7.15.2008

James sets the new girl on a better path...

I thought I was being all smart today and then: 



james said...
I'm not sure how long you've lived here, but I can't endorse this advice.

1. By all means take certain things personally, and file them away. Don't make a habit of being shit upon.

2. If someone reneges on a promise, hold it against them forever.

3. If you agree to work for peanuts or for free, you'd better be a college student looking for an internship. Otherwise, you're a jackass. There are a ton of jobs out there, and the market isn't actually all that competitive as long as you show up and speak English. Get paid what you're worth.

4. People "back home" shouldn't think this is insane. They aren't a collection of rubes and hayseeds, they understand DC is the seat of our federal government and you should be able to explain your job to them.

5. Network only if you have to and if you enjoy it. Don't feel like you have to talk shop at a bar. It can be annoying. It's fulfilling to date and have friends outside your sphere of work.

6/7/8. Some people b.s. more than others. You'll figure it out soon enough.

9. Avoid self-important assholes with something to prove. They are poseurs and they can't help you.

10. Tip according to service, whether you suspect your waiter/bartender may someday be in a position to help you or not. Hardworking garden-variety restaurant staff deserve tips just as much as douchebag hill staffers.

I still disagree with the part about the service. I wasn't saying you should tip in the hopes that your server will eventually do something for you. I was trying to, in a midwestern way, talk around the fact that the overstressed self-important people splitting an appetizer over their happy hour special drink for two hours at a table while sucking down eight glasses of water and loudly talking about what a dump the place is might not want to further enrage a service employee who could be encountered in a totally different role sooner than you'd think.

17 comments:

  1. From your original post:

    "D.C. is a town of job hoppers. Almost everyone was a high school academic all-star. We won debate competitions, awards in 'leadership seminars' and scholarships to colleges that are either Ivy League, or 'Better than the Ivy League,' in whichever particular field the alumnus majored. Now we live for the emails we can send home to Mom and Pop. 'Dear Folks, I beat out thirty other candidates for the senior-SENIOR executive assistant job with The Whatever Institute. This means I will now be answering phones for some of the greatest minds of our generation.'"

    I love that people move here from everywhere else, and then hate on DC because of...the other d-bags who moved here from somewhere else.

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  2. Yeah. I was including myself in the d-bags who act like a job answering phones for someone important is the BEST THING that ever happened, though. It's like we're all obsessed with being around people who do big things, rather than trying to do anything on our own.

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  3. I am shitting myself with boredom. More AIDS jokes please.

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  4. AnonymousJuly 15, 2008

    "the overstressed self-important people"

    ^ Your fellow midwesterners.

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  5. AnonymousJuly 15, 2008

    3RD DOWN.

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  6. I agree with some but have to take issue with a few:

    2. Assume that everyone's an asshole, and have a backup plan if they reneg on their promise. But don't hold it against them forever; you'll probably need something from them another time. Everyone screws up.

    10. Absurdly overtip at your neighborhood or regular bars/restaurants. No matter how shitty the service is the first few times you go there. It will pay off eventually, and you will be able to impress dates by being on a first-name basis with everyone at the establishment.

    And always remember this one:

    11. Avoid people who don't drink, they are not to be trusted. Exception: former alcoholics.

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  7. i think you need to add "people here don't understand sarcasm." I don't understand what it is James is talking about - I've never met more "just do what i did" people in my life that I have here. I love when it comes from one of those only-child-of-two-professionals types, too: "i'm just so glad i don't have college debt."

    you got hit with a lot of flack, but you got it right the first time.

    note to everyone in this town that is not a lawyer: yes, you are making shit. call me when you can actually afford to buy a place to live that isn't a recent crime scene or "only a short drive to the nearest metro!"

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  8. you not urban yo. stop trying to fake it.July 15, 2008

    Walking on Euclid street at 2AM in the morning with your flips flops and huge sunglasses on automatically tells the natives looking for trouble that you are not from here.

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  9. Rae,

    Speaking of boredom, you haven't updated your site in about a month. This is disappointing to me.

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  10. " I love when it comes from one of those only-child-of-two-professionals types, too: "i'm just so glad i don't have college debt.""

    Comment of the day, my man.

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  11. AnonymousJuly 15, 2008

    edthered: I only wish I had said this first. Bra-fucking-vo.

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  12. AnonymousJuly 15, 2008

    Liz spelled backwards spells Zil

    Meaning Zilch. Zero. Nada.

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  13. AnonymousJuly 15, 2008

    Hey Rusty, what other services did this girl provide for you as an extra bonus in addition to the essay?

    Be honest with us now.

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  14. The losing essays must be torture.

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  15. Yeah Rusty, I apologize for that, I sense that MBSR may have come to a puttering end, neither Steg or I have had time/inspiration recently.

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  16. 6/7/8 : So true here. Lord Jesus help me, if this isn't a town full of people who've done amazing things with families who've done even MORE amazing things and they are the best damn whatever-they-do.

    Please, DC, be humble. Underplay yourself. It would be so refreshing.

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  17. "note to everyone in this town that is not a lawyer: yes, you are making shit. call me when you can actually afford to buy a place to live that isn't a recent crime scene or "only a short drive to the nearest metro!"

    Not being able to afford anything close to / within walking distance of anything is what will keep me from settling here permanently. And I imagine I'm not alone.

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