It should be really hard to complain about DC after spending a weekend in Baltimore for Virgin Fest. Baltimore...Baltimore has some issues. Walking from Pimlico to the Rogers Avenue Metro station was not the wisest choice. My "white bitches," the title some of my friends were given by a local, agreed.
But, whoo-boy. One hour of Internet and e-mail and suddenly the rage is back. Thanks to all the e-mailers and the blogs (really just DCist) that gave me such valuable ammunition.
First, thanks to a reader for sending me this link. It's pretty boring, so let's dive right into the good stuff:
Washington, D.C., has the country's least safe bridges, with 63 percent of the district's 245 bridges rated either structurally deficient or functionally obsolete.
Hurray! Next time you walk across Rock Creek Park or drive across the Potomac, keep your fingers crossed. The Douglass Bridge is currently closed so there's a minimal chance of joining the distinguished list of corpses pulled from the Anacostia.
To Washington's credit, or, more accurately, to my home state's discredit, Massachusetts is right down there with DC in terms of bridge disrepair. Maybe my folks' property values will go up if they market their house as an island estate should a bridge drop.
Let's move on to my favorite whipping boy: Metro. We all know Metro is in desperate need to limit costs and/or increase revenue. As much as we would all hate a fare increase, there is one idea floating around that is much worse. Metro is considering removing its late-night service.
This is a nightmare. An absolute nightmare. People depend on the Friday and Saturday late-night trains to get home after a night of drinking. What other alternative is there? Busing? That's Metro General Manager John Catoe's suggestion. More buses. Oh my Christ. Mr. Catoe likes making a big deal of how he takes the Metro to work every day. Well, Mr. Catoe, have you ever tried getting a bus after 10pm? It's a fucking crap shoot. Hell, 10pm is being generous. It's always a crap shoot. It won't be any different at 2am.
DCist points out that this could very well lead to an increase in drunk driving. I find it impossible to disagree with them. More people will drive to get to their favorite bars.
The Metro gives reasonable access to most of the city. Buses don't. How the fuck would they expect me to get from U Street to my home in AU Park by bus? I guess I would have to take the Adams-Morgan connector, hop on the L2, and then walk a mile from Connecticut Avenue to Wisconsin Ave. on the same dark street where a New York Times reporter was bludgeoned to coma by some thugs before being killed off by DC paramedics and hospital workers. Thanks, but no thanks, DC.
And can you imagine the effect this will have on bars and nightclubs? This keeps drinkers tied to their bus lines. That leaves me Dupont and, shudder, Georgetown. Any bar off the beaten path will lose business.
The stupidity of removing late-night Metro service astounds me.
Finally, and again from DCist, comes this story of Hawk 'n' Dove refusing to admit Marines unless they're in uniform or accompanied by a lady. I hate to get all Michelle Malkin on you, but it takes a special kind of asshole to treat soldiers with anything but the utmost respect. I love me some pacifism too, but, Christ, these people are risking their lives for us. Just because I don't support the war in Iraq doesn't mean that I don't have the most sincere pride in knowing that my uncle is over there fighting for me.
So, fuck you Hawk 'n' Dove. Fuck you hard. They claim that Eastern Market bars were being hassled by Marines in the early-1990s. Uniform and women keep them behaved. If that's the case, Marines aren't the problem. Douchebags are the problem. To single out Marines as aggressive unruly men is unfair and disgusting. I've never been to Hawk 'n' Dove which makes it considerably easier for me to boycott it.