't loud ENOUGH...

    ReplyDelete
  9. I like how somehow being "from" DC automatically gives you some sick cred.

    1. I could have moved here 10 days ago or 10 years ago. Just because I wasn't born in the district doesn't mean I suck. I suck for many other assorted reasons. None have to do with where I was born.

    2. If it has to do with really "appreciating" the city, I chose to move here -- you just happened to fall out of your mom here.

    3. You either probably went to a really shitty high school, or a really annoying private one.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Regarding no late night Metro, do you suppose he's just bringing up the most absurd ideas so that anything else will look better by comparison?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Everyone knows that DC’s nightlife simply does not exist. Case closed. So why the fuck do you need Metro late at night? To go to the imaginary hip after hour clubs and lounges? Don’t think so!!!!

    Furthermore, although I am one, 20-something rock music blows too. Need a reference list for suck-ass shitty lame 20-something rock bands? Look to 97% of the Virgin Festival line-up! And yes I can say this. I am myself a 20 something. And I happen to hate most “new” rock music I hear. And people I meet…as far as that goes.

    Lastly, who cares about the Hawk and Dove? Nasty place in a nasty part of town. And Rusty, your prissy ass (in a previous post) was implied my neighborhood was crime ridden? So I’m kinda struggling with why you would (a) have anything to say about a place in SE (b) would care enough encourage a boycott. Just stay in Chevy Chass…er, Friendship Heights.

    ReplyDelete
  12. "if anything, the music 20-somethings listen to these days isn't loud ENOUGH... "

    Amen.

    ReplyDelete
  13. "Furthermore, although I am one, 20-something rock music blows too. Need a reference list for suck-ass shitty lame 20-something rock bands? Look to 97% of the Virgin Festival line-up!"

    Amen again.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Don't like SE? Don't comeAugust 07, 2007

    rusty, you have no fucking idea what you're talking about. Marines have had an on and off ban from the Hawk for at least the past 10 years. and while they may be fighting for our country, that doesn't excuse them from getting drunk and launching themselves (and their entire crew) at other patrons for the crime of dancing with girls, accidentally stepping on toes, etc... they brought in on themselves, again.
    As for your boycott, don't come. Hawk regulars go to the hawk because it is dark, dank, and full of people we know. We don't like tourists. And everyone who doesn't live on the hill is a tourist.

    ReplyDelete
  15. The Marines brought it on themselves? Really? If my friend (2 tours in Iraq with the Marines) decides to go to Hawk 'n' Dove, he should be denied entry because he brought it on himself?

    Fucking ridiculous.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ok, il ratto.

    "if anything, the music 20-somethings listen to these days isn't loud ENOUGH..."

    Really? A few posts ago you were complaining about The White Stripes? They're the loudest act I've seen.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh Rusty, I wondered where you were for the past few days. I was just "dying" to hear about you going to Virgin fest. I knew that you would since it's such a cliche 20-something thing to do. And Pimlico sucks....well DUH. What did you expect, the Patriot Center? HA.

    As for the Hawk and Dove: Seriously you've actually been there? On Capitol Hill (not to be confused with another Hawk and Dove that I don't know about)? Silly boy, NO ONE GOES THERE but complete douche bags-hence why you are there?

    Rusty, at some point you are going to have to grab a hold of your manhood and do something real in this town. Sure it sucks, sure it has nothing to do, but when you willingly and purposly go to Virgin fest and Hawk N Dove, you are just pandering.

    XOXOXOXOX

    ReplyDelete
  18. i didn't go to v-fest because i would be paying $100 to only see dan deacon, then leave. he was the only part of that lineup that wasn't a vanilla smoothie of lameness, and it's too bad his set was only scheduled to be 15-20 minutes.

    ReplyDelete
  19. BBTY,

    I have never been to the Hawk 'n' Dove. Ever. It's too far away and I am lazy. That's why I said it's easy to boycott a place I've never been.

    And I can't fauly anyone for hating the V-Fest lineup. 311!? Argh.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Really? A few posts ago you were complaining about The White Stripes? They're the loudest act I've seen.

    You dont count because you were born in 1986.

    ReplyDelete
  21. rusty if you've never been to hawk and dove, how can you say that marines aren't the problem? in my experience they are, or at the group of marines who attacked my friends for no reason the last time we were there.

    ReplyDelete
  22. There are problems at all bars. To take a group of people and categorically ban them unless they're in uniform or with a lady is madness.

    What if a bar did this to black people? "The last two fights were with black patrons so blacks are only allowed in if they are accompanied by a lady or if they are wearing a suit."

    Individual people are the problem, not the Marines.

    ReplyDelete
  23. so you're saying bars don't have the right to decide who they will serve or enforce a dress code?

    ReplyDelete
  24. Well, the dress code doesn't apply to every one, so, no. And they can deny admittance to anyone they want. That is their right. Just because it's within their rights doesn't make it the right thing to do.

    It makes just as much sense to not let any unaccompanied men into any bar because men are more likely to cause problems. I bet anyone defending this horrible policy would have a problem with that.

    Frankly, I think anyone defending this policy is a fucking moron. If someone causes a problem, kick them out and ban them for life. Done and done.

    ReplyDelete
  25. i didn't go to v-fest because i would be paying $100 to only see dan deacon, then leave. he was the only part of that lineup that wasn't a vanilla smoothie of lameness, and it's too bad his set was only scheduled to be 15-20 minutes.

    Says the guy who likes Reel Big Fish. Come on, dude, try harder.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Let's be real. This isn't 18th century Regency England. Hawk 'n' Dove's policy is rediculous.

    DC Lady
    I don't think being being a native Washingtonian gives me "some sick cred". As a matter of fact I have more than a few DC transplants as close friends. You should hear some of the s--- the say about DC.

    Sensible Washingtonians do no trip over whether someone is originally from Washington or not. Believe me, we have our complaints about DC like anyone else.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Uhh people you really should complain about losing late metro service, who the fuck cares about the4 Hawk N dove or lame bands at Virgin. We neet a million young professionals protesting this on the mall. Catoe just became a bastard in my book.

    ReplyDelete
  28. woah, it's been a while since i updated that blogger profile.

    reel big fish is probably the most fun band i have ever seen live (with the exception of AWK, if you're into him). while ska has long gone out of style (party like it's 1998), it is still ten times more fun than indie-rock.

    pop/rock music is not on par with the works of classical masterpieces. it is a lower-level art. therefore, the fun factor should be taken more seriously than the artsy factor. that's my major beef with indie rock.

    ReplyDelete
  29. "As for your boycott, don't come. Hawk regulars go to the hawk because it is dark, dank, and full of people we know."

    Pompous overeducated dipshits?

    "We don't like tourists. And everyone who doesn't live on the hill is a tourist."

    Come to Northeast and say that to me, bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  30. why would anyone want to come to northeast at all, let alone to tell some bitch they're a tourist?

    ReplyDelete
  31. Because D.C. doesn't begin and end with that douche-filled enclave.
    Anyone who doesn't realize that is the real tourist.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Check out the New York MTA collapsing under its own weight today (8/8). Basically, the whole thing is shut down because it rained. It rained a lot, but still, it was just rain.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Ted Kennedy's LiverAugust 08, 2007

    Justin, it fucking flooded, sergeant brainwrecked. When water comes over the third rail, there's not much you can do, shitspiller.

    ReplyDelete
  34. People who live there say there was a storm just as bad a few weeks ago. But on the other hand, I guess I am kind of a shitspiller.

    ReplyDelete