7.20.2008

OMG guys!

You know those homeless people who like, ask for money at the metro station? You know... they're always all, "Do you have some change?" "Can you spare something?" Sometimes they talk about being hungry or whatever.

Ok, so, these two guys were always making these $20 bets on some baseball game, but then one of them got bored betting with money. So they make this NEW bet. Get this! If one guy loses he has to let the other guy live in his house with his wife and she'll COOK for him.

But the other guy didn't HAVE a wife. So they decided that if the guy without a wife lost, then he would have to be HOMELESS. You know, live on the street and ask for money for food even though I guess he has a job as a "government defense contractor." So that guy lost. And he had to pretend he was like, poor! For a week!

I bet the other homeless people were all, "Here's some jackass with a career selling things to the army and he's going to sleep in the park in his pokemon sleeping bag and beg for food with us? WTF?" Ha! But maybe it made them feel better to see real people with jobs living like them and asking people for food for a little while.

God. I hope someone took pictures.

22 comments:

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  6. Anonymous comments are disabled and comments which are only insults without anything more thoughtful to add will be deleted.

    There is no internet-imposed duty to tolerate trolls. If you can't figure out how to get your publicly posted thoughts into line with protected free speech, it is not my job to help you or to let you stay anyway in the interests of what, being nice? Noise is boring. Get the hell over yourself.

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  7. You should probably follow your own admonition.

    Oh and that "homeless" guy is a tool and this story was clearly written by an intern. Does that add enough to the conversation to keep this comment from getting deleted?

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  8. Yes, that's thoughtful enough. My favorite part was that the intern was clearly told to be sensitive to the whole "homeless" issue, and so the story takes the angle, "homeless people have it really HARD (and that's why this bet is funny, see?)" whereas the two jackasses involved put no obvious thought into the whole sensitivity thing. Pokemon sleeping bag in Du Pont Circle park? Beer bash to "celebrate" with friends? Bite me.

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  9. Somebody ought to call Clarence Beeks in to give that d-bag the "Louie" Winthorp treatment.

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    (Now it looks like I said something totally hella fucking bad-ass.)

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  12. Wealthy Russians have been doing this for years.

    http://english.pravda.ru/russia/history/100676-0/

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  13. We can't move away from this story without noting the best line:

    He noticed people still treated him fairly well because despite his unkempt appearance, he didn't look like a complete homeless.

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  14. Sounds like a gentleman's wager, which should always be accompanied by a respectable donation to the poor. I wonder what the guy did w/ the money? I mean, some of those guys pull in $35k/year begging for spare change.... No dental, tho.

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  15. Seriously Liz, doesn't it strike you that a blog has run a certain way for literally years and within a week of it changing hands, you feel the need to impose a delete hammer just to avoid hurt feelings?

    I mean holy shit.

    This post has been removed by a...just saving you the time.

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  16. This does have a certain Randolph and Mortimer Duke feel to it.

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  17. Liz, I have to ask: Do you actually hate DC? Because it seems like, well, you are still pretty intrigued by it.

    Also a bit surprised how much time you spend defending yourself against people's comments and, ummm, deleting comments. Odd.

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  18. I don't think anyone is owed a forum for trolling, regardless of past practice.

    Rusty was nice and committed to the free expression of ideas. That's great, and you're welcome to go yell at him some more on his other blog if it does that much for you. (Sorry Rusty, they'll know that's sarcasm, right? But I think it's boring and kind of dumb to have a bunch of verbal graffiti after every post.

    And thanks for the concern sweet colheights. It sounded... sincere... not at all like an attempt to imply something like, "What is WRONG with you Liz for not letting people call you names whenever they want?"

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  19. I think you have a lot of potential since you have not touched the two subjects that Rusty overused to the point of complete comatose boredome-the metro and baseball.

    I do think that any post title OMGyou guys makes me lose respect for you a little, unless you are trying for a Hannah Montana watching audience.

    With all the REALLY fucked up suff going in DC- the violence, killings, school system woes, gentrification, Marion Barry, etc. I would guess you could find a lot more stuff to talk about.

    I am a transplant too, but unlike most people who read this blog, I have actually been across the river multiple times and have found real reasons to hate DC. Please kick it up a notch and talk about the real issues!

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  20. I solemnly swear to hate the living hell out of everything on either side of the river, if you promise in return to please please please try to recognize sarcasm.

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