This is old, but a friend, Agatha, just sent it to me today:
Downtown Washington: Because you (or at least your 15th and L brethren) work right near there, perhaps you have some sort of dirt on that sketched-out bar on L Street at 15th, right next to Ollie's Trolley and down the street from the Post Pub. It only seems to be open late at night, has a hand-written sign in the window that says "Smoking Allowed Here" and always seems to have about 10-15 shady-looking people hanging out front. Any ideas? I work near there at night, and always have been curious.
Fritz: That's the bar attached to Ollie's Trolley, which does -- somehow -- have one of the few permits allowing indoor smoking in Washington. It does feel kind of sketchy inside, but if you need a smoke with a bottle of beer ...
Well, it should feel sketchy because it's a fucking brothel. Agatha, Toby, and I stumbled across it after The Green Lantern got a little too touchy-feely-cruisy for my tastes. This was back in July, 2005.
Agatha and I walked in and knew immediately that we were in the company of prostitutes. That area is known for prostitution, so, whatever. We were further skeeved out by the bar's refusal to take credit cards. And there was a TV playing HBO's Real Sex.
My favorite touch was the upstairs. It consisted of two locked doors and a smoke machine. How someone can mistake this for anything but a brothel is amazing.
Toby and Ag pretended to make out because they figured, correctly, that seeing me navigate this awkward situation without a safety net would be hilarious. Sure enough, a prostitute asked me if I was looking for a good time. I was not. She wouldn't really take "no" for an answer. The bartender pulled me aside and asked her to leave me alone.
Thanks, Mr. Bartender!
Haha, just kidding. The bartender takes me to the cash register where he shows me a bunch of photos of that same woman naked and finger-blasting herself.
I made a quick exit.
So, yeah. No matter how much you love smoking indoors, do not go to the bar above Ollie's Trolley.
But if you love hookers, go nuts.